Heavy Hands

I was asked to speak in my ward's sacrament meeting today. Below is the text of my talk.

Good afternoon, brothers and sisters. I am grateful for this opportunity to share a few thoughts with you today. I am also grateful for your sustaining vote a month ago when we were called to serve together as a bishopric.

To be honest, I’m still not quite sure how I got here. Serving in this calling wasn’t remotely in my plans, ever. Some of you already know that I perform improv on the weekends, and in improv theater, you are trained to react and respond to the unexpected. But nothing could possibly have prepared me for this.

 

It was President J. Reuben Clark Jr. who taught: “In the service of the Lord, it is not where you serve but how. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one takes the place to which one is duly called, which place one neither seeks nor declines” (in Conference Report, April 1951, p. 154).

 

Since it is our course of study this year in Sunday School, I’ve been reading the Old Testament. I was reading the book of Exodus recently when I came across the following passage in Chapter 17. At this point in time, the house of Israel have just escaped Egypt, and they come up against their first foe in their journey to the promised land.

 

“Then came Amalek, and fought with Israel in Rephidim.

“And Moses said unto Joshua, Choose us out men, and go out, fight with Amalek: to morrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in mine hand.

“So Joshua did as Moses had said to him, and fought with Amalek: and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill.

“And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed.

“But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

“And Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.”

 (Exodus 17:8-13)

Joshua not only “fit the battle of Jericho” but this one, too! I find the symbolism here very powerful. Moses’ hands were “heavy.” I wonder if they were heavy for him not only in the physical but also the spiritual sense. Aaron and Hur were there to “stay up his hands,” or to hold them up when Moses could no longer do so on his own power. In many ways, I see this as the role of a counselor in Church service.

As a Church, we have a prophet whose hands are “stayed up” by two counselors, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and other auxiliary leaders. Our stake president, likewise, has counselors and secretaries. At the ward level, the bishop, as well as elders quorum, Relief Society, Sunday School, Primary, and other presidents all have counselors and secretaries to sustain them in their service. It’s a wonderful structure.

Returning to Exodus, we read more about Moses and his prophetic duties in Chapter 18:

“And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening.

“And when Moses’ father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even?

“And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to inquire of God:

“When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws.
“And Moses’ father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good.

“Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.

“Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to God-ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God:

“And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do.

“Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:

“And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

“If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace.

“So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said.

“And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens.

“And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves.”

(Exodus 18:13-26)

Once again, Moses is weary, and the burden is “heavy.” He has to deal with the children of Israel and their frequent complaining and rebellion for 40 years as they wander in the wilderness. He feels this burden deeply because he has been doing it alone. Then, his father-in-law Jethro comes up with this idea to delegate some of his responsibilities to people he can trust.

The organization of the Church today is not too different from this plan. Our Moses is, of course, President Russell M. Nelson. As rulers over thousands, we have our stake presidency. A bishop serves as a ruler over hundreds. As rulers over 50, there are elders quorum and Relief Society presidencies. For rulers over tens, all the way down to and including families of three, two, or one, we have ministering assignments so that we may assist our ward, stake, and Church in the work of perfecting the Saints.

As I look around this room and also think of those who may be watching us today on YouTube, I try to empathize with the heavy burdens you face. Your challenges are many. These challenges are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. There are those who are frustrated, depressed, those who are weighed down and who grieve. There are those who have not been physically present with us for months or years because of illness or age or even doubts about what they truly believe. There is a place for each of you in the Church but also, more specifically, here in our ward.

The question I find myself wondering lately is, “How can we better sustain you?” There are other hands that need to be raised up, and they are “the hands which hang down” (Hebrews 12:12; D&C 81:5), as we read in the scriptures. After all, we raise our hands to sustain new memberships as they are read into the ward. This is not a one-time action. We must continually be vigilant for those around us who may be in need of our help.

President Henry B. Eyring said:

“Many years ago, I was first counselor to a district president in the eastern United States. More than once, as we were driving to our little branches, he said to me, ‘Hal, when you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.’ Not only was he right, but I have learned over the years that he was too low in his estimate” (“Try, Try, Try,” October 2018 general conference).

We recently studied the prophet Elijah in Come, Follow Me. He is one of my favorite prophets of the Bible. Following his confrontation with the priests of Baal, when he called down fire from heaven, Jezebel the queen was furious and sought to have Elijah killed. It is at this point that we read about the tremendous toll this had taken on this man of God:

“(Elijah) went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

“And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.

“And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.

“And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.

“And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights.”

 (1 Kings 19:4-8)

From this story, I learn two things. First of all, a nap and a snack can lighten your mood! But seriously, and more importantly, I was stunned to learn that even a great man such as Elijah, one of the most prominent prophets in the scriptures, had been depressed to the point of just wanting to die. But he recovered. An angel intervened to save his life.

While our Heavenly Father indeed still sends angels to the Earth, I feel that most of the time we are the ones who are meant to act in the stead of angels to serve those around us.

Ministering may look like different things to different people. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. We can minister with a short visit, or dropping off a treat or a note, or even a simple text message, depending on the needs of those we minister to. As we minister, we not only bless others but are ourselves blessed through our efforts.

President Lorenzo Snow said, “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated” (in Conference Report, April 1899, pp. 2-3).

Camilla Kimball, the wife of President Spencer W. Kimball, said, “Never suppress a generous thought.” My wife, Jana, and I love this motto and have tried to employ it as we seek inspiration to serve those around us. Jana has been a great example to me of following this counsel. Just last week, she baked several loaves of banana bread; then I drove while she delivered them to numerous neighbors. I’ve also seen numerous good examples of generosity and service in this ward, particularly during the pandemic when we weren’t able to meet face to face for a long time.

Personally, I’ve been blessed countless times by people who have ministered unselfishly. I was 42 years old when Jana and I married; her age at the time is still unknown. Prior to that, I spent the majority of my adult life as a single member of the Church, including many years in which I feel like I stood out like a sore thumb in family wards. Fortunately, two bishops in two of my wards in particular took an active interest in me, befriended me, and regularly checked in with me during difficult health challenges and other trials. One of my home teachers took me out to lunch each month for his visits. I remember a very cold, 10-degree day when he answered a distress call from me and showed up to change a flat tire on my car when I had injured my shoulder and couldn’t do it myself. These people truly ministered to me, as did others.

I want you to know that in the month I’ve been able to work with Bishop LeVitre and Brother Padilla that their hearts are pure. They genuinely care about each of you and wish to help relieve your burdens, and we pray for you by name. Their callings are truly inspired, and I am grateful for the opportunity to serve with him. I am anxious to get to know more of you, to listen to and learn from you, and to serve you in any way I can.

I know that our Heavenly Father loves us perfectly, and that is why He sent His Beloved Son, who likewise has loved us perfectly through His Atonement. I know that Russell M. Nelson is a prophet of God. Though the world is in commotion, he looks optimistically to the future. I also know that Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God, that he saw the Father and the Son, as he testified. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Prophet and the Proclamation

The Family: A Proclamation to the World was first introduced 25 years ago this week. I am grateful for the eternal truths contained in this wonderful document. I was serving as a missionary in Lima, Peru, when it was announced; and after our mission president encouraged us to share copies of the document in our everyday work, we saw many doors open to us, both figuratively and literally.

In Sheri Dew's biography of our current prophet, President Russell M. Nelson---an excellent book that I read not too long ago--she tells the story of how the proclamation came about.

In 1994, the brethren of the Church were concerned by the erosion of the family unit and numerous trends that were troubling. President Nelson, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, explains in the book:

"The Twelve reviewed both doctrine and policies, considering those things that could not be changed---doctrine---and those things that could possibly be---policies. They discussed issues they saw coming, including an intensified societal push for gay marriage and transgender rights. 'But that was not the end of what we saw,' Elder Nelson explained. 'We could see the efforts of various communities to do away with all standards and limitations on sexual activity. We saw the confusion of genders. We could see it all coming.'

"This extended discussion, along with others over a period of time, led to the conclusion that the Twelve should prepare a document, perhaps even a proclamation, outlining the Church's stand on the family to present to the First Presidency for consideration. ...

"As an outgrowth of these discussions, a committee consisting of Elders Faust, Maxwell, and Nelson was appointed to draft a document."

Over the course of more than a year, these three brethren worked with the First Presidency to bring the document to its current status ... (and it was) introduced by Pres. Hinckley in the general Relief Society meeting September 23, 1995."

This idea was well accepted. "For many, the proclamation seemed to be little more than a restatement of well-understood, time-honored principles about marriage, family, and gender identity. In 1995, marriage between a man and a woman was a given. ...

"'But we could see what was coming,' said Elder Nelson some years later. 'What seemed so obvious in 1995 is now a standard, really, for the entire world. Over the years, I've given many copies of the proclamation to many governmental leaders not of our faith who've been grateful.'" ...

"In a relative few years, dozens of countries, including the United States, legalized gay marriage. Transgender issues came to the fore, with celebrities and other influencers popularizing the notion that gender was a matter of choice rather than a divinely directed reality. Criticism of the Church's doctrinal position as well as policies associated with that doctrine came from both outside and inside the Church. Society increasingly hurled cries of bigotry toward anyone who opposed gay marriage on religious or moral grounds."

"'There are those who label us bigots,' said Elder Nelson, 'but the bigots are those who don't allow us to feel as we feel but want us to allow them to feel as they feel. Our stand ultimately boils down to the law of chastity. The Ten Commandments are still valid. They've never been revoked. ... That powerful message is our stand. We cannot change it. We welcome people of different attitudes into the Church, but it is not our prerogative to change laws that God has decreed.'"

Reading this story made me especially grateful for the seer role of our prophets, seers, and revelators.

Here we are, 25 years after the proclamation's release, and we are exactly where the prophets warned us we'd be. Much has changed in the world, but the proclamation's teachings remain the same.

I look forward learning more from our prophets, seers, and revelators at this coming weekend's general conference.

Bicentennial of the First Vision

At the most recent general conference of the Church two weeks ago, President Russell M. Nelson announced a new proclamation---the first one of its kind in 25 years. Drafted and signed by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, it is only the sixth such proclamation issued in the history of the Restored Church.

The Restoration of the Fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ: A Bicentennial Proclamation to the World has been issued to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the First Vision of the Prophet Joseph Smith, which occurred sometime in the sping of 1820. This was the event that ushered in the Restoration of the Church and this, the dispensation of the fulness of times.

In Joseph Smith---History 1:33, the Prophet recorded that the angel Moroni told him, at the young age of 17, that "my name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people." This is certainly true. I've heard a lot of testimonies borne from both sides of that argument.

As for me, I will have and will speak of Joseph Smith's name only for good. Let me add my testimony here: I know without a doubt that this 14-year-old boy went into the woods to pray and saw the Father and the Son in vision about 200 years ago. I know that he was called to be a prophet, went on to translate the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of God, and thereafter restored priesthood authority and accomplished many other incredible feats, sealing his life and testimony with his own blood in 1844 at age 38.

I felt the Holy Spirit witness of the First Vision countless times as my companions and I related the story during my two-year missionary service for the Church. I observed in awe as it moved people to great happiness and tears and caused them to change their very lives. The story of the First Vision holds such incredible power because it happens to be true, and the Restoration it started continues to roll forth unto the ends of the Earth.

A Pandemic, a Quake, and a Quarantine ... Oh My

What a year we've had this past month ... amirite?

It's not like Paco needs to tell you what's been going on out there since he last blogged, but for the sake of future generation(s) or the cave dwellers who may be reading this post: The coronavirus, or COVID-19, has reared its ugly head into each of our lives in a matter of a few, short weeks. Originating in Wuhan, China, and spreading across the globe, it has changed things for all of us in countless ways.

Many businesses have had to close their doors and numerous public gatherings and events have been canceled in order to help contain the spread. A "stay home, stay safe" order for many of us means that the only exceptions for leaving home right now are for work (those who are "essential"), grocery shopping/takeout, or for medical needs. We've learned new terms like social distancing as we've each tried to lessen the spread and to weather the storm of this disease.

I remember watching the news the night when the first diagnosis was announced here in Utah. Then that number became a few more people, then a hundred, then 300, and currently it's (the last I saw) over 1,800 infected here in our lovely Deseret. The United States, at the moment, leads the world in the number of COVID-19 diagnoses, especially in larger cities like New York City.

JB and I have been fortunate enough to be able to continue to work throughout all of this (JB from home), but we are keenly aware that not all of our friends and neighbors have been so lucky. Many are worried about the economy, whether they're still going to have jobs when this thing is over, and how they're going to make ends meet until then.

If dealing with all this wasn't enough, we out of nowhere experienced a strong earthquake here in Utah (5.7 on the Richter scale) at approximately 7:09 a.m. the morning on March 18, with its epicenter in nearby Magna. Yours truly was asleep, but it sure gave me a rude awakening. A number of aftershocks followed it that day and have occurred in the weeks since then.

You can't spell pandemic without the word panic. As one who already dealt with anxiety and depression on a daily basis prior to these new challenges, I've had all sorts of thoughts and feelings about these events---not all of them optimistic nor, admittedly, rational. I've had some really hard days mentally, while other days have been ... just okay.

Then, just in time, came general conference this past weekend. Never did it come at a time when I needed it more.

Under the circumstances, the sessions were not held in the Conference Center but rather in a small auditorium at the Church Office Building. Only the First Presidency and each session's speakers and prayer givers were present. Even the Tabernacle Choir members were not there; prerecorded broadcasts of the choir's former performances were aired as the musical numbers instead.

Not once did I hear from any speaker any doom or gloom about our current situation, which was not in any way ignored. They, in fact, acknowledged it directly but also spoke of it as a temporary difficulty and a trial that will pass in time. I heard only faith and optimism in the messages that were given.

While church meetings have been temporarily suspended and temples have been closed until it is safe for them to resume and reopen, the home is now the de facto sacred refuge for us as Church members. Multiple speakers spoke on this concept. This is, in fact, what the prophet, the Apostles, and the other general authorities have been preparing us for over the past few years! The introduction of the Come, Follow Me curriculum and the emphasis on home-centered church have been getting us ready for the current situation this whole time. JB and I are doing our best at present to make our home such a refuge for ourselves not only on Sundays but throughout the week.

In the Lord's due time, His work will roll forth. I believe that there is so much still to be done, temple work foremost among those tasks, that the He will make a way for His temples to reopen before long. President Nelson, in fact, announced eight new temples to be built across the globe, including another one (our third!) in Davis County in Syracuse, Utah; one in mainland China in Shanghai; and another in Dubai, United Arab Emirates---the Church's first temple in the Mideast!

No, general conference didn't magically heal my anxiety about our current situation. Depression and anxiety will still always be there for me to deal with to one degree or another until I am cured of them beyond this mortal existence. But conference did help me immensely nonetheless. It recharged my spiritual batteries and has given me sorely needed direction and hope as we move forward through the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I hope to cheerfully do all things in my power to endure whatever may come in the near future. I look forward to joining my fellow Saints in fasting and prayer this Friday, Good Friday, along with all others from different faiths or no faith who wish to join us, per President Nelson's invitation, as we implore the Lord for help and relief for those suffering physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

Divinely Assigned Guardians

I remember when the Church's Family Proclamation was first announced. It was September 1995, and I had been serving in the mission field in Peru for just over four months. President Gordon B. Hinckley read the document in the women's meeting prior to general conference.

Among other principles, the Proclamation, just the fifth of its kind ever produced by the leaders of the Church, read that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" and "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Our mission president loved every word of it, and so did we. He gave us several copies of it so each companionship in the mission could distribute them to the people with whom we came in contact on a daily basis. It opened a lot of doors for us in our work.

The thing of it is: Everyone we met agreed completely with its teachings and accepted them as universal truths. Nobody had any problem with it, be they members of the Church or non-members.

Flash forward to 2019, not even a quarter of a century later, and we're in a completely different world. Merely repeating the teachings of the Family Proclamation is basically now hate speech and bigotry in the view of many of those in the Great and Spacious Building. I'm disappointed to observe that many of those upset with the Proclamation and the Church's teachings are those who would describe themselves as active members of the Church.

President Dallin H. Oaks speaks on this subject frequently, including at the latest general conference just a few weeks ago. In his latest "controversial" message, "Two Great Commandments," he taught:

"Marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage. ... Eternal life includes the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female."

For those familiar with the doctrine of the Church, there are no new concepts here. And yet the backlash came, almost predictably, of Church members critical of Pres. Oaks and apologizing for the Church, its leaders, and its teachings. I observed a number of these conversations on social media, and when I dared speak in defense of Pres. Oaks, I was told by multiple people I was "behaving reprehensibly," that I was not following my covenants to love others, and worse.

It's almost as if Isaiah foresaw this when he wrote: "For they shall be ashamed of the oaks" (Isaiah 1:29).

A friend of mine---one who, like me, sustains Pres. Oaks---wrote: "I believe Pres. Oaks has chosen to follow the example of Abinadi, being a willing sacrifice, laying his life and reputation on the altar for the cause of truth, taking the heat (pun intended) for unapologetically declaring the truth to a hard-hearted people."

It's hard for me to disagree. I recently re-read Abinadi's words in my own scripture study. A few passages stood out to me:

Abinadi's opponents claimed that "he pretendeth the Lord hath spoken it. ... O king, what great evil hast thou done ... that we should be condemned of God or judged of this man?" (Mosiah 12:12-13).

Abinadi said, "I must fulfil the commandments wherewith God has commanded me; and because I have told you the truth, ye are angry with me. And because I have spoken the word of God ye have judge me that I am mad. ... My words fill you with wonder and amazement, and with anger" (Mosiah 13:4, 8).

Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke prophetically in 1978 when he said:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions (see 1 Kings 18:21). ...

"This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ."

We certainly have arrived at that day and will be there for some time, I think.

Moroni also spoke directly to those of "the holy church of God": "Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies---because of the praise of the world?" (Mormon 8:38).

I suppose Pres. Oaks keeps speaking on this topic because people aren't getting the message. The number of those murmuring about it speak to this. I suspect he will continue to speak on it for the same reason.

"They did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them" (1 Nephi 2:12).

It's clear to me how the two great commandments work together: You must love others while simultaneously upholding the truths contained in the scriptures and taught by the modern prophets. You don't have to choose only one or the other, in spite of what the world teaches.

In his talk, Pres. Oaks spelled it out, and I don't think he could have spoken more plainly: We will all inherit a kingdom of glory, but only those who will strive to keep all of the commandments will inherit the highest, which is exaltation with our Heavenly Father. Teaching the true nature of those commandments and inviting others to inherit this kingdom is an act of great love, not of condemnation. Conversely, knowing the true path while also teaching others that remaining on a path that leads to lesser things is an acceptable option seems like an act of betrayal.

I realize that there are strong feelings about this topic. But I also believe there is a way for every son and daughter of God to obey this and every other commandment that has been given (see 1 Nephi 3:7). I believe a loving, wise Heavenly Father can and will provide a way for all who wish to find it.

I also find it significant that both the initial announcement of the Family Proclamation and President Oaks's latest talk on the subject occurred in the women's session of general conference. When Pres. Oaks mentioned the "divinely assigned guardians of the eternal family," he was speaking to the women of the Church. In a world that will teach the next generation, including my nieces and nephews, the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture, I will point them toward God's truth and not the world's counterfeits for it.

"Notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God" (Moroni 9:6).

Rationalization and Other Made-Up Stuff

Recently, I watched an old favorite film, Back to the Future. I listened to the commentary this time through, learning in the process what is perhaps not really all-that-secret of a Hollywood secret: Filmmakers make up a lot of stuff.

One of the filmmakers said that when it comes to science fiction movie plots, there's always a bit of actual science thrown in with a lot of made-up stuff. The flux capacitor, for example, is (gasp!) made-up science.

It can go the same way with religion. Throwing in a bit of actual doctrine together with made-up stuff comes in the form of rationalization.

In one of my favorite talks of the latest general conference, Elder Neil L. Andersen spoke on this topic:

"In today's world, the question 'What is truth?' can be painfully complex to the secular mind. ...

"Caught in today's confusion, it is no wonder that so many consign themselves to the words spoken 2,500 years ago by Protagoras to the young Socrates: 'What is true for you,' he said, 'is true for you, and what is true for me, is true for me.'"

This reminds me of one of the phrase "I'm just living my truth," which you see a lot in social media and in the culture right now. The thing is, there is no such thing as "your" truth. There is the truth, which exists independent of your opinion, and then there is your opinion, and the two do not always meet.

John Adams said: "The truth is always the truth, in spite of our feelings."

Elder Andersen continues:

"In opposition to the truths of eternity, there always have been counterfeits to distract God's children from the truth. The arguments of the adversary are always the same. Listen to these, voiced 2,000 years ago:

"'[You] cannot know of things [you] do not see. ... [Whatever a person does is] no crime.'

"'[God is not blessing you, but] every [person] prosper[s] according to his [own] genius.' (Alma 30:15, 17)

"'It is not reasonable that such a being as ... Christ ... [would] be the Son of God.' (Helaman 16:18)

"'[What you believe is a foolish tradition and a] derangement of your [mind].'" (Alma 30:14, 23, 27)

I am troubled as I see a great deal of this type of rationalization among friends and acquaintances on social media. I've observed multiple friends, including returned missionaries and otherwise faithful Church members most of their lives, let doubts fester and faith decay to the point they leave the Church.

My heart hurts for them. Like Nephi, I am "grieved for the hardness of their hearts" (1 Nephi 7:8). I am saddened for the loss of covenants that would bless their lives and their families' lives in exchange for a road fueled by rationalization that leads only also to anger, bitterness, and cynicism.

In a January CES fireside address, Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke on the snowballing of doubt:

"'Doubt, unless changed into inquiry from reliable, trustworthy sources, has no value or worth. The stagnant doubter, one content with himself, unwilling to make the appropriate effort, to pay the price of divine discovery, inevitably reaches unbelief and darkness. His doubts grow like poisonous mushrooms in the dim shadows of his mental and spiritual chambers. At last, blind like the mole in his burrow, he usually substitutes ridicule for reason, indolence for labor, and becomes a lazy scholar. Doubt is not wrong unless it becomes an end in and of itself. That doubt which feeds and grows upon itself, and breeds more doubt, is evil."

This is not to say that it is wrong to have questions or doubts about doctrine or events in Church history. Everyone does at some point. But if you feed the beast, as the old saying goes, it will come to you every time it's hungry.

Whenever I have a doubt or a question, I think of the many, many times I felt the Spirit burn and testify of the truth of the Restored Church, the Book of Mormon, and other important issues. That knowledge is crucial as I study out issues and work them out through study, prayer, and pondering.

In the same fireside, Sister Ruth Renlund said:

"The blogosphere cannot replace scripture study and reading the words of living prophets and apostles. Foster your faith by going to trustworthy sources to find answers to your questions."

Yes, I realize the irony of sharing that quote in a blog post.

Sister Becky Craven, second counselor in the Young Women general presidency, also spoke on rationalization at general conference:

"Because of our mortal nature, don't we sometimes rationalize our behavior, at time referring to our actions as being in the gray, or mixing good with something that's not so good? Anytime we say, 'however,' 'except,' or 'but' when it applies to following the counsel of our prophet leaders or living the gospel carefully, we are in fact saying, 'That counsel does not apply to me.' We can rationalize all we want, but the fact is, there is not a right way to do the wrong thing!"

In an April 2016 general conference talk, Elder Dallin H. Oaks said that a lot of the rationalization so prevalent in our day not only comes from those who have left but also from those still within the Church:

"The Church in its divine mission and we in our personal lives seem to face increasing opposition today. Perhaps as the Church grows in strength and we members grow in faith and obedience, Satan increases the strength of his opposition so we will continue to have 'opposition in all things.'

"Some of this opposition even comes from Church members. Some who use personal reasoning or wisdom to resist prophetic direction give themselves a label borrowed from elected bodies---'the loyal opposition.'

"[T]he Book of Mormon describes three methods the devil will use in the last days. First, he will 'rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good' (2 Nephi 28:20). Second, he will 'pacify, and lull [members] away into carnal security,' saying 'Zion prospereth, all is well' (verse 21). Third, he will tell us 'there is no hell; and ... I am no devil, for there is none' (verse 22), and therefore there is no right and wrong. Because of this opposition, we are warned not to be 'at ease in Zion!' (verse 24)."

It's a day in which the mobs "(teach) for doctrines the commandments of men" (Matthew 15:9). I'm grateful for the gospel and also for the living prophets, seers, and revelators, who help us to see "things as they really are, and ... things as they really will be" (Jacob 4:7).

General Conference April 2019 Review

The latest general conference of the Church was held a couple of weeks ago now. I certainly enjoyed all of the talks I was awake for (forget the fact that I slept through 1½ sessions on Saturday; but I guess that's why they put them online and also publish them in the Ensign in May).

I'm sure you've dying to hear my take on this latest conference. (Admit it, both of you readers; you have been tossing and turning many a night.) So, here it is.

 - We all need to get our houses in order. That was certainly an overarching theme. Pres. Russell M. Nelson said, "Time is running out." When a prophet of God says something like that, better sit up and listen. And then get up and do something about it.

 - The era of temple building is moving forward boldly, with a number of additional temples announced. JB and I watched the Sunday afternoon session at her parents' home in Grantsville, and when a temple was announced for the Tooele valley, they were overjoyed at the news.

 - In our aforementioned dinner out with the Del Carpios and our other Peruvian friends, Elder Del Carpio (who is an Area Authority Seventy) told us a number of things he learned in the general authority training meeting he had attended that Thursday morning. One of the emphases was on the gathering of Israel, and that theme was certainly reflected in many of the conference talks.

Another is on the reclaiming of the one sheep that has strayed from the 99, which was part of the rationale, as he understood it, in the Church reversing its policy on the baptism of children of same-sex parents (a hot-button topic, to be sure, and one I'll discuss a bit more in a future post here; so, buckle up, both of you). See Chapter 10 of Acts for a reference on how the gospel was spread from the Jews to the Gentiles in New Testament times.

 - According to Mormon Newsroom, another item Pres. Nelson shared at one of the general authority training meetings was this statement: "If you folks are not being persecuted on a daily basis, you are not doing your job very well."

Wow. Are we to expect, then, that persecutions of and against the Church and its leaders will increase? And does this apply to all of the other members of the Church, as well?

It certainly sounds like it.

 - Priesthood session, now a once-a-year meeting, returned for this conference, for which my brothers, my nephew Luke, and I gathered at Mom's house to watch Saturday night. The entire First Presidency spoke, and when Pres. Nelson stepped to the pulpit, I was fully expecting a social media fast, not unlike the one he challenged the sisters to take six months ago, for the brethren.

This did not happen. However, he did speak of something no less important:

"Brethren, we need to do better and be better in how we honor the women in our lives, beginning with our wives and daughters, our mothers and sisters.

"It is the foremost duty of each man to love and care for his wife. Become one with her. Be her partner. Make it easy for her to want to be yours. No other interest in life should take priority over building an eternal relationship with her.

"Nothing on TV, a mobile device, or a computer is more important than her well-being. I invite you to do the following: (1) Take an inventory of how you spend your time and where you devote your energy. That will tell you where your heart is. (2) Pray to have your heart attuned to your wife's heart. (3) Seek to bring her joy. (4) Seek her counsel and listen.

"Her input will improve your output."

It sounds like I have a great deal of homework to work on for (at least) the next six months.

Conference Breakfast/April 2019

The latest general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was held over the weekend. As is our custom, the boys congregated at Mom's home in North Salt Lake Saturday night to watch priesthood session together while snacking on Costco cheesecake.

We also gathered as a family at Mom's home again Sunday morning for breakfast, after which we watched the Sunday morning session of conference together.

JB and I also took advantage of the opportunity to deliver birthday presents to our April birthdays (Graham, Jenna, and Jackson), like the Fun Aunt and Uncle we are. Jackson was particularly grateful for his new Infinity Gauntlet from the Avengers movie series.

We spent the rest of conference Sunday out in Grantsville at JB's parents' home, where we have a dual role as Fun Aunt and Uncle with JB's side of the family. It's a tough job, but we are more than qualified to do it.

Things Both Great and Small

In the October 2001 general conference of the Church, Pres. James E. Faust, second counselor in the First Presidency of the Church, gave a talk titled "Some Great Thing" in which he shared the following:

"We are all familiar with the Old Testament story of Naaman, the captain of the Syrian hosts, who was a leper. A little Israelite servant told Naaman's wife that there was a prophet in Israel who could heal him. Naaman came with his chariot and horses to the house of Elisha, who sent a messenger to instruct Naaman, 'Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean.'

"You younger boys know how it is when you show your hands to your mother: she'll tell you to go and wash! But Naaman was not a young boy. He was the captain of the Syrian hosts, and he was offended by Elisha's instruction to wash in the Jordan. So he 'went away in a rage.' One of Naaman's servants with a wise head remonstrated with him and said: 'If the prophet had bid thee [to] do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?' Naaman then repented and followed the counsel of the prophet. The leprosy disappeared, and 'his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.' 'Some great thing' in this instance was extraordinarily simple and easy to do."

Pres. Faust then went on to say:

"We do not prove our love for the Savior only by doing 'some great thing.' If the prophet personally asked you to go on a mission to some strange and exotic place, would you go? You would probably make every effort to go. But what about paying tithing? What about doing your home teaching? We show our love for the Savior by doing the many small acts of faith, devotion, and kindness to others that define our character."

That talk has stayed with me over the years. It has been on my mind these past few months while I've observed the prophet and other leaders of the Church ask its membership to do some things that ultimately are not that different from what Elisha asked of Naaman.

At the latest general conference in October, for example, Pres. Russell M. Nelson spoke of "The Correct Name of the Church," stressing the importance of using the full name of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when possible and of avoiding the use of the term "Mormon Church."

Reacting to this, one Church member ranted on social media: "This is not the policy change you order up if you're conforming to the modern world. The modern world doesn't like long and gangly names that are confusing and ambiguous. Say 'the Mormons' and everyone knows who you're talking about. Say the now approved 'restored Church of Jesus Christ' and everyone says, 'What?'"

Well, in the first place, the Church has never at any point in its existence been about "conforming to the modern world," nor do I suspect it ever will. (And I thank my Heavenly Father for it!) In fact, I suspect the divide between the Church and the world will only continue to grow farther apart until the Savior comes again. Beyond that issue, however, it seems the point of this clarification (not a "policy change") sailed right over this person's head.

At the same general conference, Pres. Nelson also invited the sisters of the Church to take a 10-day fast from social media. I'm aware of several sisters who did so, including JB. (But I'll let her tell her own story of the things she learned by doing so.) Others, though, did not, and posted on (where else?) social media their reasons for being exempt from this challenge. It was October, once again, and was nearing election time when the prophet spoke on this, and I read the statuses of those who mentioned their need to raise their voices for democracy, smashing the patriarchy, and the like instead.

Speaking of November's election, as a third example of one of those small and simple things, the Utah Area presidency of the Church asked its members to oppose the passage of Proposition 2 in Utah, which was to legalize the use of medical marijuana in the state under certain conditions.

I read in The Salt Lake Tribune (where else?) this hot take at the time:

"The presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (sic) sent out a ... letter requesting that local Utah church leaders encourage THEIR congregations to oppose Prop 2, which would legalize medical marijuana in Utah. Not only does the church have no place inserting itself into political matters ... but they are also not listening to their membership and to the general public on the matter. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, 54% of people who identified as 'very active' in the church support the legalization of medical marijuana, and 74% of somewhat active Mormons said they supported it."

I got this letter (mentioned by the above writer) from the Utah Area presidency. If a Church leader asks me to do such a thing, it is good enough for me. I didn't vote to support the measure, but it passed anyway and was later amended by the state legislature. (That is also another story and not something I want to re-hash with this post, whatever your feelings on the matter may be.)

Some would call this "blind obedience," but I don't for a second. I obey because I have a testimony of the Church and that its head is the Savior, Jesus Christ. Following the counsel of my leaders has blessed me every time I have done so. And yes, one of those things was "go[ing] on a mission to some strange and exotic place," and I "ma[de] every effort to go."

We all have the choice, like Naaman, to obey or to "go away in a rage," even if it is a metaphorical one or one of indifference.

In the future, I expect the Church will continue to ask both small and "great things" of me, and I know that I will be blessed when I hearken to those things.

In concluding his aforementioned talk, I conclude this post with the words of Pres. Faust: "May we all be faithful in doing the day-to-day, ordinary things that prove our worthiness, for they will lead us to and qualify us for great things."

Despitefully Used

The year 2019 hasn't gotten off to such a great start for me. At the moment, I feel downright awful.

For a number of years now (more than a decade, in fact), I've been a contractor for a local business. At some points, it's been my only job; at other times, it's been supplemental work. Over that time, I've had more than one "Will this ever become a full-time possibility?" conversation with the Powers That Be, and always the answer has been that there isn't enough work to warrant that happening.

Nevertheless, when they've asked me to do something, I have done it. When they've needed me in a pinch to meet a publishing deadline, I've dropped what I was doing multiple times to rearrange my schedule, often working around the clock to get my assignments done. When they've said "Jump!" I've asked "how high?" And to boot, I believe I've done so while being paid much less than others doing similar work in my field.

Well, just this past week, the same Powers That Be not only informed me that a whole team has been hired and has for some time now been working full-time doing the same work they used to send my way, but to add insult to injury, they also told me there probably wasn't anything else for me to do for them in the future. Essentially, they have disavowed my existence, not unlike how the government would disavow Tom Cruise were he ever to fail at his impossible mission.

It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate any further or to reveal names. This is where I'm at right now. I feel liked a used Kleenex and not in any sense a valued human being or employee.

In His Sermon on the Mount, the Savior spoke of "them which despitefully use you" (Matthew 5:44).

Incidentally, I was there at the Conference Center last month for the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional, just a few dozen rows back from President Russell M. Nelson when he spoke on this very topic:

"(The Lord) gave you and me an unlimited capacity to love. That includes the capacity to love the unlovable and those who not only do not love you but presently persecute you and despitefully use you."

Later on in the same talk, he added:

"Through His infinite Atonement, you can forgive those who have hurt you and who may never accept responsibility for their cruelty to you.

"It is usually easy to forgive one who sincerely and humbly seeks your forgiveness. But the Savior will grant you the ability to forgive anyone who has mistreated you in any way. Then their hurtful acts can no longer canker your soul."

Little did I know at that moment how much I needed to hear those words and to re-read them again tonight. My soul needs some serious un-cankering right now.

There is an old saying that another door opens when one door closes. I believe this is one of those times for me.

What does that mean, exactly? Well, the full phrase in the scripture, now that I read it again, is to "pray for them which despitefully use you." I can start there.

I also happened on this wise counsel from a friend on social media just the other day, and I believe it's the path that I now want to follow:

"Want to 'get back' at people that did wrong by you earlier in life?
1. Forgive them.
2. Don't show them how successful you are; show them how happy you are.
3. Wish them well, mean it and move on.
4. Repeat 1-3 for everyone on your 'wronged me' list."

It's the only path that make sense, and it's something I'm going to work hard at doing right now and throughout the year. It's good advice not only for work relationships but also for every other one, like dealing with exes, misunderstandings between friends, and the bullies who once made my life a living hell.

The First Presidency's Christmas Devotional

It's good to have friends in high places, and one of mine is good old Pepe. We've known each other and have been friends since literally pre-school.

Pepe has been a member of the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square (or the artists formerly known as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) for many years now. Most of those years, at about this time of year, he has generously given me tickets to attend the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional down at the Conference Center. It is always a wonderful experience attending an evening of inspirational Christmas messages, as well as listening to music from the TabChoir and Orchestra at Temple Square.

JB and I went on our first date, in fact, to the devotional two years ago. Last year, we attended once more, just a week after we got engaged. And for the third straight year, we attended Sunday night for the first time as a married couple.

The Conference Center was beautifully decorated.

The devotional itself was marvelous. The speakers were Sister Sharon Eubank of the Relief Society General Presidency; Elder Terence M. Vinson of the Presidency of the Seventy; Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles; and finally our prophet, Pres. Russell M. Nelson. It was incredible to sit just a stone's throw from a prophet of God, hearing his inspired counsel.

The TabChoir and orchestra performed "The First Noel," "Silent Night," "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful," and the "Hallelujah" chorus from Handel's great work Messiah. Years ago, Dad taught me years that you always stand for any performance of the "Hallelujah" chorus, following a precedent set by the British king George II, who was so moved when he first heard it that he stood up.

And so, when in Rome, etc.

After the devotional, we took a stroll around Temple Square, in spite of a light snowstorm, to see the lights, which are always a beautiful sight.

It's an added bonus to have a beautiful person at your side.

SAD but Not Hopeless

With Daylight Saving Time ending this morning at 2:00 a.m., the sun set a whole lot earlier tonight. And it will continue to set earlier and earlier until the winter solstice in late December, just like it does every year.

With the shortening of days, not coincidentally there is also a higher occurrence of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) in people. As the length of days dwindles and we move closer into the winter, those who suffer from this illness can feel depressed most of the day, lose interest in activities, have low energy or problems sleeping, feel sluggish or agitated, have difficulty concentrating, or feel just hopeless, worthless, or guilty. Some even have frequent thoughts of death or suicide.

I know this because I just googled the term seasonal affective disorder and then found stuff on the Internet. Also, because I have suffered with SAD in years past, as well as with depression throughout the calendar year. I know how very difficult it can be. I've endured all of those symptoms.

There was even a time in my life in which I was so low that depression, coupled with a difficult physical challenge, consumed me to the point I thought there was no way I would recover from either. I remember once uttering the words out loud to a loved one: "I am not going to get better from this. This is going to kill me."

Yet here I am. I'm alive and kicking. Time and experience have helped me learn that horrible times pass, that you can and do get better, that therapies combined with positive daily thought patterns lead to healing.

And while I type this, I also realize at the same time that there are others who have had these same feelings and are no longer with us because they took their own lives.

This is why depression is such a dangerous illness: It makes you believe that this is a rational option, often that it is the one and only way out of your pain and anguish.

I've been to two funerals of friends who committed suicide. I've mourned and wept with their families. I miss them.

It's at times like these that I am reminded I need to talk, or at least blog, about this topic more. Because if I haven't learned empathy for others through my own experiences with depression, then the lessons I've learned have been wasted on me. Because it is so raw and real, my hopes in opening up about it are that it helps somebody, somehow.

Last year, when I was still on the Island of Misfit Toys, I gave a talk in sacrament meeting in which I talked briefly about my experiences with depression. Fast forward to just a few months ago, when JB and I went back to visit the ward on the night our old bishopric bid farewell after being released. I stopped to chat with an acquaintance from the ward who greeted me in the parking lot. He mentioned this talk of mine and told me how grateful he was that I had spoken about depression, because he was going through a really hard time at that time. He thanked me, and I was grateful for the feedback. I followed a prompting, and it made a difference to at least one person.

There is still such a stigma associated with depression. My hope is that by talking about it we can help diminish it.

Finally, and this is my last point for this post: I am among those who used to think, naively, that prophets and Apostles didn't deal with the kinds of problems and challenges we common folk have, and I've learned over the years that it just isn't true. They know far more about it than we think. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke of this in a semi-recent general conference talk (one of the landmark addresses, I think, of the past decade) in which he addressed depression, reminding us that President George Albert Smith and a number of other prominent men and women have dealt with and are living with depression. Truly, God's rain falls "on the just and on the unjust" alike (Matthew 5:45).

While reading through the Old Testament this past week, I came across this passage in my study of the prophet Elijah:

"He himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers" (1 Kings 19:4).

It sounds suspiciously to me like Elijah was depressed, even suicidal. He had to deal with one of the worst and most wicked kings of Israel, Ahab, and his infamous wife, Jezebel, and after much fighting and struggling with a populace that largely didn't believe in the things he tried to teach them, he came to the point at which he just wanted to die.

Fortunately, there is more to this story:

"And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat. And he looked, and behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again. And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee" (1 Kings 19:5-7; emphasis added).

"The journey is too great for thee" is certainly a perfect way of describing just how hard it can get for those shouldering very heavy burdens, including the depressed.

I love this passage. We learn that, thousands of years before the TV show "Touched by an Angel," Elijah was literally touched by one, and it apparently saved his life (until he was later carried to heaven in a chariot of fire!).

Whose angel will you be? Whose life will you touch (even save?) with a small act of kindness? If you ever need one, family and friends, I am here for you, at any hour of the day, whatever your demons may be—be they depression or whatever else. If you're thinking you don't matter, you do. If you're contemplating leaving, please, please stay. You are loved, and you matter.

You matter so much that someone whose love surpasses us all suffered and died for you on the cross of Calvary. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 3:16).

Ghosted

Being ghosted: It's a scary topic. Which is why I guess I am writing about it on Halloween. Also, JB is home sick, and we didn't go out partying anywhere tonight. So, I guess you could say I now fully belong to the Old, Boring, Married (OBM) crowd on holidays such as these.

Have you ever had someone "ghost" you? This is when a person, whatever his/her reasons, completely cuts off any and/or all communication with you and basically pretends like you either don't exist or never existed in the first place. In the same amount of time it took Thanos to snap his fingers, poof! You're dead and gone to them.

I have had this happen to more than once. Odds are, so have you.

Sooner or later, we all get unfriended on social media. The casual acquaintances, the people with whom I went on a date or two, that person I home taught for one month and I then got a new assignment, the person I worked with for three months' time 15 or so years ago---I don't mind it when these people consider me no longer worth keeping in their circle of friends. I understand that.

It's when the people I've known for years and years ghost me that I'm genuinely perplexed. (Fortunately, I no longer lose any sleep at all over the girls I dated who ghosted me. I'm happy to say that that part of my life is over and done with and six feet under.)

Recently, I was saddened to discover a friend I grew up with had severed me as a social media friend. This is someone with whom I grew up in the same ward, went all through elementary and high school, took part in several scouting activities---even someone whose family took me with them on a summer vacation out of state.

This friend and I disagree on a certain political, moral, and cultural issue. I don't know for certain but strongly suspect that this was his friendship dealbreaker.

I am reminded of the words of President John Taylor, who said:

"If there be trouble existing between me and anybody else, I would meet them half way, yes, I would meet them three quarters or even all of the way. I would feel like yielding; I would say, I do not want to quarrel, I want to be a Saint. I have set out for purity, virtue, brotherhood, and for obedience to the laws of God on earth, and for thrones and principalities and dominions in the eternal worlds, and I will not allow such paltry affairs to interfere with my prospects. I am for life, eternal lives and eternal exaltations in the kingdom of God."

In other words, I don't want to lose a friend over a simple disagreement. I am concerned with bigger fish to fry.

Though I wish to lose no friends through my social media posting, I nevertheless will continue to stand up for the things I believe in, things that I feel truly matter to me. Elder Kevin W. Pearson of the Seventy recently said of social media:

"Much of the content needed for websites and YouTube must come from independent sources ... and individual members of the Church. Your voices must be heard on social media, wherever you live.

"We must be a voice for truth. We must have the faith and courage to speak up and engage in social media in a positive, responsible, noncontentious and effective way. We can simply share what we know and believe with others" (emphasis added).

Admittedly, I am still figuring out the best ways to share things non-contentiously and effectively. I sometimes make mistakes. I realize I have not always picked and chosen my battles wisely, but I'm trying to do better at that and will continue to do so in the future. If we disagree on anything at any time, it's not personal, and it never will be. I will not ghost you for any reason, nor will I fail to hit my brakes if I see you crossing the street.

I'm also reminded at this moment that the aforementioned friend I've spoken of in this post is an exception to the rule; the vast majority still remain my friends regardless of our differences. If you're reading this, then congratulations, you're one of the ones who has stuck with me through thick and thin. I'm grateful for each of you.

And, by the way, your Halloween pictures and stories are awesome. Keep up the great work.

Conference Breakfast/October 2018

Over the weekend, we gathered around our TV sets, along with millions of other members of the Church, for our biannual general conference. As has been tradition for the past several years, we gathered at Mom's house Sunday morning for our family conference breakfast, which included breakfast casserole, pancakes, bacon, strawberries, and other goodies.

After breakfast, we watched the Sunday morning session of conference together, enjoying the opportunity to hear from our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, as well as some of the Apostles and other general authorities.

McKenna and Graham spent some time drawing as we listened.

This is how we roll. And we always have a great time together.

Adversity

JB and I spoke in our ward's sacrament meeting earlier today. This is what I spoke on:

Good morning, brothers and sisters. I am grateful for this opportunity Jana and I have been given to speak to you today. We are so grateful for the outpouring of love and fellowship we’ve felt here since we moved in to the Stone Creek Ward five months ago.

Up until we joined this ward, I’d spent the vast majority of my adult post-mission life in singles wards. So, serving as a Webelos leader is something very new for me. I’m 42 years old, and she has been . . . let’s say 29 for a few birthdays now. We’re a bit older than most newlyweds.

Jana and I met a few years ago in our mid-singles ward, the Bountiful 8^th Ward, after it was organized in 2014. For those for whom the term mid-singles ward might sound made up: It’s a real thing for singles ages 31 through 45. Ours covered a large area, from North Salt Lake and Woods Cross up through Kaysville. Some call it the “Island of Misfit Toys,” though I like to think of it as the “remedial” singles ward. After we first met, Jana and I went on a handful of dates. It took a few years after that for me to get my head screwed on straight and to ask her out again, and after 16 months of dating and engagement, we were sealed in the Bountiful temple in April.

My topic today is adversity. When we think of adversity, we don’t have to look very far to see it all around us. We just have to step outside right now and see the smoke in the air to be reminded that firefighters in our state are currently battling some very devastating fires. We merely have to turn on the news to see images of widespread destruction caused by hurricanes, monsoons, earthquakes, and other natural disasters, “wars and rumors of wars” (Matthew 24:6), famine, shootings, domestic violence, and a number of other troubles. In addition to these troubles are the challenges of chronic physical and mental pain and illness, injury, disability, job loss, poverty, and the death of our loved ones.

For many of the people in the ward where Jana and I met, adversity comes in the form of loneliness for those remaining single into their 30s and 40s—and beyond. Sister Wendy Watson Nelson, for example, did not marry until much later in her life. There are some of ours who, sadly, may never marry in this lifetime. Still others who have married have endured the pain of the death of a spouse, infertility, wayward children, and other difficulties.’’

We live very much in a day and time when Paul prophesied: “In the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.” Later in this chapter, Paul adds: “All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 12).

It has always been this way for us in this mortal sphere. President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, pain and comforts, ease and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments; and we knew also that we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. … We were willing to come and take life as it came” (Improvement Era, Mar. 1996, 217).

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles also taught: “The scriptures teach that ‘there is … opposition in all things’ (2 Ne. 2:11). Just as times of joy and happiness come to each of us, so also comes pain to every mortal. How can we understand those moments in our life when we experience physical or emotional pain? …

“I have come to understand how useless it is to dwell on the whys, what ifs, and if onlys for which there likely will be given no answers in mortality. To receive the Lord’s comfort, we must exercise faith. The questions Why me? Why our family? Why now? are usually unanswerable questions. These questions detract from our spirituality and can destroy our faith. We need to spend our time and energy building our faith by turning to the Lord and asking for strength to overcome the pains and trials of this world and to endure to the end for greater understanding” (“Healing Soul and Body,” October 1998 general conference).

In my preparation for this talk, and through studying the words and teaching of both ancient and modern prophets, I have come up with a list of four important concepts I have learned through adversity.

The first item on this list is the vital importance of keeping God’s commandments. I think it’s important to note that there is often a difference between trials and the consequences of our sins. Others’ misuse of agency may harm us. And when we sin, misusing our own agency, we must also face the consequences of those actions, becoming our own “worst enemy” or source of adversity.

In the most recent Face to Face broadcast, Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles talked about adversity and said: “Some of that (comes) because there’s agency and some of that because there’s adversary.”

King Benjamin teaches: “The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19).

Because Christ has already suffered for our sins, we do not have to suffer for them if we will turn from the natural man to Him and repent through His Atonement. Speaking of Christ, Paul tells us in the Epistle to the Hebrews: “Though he were a Son, yet he learned obedience by the things which he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). We must learn to do the same.

President Henry B. Eyring spoke to our duty when it comes to obedience. He said: “The great test of life is to see whether we will hearken to and obey God’s commands in the midst of the storms of life. It is not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage” (“Spiritual Preparedness: Start Early and Be Steady,” October 2005 general conference).

It’s not possible to fully avoid adversity in this life, but we can still avoid a number of troubles by obeying gospel laws.

Second: Through adversity, we are given opportunities to grow spiritually. Trials help us to learn just what we are made of; they stretch and mold us into the kind of person Heavenly Father would like us to become.

Mother Theresa said: “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”

Toward the end of the “War Chapters” in the Book of Mormon, Mormon tells us: “Because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility” (Alma 62:41).

These Saints had endured the same trial together; and while some had grown bitter, others had grown better.

Another scriptural example that comes to my mind is that of Abraham. At a very old age, he and Sarah were finally blessed with Isaac, a son born in the covenant. And yet, in what was most imaginably gut-wrenching to Abraham, he was commanded to offer up this son as a sacrifice in a test of his faith. Well, we all know what happened. Abraham and Isaac both obeyed; and at the last moment, an angel intervened to save Isaac’s life.

BYU Professor Truman G. Madsen wrote about a time when he was with President Hugh B. Brown of the First Presidency in Hebron, near Abraham’s tomb:

“I (asked President Brown), ‘Why ... was Abraham commanded to go to Mount Moriah and offer his only hope of posterity?’

“It was clear that this man, nearly ninety, had thought and prayed and wept over that question before. He finally said, ‘Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham’” (Five Classics by Truman G. Madsen [2001], 232).

Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, was imprisoned in Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Even under such wretched conditions, he later wrote that people could nevertheless still decide what their attitudes would be: “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Thirdly, adversity gives us an opportunity to serve and minister to our fellow man.

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior taught: “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

Whenever and wherever a natural disaster occurs, members of the Church are always among the first ones there to help. A few years ago, following a hurricane in the Southern states, I remember reading about a cleanup effort the Church had headed. One very grateful woman was quoted as saying that she was especially grateful to two groups in particular for their help: the Latter-day Saints and the Mormons.

I very much feel for those who have been affected by Hurricane Florence recently, because I have been where they’ve been. When I was 13 years old, my family and I lived in Puerto Rico, where we weathered one of the worst storms ever to occur to that date. (Last year’s Hurricane Maria was much worse.)

Hurricane Hugo pummeled our island, and it went on to destroy other areas of the Caribbean and southeastern United States. Following the widespread destruction, we surveyed the damage, and it was extensive. It was at this time that I gained a testimony of the importance of heeding the prophets’ counsel to store a year-long supply of food, clean water, batteries, and other necessities, because we would desperately need them in the ensuing weeks.

What good can come of such a catastrophe? On the surface, it’s hard to say. The lives lost can’t be restored nor the extensive damage undone. But to give one example, I recall a cleanup service project I took part in with the youth in my ward. We went to a nearby park to clean up and carry away the fallen branches and leaves, to mow the grass, and other tasks. As we worked, residents of this neighborhood, most likely none of whom were of our faith, noticed what we were doing, and a few came out to help us. A few others brought us soda and snacks. They learned we were there representing our Church. It may have been the first contact with the Church they’d had in their lives, and we hoped it was a positive one. It certainly was a memorable one for me.

We have multiple opportunities to help bear each other’s burdens here, today, in Bountiful, Utah. There is much of pain and suffering that we can help alleviate when we look at those in need here in our neighborhoods and communities, at our workplaces, in our families, and in our very own homes. There are numerous chances to find those we can serve as we seek for and follow promptings through the Holy Ghost.

Fourth: Enduring adversity helps us to develop Christlike qualities of love, compassion, and empathy for others.

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey tells the story of being on a train one day, where he found himself annoyed by two very noisy kids causing a disturbance to everyone around them. He noticed that the father was doing nothing about them. After a moment of restraint, he approached the father. Here’s Dr. Covey’s account of what happened next:

“Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?

“The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, ‘Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.’

“Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. Everything changed in an instant.”

Along these same lines, President Eyring shared what he said was some of the best advice he’d ever been given: “When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time” (“In the Strength of the Lord,” April 2004 general conference).

Or, in the words of one of my favorite hymns of the Church: “In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eyes can’t see” (Hymns, no. 220, “Lord, I Would Follow Thee”).

A few years ago, while I was looking for a new place to live, I had a few leads to move in with some friends; and yet I had the distinct impression I needed to move back in with my parents for a short while. It was not long after this that I learned one big reason, perhaps, I may have felt this impression: My father was diagnosed with dementia. It was astonishing to observe how quickly this illness took its toll on both his mind and on his body. Over the ensuing 18 months, I learned a great deal about patience, charity, and humility as I watched him suffer.

In the process, I was given a great gift: this small window of precious time, time I now look back upon as sacred, to give back to my father some of what he had given me all of my life before then. It was in simple things like driving him to get his hair cut or taking him out to lunch. It was mostly through just spending time sitting by him and talking to him as we watched sports on TV.

It’s been said that the only two guarantees in life are death and taxes. Well, after enduring his illness as well as anyone could have, Dad died on April 15 last year. On that final day of his mortal life, I was granted one additional blessing—a tender mercy to me—in the form of a spiritual prompting. By this point, Dad’s motor skills had deteriorated to the point he could not even walk around on his own, and we were forced to put him in a home where he could be cared for. He would be there for just nine days.

The next day was Easter, so my thought initially was to buy him some Easter candy that Saturday and then to bring it to him on Easter Sunday, when I could spend more time with him. Instead, the prompting was to go and see him that afternoon and not to delay. For one last moment, I got to visit with Dad, to embrace him and to tell him one last time that I love him. Jana and I had just begun dating at this time, and she felt the same prompting.

Just a few, short hours later, the phone call came that Dad had been rushed to the hospital in cardiac arrest. By the time we arrived in the emergency room, he was gone. And yet, in the confusion and the chaos, I was at peace. I was comforted. Though I was deeply saddened to lose him, and I still miss him today, I became reacquainted with the Comforter that night and in the days and weeks that would follow.

When my siblings and my mother and I left the hospital, it was past midnight and it had become Easter Sunday. The timing of it all was, in my mind, no coincidence. It was a blessed reminder from a loving Heavenly Father that He is in control. Because of Easter and a loving Savior—“dearly, dearly has he loved!” (Hymns, no. 194, “There Is a Green Hill Far Away”), as we sang in the sacrament hymn—Dad lives on, and I will have the chance to embrace him again.

Perspective is an extraordinary blessing. Elder Orson F. Whitney of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire” (Improvement Era, Mar. 1966, 211).

How grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which encompasses so many griefs and woes and strengthens us to endure the crosses we are called to bear in this life, whichever crosses they may be.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Trying to comprehend the trials and meaning of this life without understanding Heavenly Father’s marvelously encompassing plan of salvation is like trying to understand a three-act play while seeing only the second act. Fortunately, our knowledge of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement helps us to endure our trials and to see purpose in suffering and to trust God for what we cannot comprehend.

“Revealed truths reassure us that we are enclosed in divine empathy. As Enoch witnessed, we worship a God who wept over needless human misery and wickedness (see Moses 7:28-29, 33, 37). Jesus’ perfect empathy was ensured when, along with His Atonement for our sins, He took upon Himself our sicknesses, sorrows, griefs, and infirmities and came to know these ‘according to the flesh’ (Alma 7:11-12). He did this in order that He might be filled with perfect, personal mercy and empathy and thereby know how to succor us in our infirmities. He thus fully comprehends human suffering. Truly Christ ‘descended below all things, in that He comprehended all things’ (D&C 88:6). …

“Part of enduring well consists of being meek enough, amid our suffering, to learn from our relevant experiences. Rather than simply passing through these things, they must pass through us and do so in ways which sanctify these experiences for our good (see D&C 122:7). Thereby, our empathy, too, is enriched and everlasting” (“Enduring Well,” April 1997 general conference).

I add my testimony his. I testify that we have an all-wise, all-knowing, all-loving Savior who shows us how to love as He did. President Russell M. Nelson leads His Church on Earth today. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.