Have you ever had someone "ghost" you? This is when a person, whatever his/her reasons, completely cuts off any and/or all communication with you and basically pretends like you either don't exist or never existed in the first place. In the same amount of time it took Thanos to snap his fingers, poof! You're dead and gone to them.
I have had this happen to more than once. Odds are, so have you.
Sooner or later, we all get unfriended on social media. The casual acquaintances, the people with whom I went on a date or two, that person I home taught for one month and I then got a new assignment, the person I worked with for three months' time 15 or so years ago---I don't mind it when these people consider me no longer worth keeping in their circle of friends. I understand that.
It's when the people I've known for years and years ghost me that I'm genuinely perplexed. (Fortunately, I no longer lose any sleep at all over the girls I dated who ghosted me. I'm happy to say that that part of my life is over and done with and six feet under.)Recently, I was saddened to discover a friend I grew up with had severed me as a social media friend. This is someone with whom I grew up in the same ward, went all through elementary and high school, took part in several scouting activities---even someone whose family took me with them on a summer vacation out of state.
This friend and I disagree on a certain political, moral, and cultural issue. I don't know for certain but strongly suspect that this was his friendship dealbreaker.
I am reminded of the words of President John Taylor, who said:
"If there be trouble existing between me and anybody else, I would meet them half way, yes, I would meet them three quarters or even all of the way. I would feel like yielding; I would say, I do not want to quarrel, I want to be a Saint. I have set out for purity, virtue, brotherhood, and for obedience to the laws of God on earth, and for thrones and principalities and dominions in the eternal worlds, and I will not allow such paltry affairs to interfere with my prospects. I am for life, eternal lives and eternal exaltations in the kingdom of God."
In other words, I don't want to lose a friend over a simple disagreement. I am concerned with bigger fish to fry.
Though I wish to lose no friends through my social media posting, I nevertheless will continue to stand up for the things I believe in, things that I feel truly matter to me. Elder Kevin W. Pearson of the Seventy recently said of social media:
"Much of the content needed for websites and YouTube must come from independent sources ... and individual members of the Church. Your voices must be heard on social media, wherever you live.
"We must be a voice for truth. We must have the faith and courage to speak up and engage in social media in a positive, responsible, noncontentious and effective way. We can simply share what we know and believe with others" (emphasis added).
Admittedly, I am still figuring out the best ways to share things non-contentiously and effectively. I sometimes make mistakes. I realize I have not always picked and chosen my battles wisely, but I'm trying to do better at that and will continue to do so in the future. If we disagree on anything at any time, it's not personal, and it never will be. I will not ghost you for any reason, nor will I fail to hit my brakes if I see you crossing the street.
I'm also reminded at this moment that the aforementioned friend I've spoken of in this post is an exception to the rule; the vast majority still remain my friends regardless of our differences. If you're reading this, then congratulations, you're one of the ones who has stuck with me through thick and thin. I'm grateful for each of you.
And, by the way, your Halloween pictures and stories are awesome. Keep up the great work.
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