Paco Reviews: "Where the Crawdads Sing"

Did I enjoy Where the Crawdads Sing? How shall I put this ... no, I may have kinda hated it. First film I've genuinely disliked this summer. It came highly recommended because of people I know who have read the book it's based on. But for me, it didn't deliver a positive experience.

First of all, I don't recall seeing a single crawdad (I had to Google what that is), let alone one singing. Blatantly false advertising.

Secondly, Kya, the protagonist, is likeable enough, but she has the habit of making very poor decisions when it comes to dating men. Beyond that, there's a lot of boating around the swamps of North Carolina and a lot of frowning. But hey, if that's your idea of a good time, more power to you.

Kya lives out on the bayou (?) with an abusive and neglectful family. One day, Mom has had enough of it and leaves. So does older brother. Eventually, Kya's abusive dad leaves, too (her family had the smarts to leave the derpy story before I did; I stayed until the credits finished rolling). This leaves Kya all by herself while she's still just a little kid. She survives by hunting mussels and selling them at the local grocery store.

She grows up and then meets Weenie Boyfriend #1. To his credit, he teaches her how to read. They hold hands and stare at each other a lot. And WB1 rounds the bases, if you know what I mean. Then, he completely disappears from Kya's life—no letters, no Crawdad Express telegram, nothing.

Weenie Boyfriend #2 comes around next, fresh from the laboratory where he was pretty much cloned from WB1. But alas, he's the angsty, ulterior-motived bad twin. After they also round the bases, he uses Kya pretty badly, and becomes abusive.

Then one day, WB2 is found dead. Uh oh. You-know-who is accused of the crime. Then the story plays out, yada yada, the end.

Paco's rating: 3 out of 10

The Good: North Carolina seems like a pretty state. The lead actress, Daisy Edgar-Jones, does a good job with the limited material given her.

The Bad: The movie spends so much time in the swamp that you'll want a shower afterward. It goes on a bit long for my tastes; movies over two hours long generally need a light saber or dinosaur or superhman comic book person or hobbit to keep me interested.

The Ugly: Rated PG-13 for a surprising amount of sexual content in a movie that seems to be aimed at teens, and cursing. I found a pic of a crawdad; they are also ugly.