Christmas 2023, Part 2

On Christmas Eve, we gathered for Plowman family dinner at Biz's and Jeff's home in West Bountiful. We had all the fixings for a Christmas dinner, including ham, candied yams, funeral potatoes, charcuterie, meatballs, and other goodies.

Dinner was followed by our annual Christmas story pageant. The niblings enthusiastically dressed up as shepherds, wise men, angels, stable animals, and of course Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. In fact, six-year-old Tanner got a little too into the part of playing the baby, seen here resting (and cooing?) in the lap of his three-year-old sister Sadie, who portrayed Mary:

As always, the kids had a wonderful time taking part. As part of the pageant, we continued the family tradition of listening to Dad's recording of the Christmas story as found in chapter of the gospel of St. Luke.

Perhaps we began a new tradition by also playing a recording of Mom reading The Monster at the End of This Book, a family favorite since my siblings and I were very young, while Biz turned the pages in the story. We collectively felt her loss rather acutely during this holiday season and on this particular night, too, but I think this moment helped many of us to feel she wasn't really that far away from us.

In fact, it gives me a great deal of comfort to think that if she weren't already one of the angels who sang at the birth of the Christ child 2,000+ years ago that she is one of those angels singing His praises now.

Next came the exchanging of gifts. The niblings drew names from a hat to purchase gifts for each other, while my siblings and I did the same for each couple in the family. This way, everybody got to open at least one thing. Sadie was especially grateful for and protective of her Frozen action figure set:

Then followed a few family games, including a new one, "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Cup," that Biz borrowed from the Johnson Files, one of our favorite Instagram accounts. You had to be there to grasp what exactly this involved—but it was fun for all who played.

Christmas Day was, well, a rather lazy day at our house. Santa Claus came and left goodies, and JB and I exchanged gifts, too. My wife is very thoughtful when it comes to this sort of thing. One of my favorite presents was this T-shirt, based on The Lord of the Rings book/film series:

Hopefully, your Christmas was a good one spent with your own loved ones, too. If not, here's hoping for better times ahead and a better year for us all in 2024.

Humbled or Hardened?

I was recently asked to write an article for the ward newsletter. (Published again! W00t!) Below is the text from my article:

The "war chapters" of the Book of Mormon cover approximately 20 chapters, from Alma 43 through 62. In his account, Mormon takes us through a long, grueling experience for the Nephites as they endure years of hardship and sacrifice. In battle, they and their loved ones are wounded or killed. The people themselves suffer through hunger and sedition within the government. By the conclusion of this terrible war, everyone is understandably exhausted.

At this point, Mormon tells us that "because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility" (Alma 62:41).

These people have been through the same experience together. Yet there are two very opposite effects on those who have lived through it. What is the difference between those who have become "hardened" and those who have humbled themselves? Ultimately, it is their attitude.

Not long ago, I read through these chapters in my personal scripture study. I couldn't help but think of the COVID-19 pandemic we've all endured together these past few years. When I came to verse 41, I replaced the word war in my mind with the term pandemic.

"Because of the exceedingly great length of the [pandemic] many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the [pandemic]; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility" (Alma 62:41).

Just like the Nephites, we determine our reaction to adversity through our attitude. Will we become hardened by our challenges? Or will we choose to be more humble?

As I've had the opportunity to visit with our ward members, I have learned so much. I have observed that you face a wide array of challenges. Again and again, you have chosen humility over hardness. I'm in constant awe, inspired by the depth of your character and strength. You also strive to take care of each other. Like the people of Alma the Elder at the waters of Mormon, you witness that you "are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in" (Mosiah 18:9).

In return, our Father in Heaven promises that He will "pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon [us]" (Mosiah 18:10).

May we each strive to choose humility through our challenges. "And while [we] strive through grief and pain, His voice is heard: '[We] shall obtain'" (Hymns, no. 134). 

Heavy Hands

I was asked to speak in my ward's sacrament meeting today. Below is the text of my talk.

Good afternoon, brothers and sisters. I am grateful for this opportunity to share a few thoughts with you today. I am also grateful for your sustaining vote a month ago when we were called to serve together as a bishopric.

To be honest, I’m still not quite sure how I got here. Serving in this calling wasn’t remotely in my plans, ever. Some of you already know that I perform improv on the weekends, and in improv theater, you are trained to react and respond to the unexpected. But nothing could possibly have prepared me for this.

 

It was President J. Reuben Clark Jr. who taught: “In the service of the Lord, it is not where you serve but how. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one takes the place to which one is duly called, which place one neither seeks nor declines” (in Conference Report, April 1951, p. 154).

 

Since it is our course of study this year in Sunday School, I’ve been reading the Old Testament. I was reading the book of Exodus recently when I came across the following passage in Chapter 17. At this point in time, the house of Israel have just escaped Egypt, and they come up against their first foe in their journey to the promised land.

 

“Then came Amalek, and fought with Israel in Rephidim.

“And Moses said unto Joshua, Choose us out men, and go out, fight with Amalek: to morrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in mine hand.

“So Joshua did as Moses had said to him, and fought with Amalek: and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill.

“And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed.

“But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

“And Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.”

 (Exodus 17:8-13)

Joshua not only “fit the battle of Jericho” but this one, too! I find the symbolism here very powerful. Moses’ hands were “heavy.” I wonder if they were heavy for him not only in the physical but also the spiritual sense. Aaron and Hur were there to “stay up his hands,” or to hold them up when Moses could no longer do so on his own power. In many ways, I see this as the role of a counselor in Church service.

As a Church, we have a prophet whose hands are “stayed up” by two counselors, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and other auxiliary leaders. Our stake president, likewise, has counselors and secretaries. At the ward level, the bishop, as well as elders quorum, Relief Society, Sunday School, Primary, and other presidents all have counselors and secretaries to sustain them in their service. It’s a wonderful structure.

Returning to Exodus, we read more about Moses and his prophetic duties in Chapter 18:

“And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses sat to judge the people: and the people stood by Moses from the morning unto the evening.

“And when Moses’ father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even?

“And Moses said unto his father in law, Because the people come unto me to inquire of God:

“When they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws.
“And Moses’ father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good.

“Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.

“Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to God-ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God:

“And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do.

“Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens:

“And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.

“If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace.

“So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said.

“And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people, rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens.

“And they judged the people at all seasons: the hard causes they brought unto Moses, but every small matter they judged themselves.”

(Exodus 18:13-26)

Once again, Moses is weary, and the burden is “heavy.” He has to deal with the children of Israel and their frequent complaining and rebellion for 40 years as they wander in the wilderness. He feels this burden deeply because he has been doing it alone. Then, his father-in-law Jethro comes up with this idea to delegate some of his responsibilities to people he can trust.

The organization of the Church today is not too different from this plan. Our Moses is, of course, President Russell M. Nelson. As rulers over thousands, we have our stake presidency. A bishop serves as a ruler over hundreds. As rulers over 50, there are elders quorum and Relief Society presidencies. For rulers over tens, all the way down to and including families of three, two, or one, we have ministering assignments so that we may assist our ward, stake, and Church in the work of perfecting the Saints.

As I look around this room and also think of those who may be watching us today on YouTube, I try to empathize with the heavy burdens you face. Your challenges are many. These challenges are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. There are those who are frustrated, depressed, those who are weighed down and who grieve. There are those who have not been physically present with us for months or years because of illness or age or even doubts about what they truly believe. There is a place for each of you in the Church but also, more specifically, here in our ward.

The question I find myself wondering lately is, “How can we better sustain you?” There are other hands that need to be raised up, and they are “the hands which hang down” (Hebrews 12:12; D&C 81:5), as we read in the scriptures. After all, we raise our hands to sustain new memberships as they are read into the ward. This is not a one-time action. We must continually be vigilant for those around us who may be in need of our help.

President Henry B. Eyring said:

“Many years ago, I was first counselor to a district president in the eastern United States. More than once, as we were driving to our little branches, he said to me, ‘Hal, when you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.’ Not only was he right, but I have learned over the years that he was too low in his estimate” (“Try, Try, Try,” October 2018 general conference).

We recently studied the prophet Elijah in Come, Follow Me. He is one of my favorite prophets of the Bible. Following his confrontation with the priests of Baal, when he called down fire from heaven, Jezebel the queen was furious and sought to have Elijah killed. It is at this point that we read about the tremendous toll this had taken on this man of God:

“(Elijah) went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

“And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.

“And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.

“And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.

“And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights.”

 (1 Kings 19:4-8)

From this story, I learn two things. First of all, a nap and a snack can lighten your mood! But seriously, and more importantly, I was stunned to learn that even a great man such as Elijah, one of the most prominent prophets in the scriptures, had been depressed to the point of just wanting to die. But he recovered. An angel intervened to save his life.

While our Heavenly Father indeed still sends angels to the Earth, I feel that most of the time we are the ones who are meant to act in the stead of angels to serve those around us.

Ministering may look like different things to different people. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. We can minister with a short visit, or dropping off a treat or a note, or even a simple text message, depending on the needs of those we minister to. As we minister, we not only bless others but are ourselves blessed through our efforts.

President Lorenzo Snow said, “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated” (in Conference Report, April 1899, pp. 2-3).

Camilla Kimball, the wife of President Spencer W. Kimball, said, “Never suppress a generous thought.” My wife, Jana, and I love this motto and have tried to employ it as we seek inspiration to serve those around us. Jana has been a great example to me of following this counsel. Just last week, she baked several loaves of banana bread; then I drove while she delivered them to numerous neighbors. I’ve also seen numerous good examples of generosity and service in this ward, particularly during the pandemic when we weren’t able to meet face to face for a long time.

Personally, I’ve been blessed countless times by people who have ministered unselfishly. I was 42 years old when Jana and I married; her age at the time is still unknown. Prior to that, I spent the majority of my adult life as a single member of the Church, including many years in which I feel like I stood out like a sore thumb in family wards. Fortunately, two bishops in two of my wards in particular took an active interest in me, befriended me, and regularly checked in with me during difficult health challenges and other trials. One of my home teachers took me out to lunch each month for his visits. I remember a very cold, 10-degree day when he answered a distress call from me and showed up to change a flat tire on my car when I had injured my shoulder and couldn’t do it myself. These people truly ministered to me, as did others.

I want you to know that in the month I’ve been able to work with Bishop LeVitre and Brother Padilla that their hearts are pure. They genuinely care about each of you and wish to help relieve your burdens, and we pray for you by name. Their callings are truly inspired, and I am grateful for the opportunity to serve with him. I am anxious to get to know more of you, to listen to and learn from you, and to serve you in any way I can.

I know that our Heavenly Father loves us perfectly, and that is why He sent His Beloved Son, who likewise has loved us perfectly through His Atonement. I know that Russell M. Nelson is a prophet of God. Though the world is in commotion, he looks optimistically to the future. I also know that Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God, that he saw the Father and the Son, as he testified. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Our Dinner with Danny and Tanner

So ... we like to eat dinner. That is convenient, as many of our family members and friends do, too. And even in times of pandemic and social distancing, we are able to get out of the house once in a while to break bread with some of these people.

Steve and Summer recently invited us over to their home in North Salt Lake on a Sunday evening for a delicious dinner consisting of baked salmon and mixed vegetables. My amazing wife made alfajores, one of my favorite pastries from Peru, and in my unbiased opinion, she knocked it out of the park with them. (Summer served her mission in Argentina and was also familiar with this dessert.)

Dinner also came with a show. Five-year-old Danny put in a Living Scriptures videotape (yes, VHS tape; we'll soon be taking it on an episode of "Antiques Roadshow" for appraisal) of the angel Moroni appearing to 17-year-old Joseph Smith and instructing him about the golden plates and where they were buried. Coincidentally, this same event was also partly included in our Gospel Doctrine study of the Doctrine and Covenants and Church history earlier in the day.

Afterward, Danny dressed himself up as the angel Moroni and wanted to re-create Moroni's appearance to Joseph.

We were happy to oblige. His three-year-old brother Tanner wanted to join in the fun, and soon everyone took a turn either dressing up as Moroni or pretending to be Joseph and finding the hidden "golden plates," stashed in various locations around the house.

They're teaching these kids well. We are really grateful to be their uncle and aunt and to also have shared part of our time with our youngest niece, nine-month-old Sadie.

Christmas 2020

In spite of covid's plans (and a hillion jillion other things that could've gone wrong, this being 2020), we still observed Christmas this year.

Our sister-in-law Alice recently took some pics of JB, Leia, and me at Creekside Park. (In case you happen to be in that neck of the woods, it's a beautiful, still very new little park just south of the Bountiful High School campus). This is how our annual family Christmas card turned out:

There was no in-person Christmas gathering with my in-laws in Grantsville, though we did meet up briefly over Zoom on Christmas Day. We did, however, trek out there Wednesday to spend the afternoon with JB's parents.

Leia was grateful for the extra attention:

On my side of the family, we were still able to get together on Christmas Eve, though we had to make sure everyone sat apart, everyone wore masks, and no food was served or eaten to avoid any possible spread of planet Earth's favorite pandemic.

Biz once again put together the Christmas program, which included a number of well-placed scriptures, Christmas hymns, and a recording of Dad narrating Chapter 2 of the Gospel of St. Luke.

This was followed by presents/pandemonium. Many of Mom's youngest grandkids received Spider-Man pajamas. When they put on their PJs, it looked something like this:

This reminded the grown-ups a little bit of the classic meme of multiple versions of Spider-Man pointing at each other. So, we re-created it with the kids:

The kids were perhaps most excited to spend Christmas Eve with their oldest male cousin Dallin for the first time since 2017 (before he left on his mission). A significant portion of the night passed with Dallin good naturedly wrestling with them, which looked a lot like this at certain intervals:

Then on Saturday (Boxing Day), we had another family Zoom meeting, this time with many of our British cousins in England joining in on the call. It was wonderful to reconnect with so many of them, including Brian, Denis, Linda, Lynn, and their spouses/kids/grandkids.

Thus concluded our celebration of my favorite holiday of the year. Currently, it's 362 days till next Christmas. The countdown has already begun.

Timing: Four Years Later

About four years ago, when I was still stranded on the Island of Misfit Toys, one of the counselors in the bishopric called me to be the ward Sunday School president. The only thing is ... life got in the way. I was in the middle of some serious health problems, and I was unable to accept the calling.

If any of this sounds familiar, it's because I actually blogged about this experience here on Paco Nation. If you have a few more minutes to kill, you can read all about it here.

The point of this is not to rehash said experience; it's, in fact, to relate the fact that there is ... a little bit more to the story.

Bro. Hill assured me back then that the calling was always right; the timing perhaps wasn't. As of just a few months ago, it turns out that he was 100 percent correct. Whatever the timing may have been on it, the bishop recently called yours truly to be the new ward Sunday School president.

I have held a lot of callings and have served in a lot of Church positions over the years, but I haven't been a president of anything since I was a deacons quorum president over 30 years ago. (Yes, Paco is getting old. Don't look so shocked, in spite of his baby face.)

This is somewhat unfamiliar territory for me, but it's been great. I have wonderful counselors and a secretary to help me. Beyond that, I'm just sort of showing up and figuring out the rest. It's an exciting time to be involved with the Sunday School program and to see how the Come, Follow Me program is blessing families and individuals in our ward. I also get to go to ward council meetings every Sunday morning for a half-hour to try to feel useful.

This experience was a gentle reminder from a loving Heavenly Father that His promises do come to pass and that His chosen servants are truly inspired, both at the worldwide level as well as the local/ward level. I can't wait to see what else the future may hold.

2020 Vision

For one of my first clichéd and/or peer-inspired posts of the year 2020, here's one about goals.

The end of a calendar year/start of a new one is a good time for assessment of where one has been and where one is going. It must be, I guess, because I've been seeing a lot of "decade-in-review" posts by family and friends on social media lately. (These are great, by the way.)

As for me: It was just a few, short years ago that my life was a bit of a country song, minus the obsession with beer and dirty boots. I was living in the basement at my brother's house. I had a job but was somewhat underemployed; probably not coincidentally, I was in some degree of debt. My car was on its last legs and would soon die forever. I was active in my LDS singles (social) group, and though I wasn't technically inactive in the ward where I attended church, I was going through a period of time when I was less involved in my discipleship than I had been at better times. I was also in my 30s and was frustrated and despondent after decades of dating, which seemed to have led to only futility.

In short, I wasn't happy with a lot of things. This brother of mine cared enough about me to sit down with me and ask me how I felt about these matters, and also what I wanted to do about changing them.

With his help, I set some goals: Get a full-time job. Simultaneously, save money/get out of debt/get a better car. Move out into an apartment or home. Recommit to attending all of my Sunday meetings, and actually serve in my ward calling instead of just being there. Be worthy of a temple recommend, and use it. Oh yeah---get married. (I used to lose sleep over this last one, because it's just about the hardest one of all; you can't reach this goal on your own!)

It wasn't enough to set these goals (some of which took months to complete, while others took years); I also set weekly and daily goals (spending a certain amount of time daily and weekly job searching and interviewing, for example) to make them happen. My brother then followed up with me as those days and weeks went by.

Not too long ago, I spent some one-on-one time with this brother, who brought up the goals and reminded me that I had achieved every one of them.

I have been working full-time for a number of years now. I have been out of debt for over four years, and I bought a new (used) car. I rarely use a credit card and try to pay cash/use debit for things when and wherever possible (I highly recommend this). By recommitting myself to fully participate in my church meetings, I met my wife in the new singles ward I joined, and we were sealed in the temple. We are both active in our current ward and love serving and being served by the good people in it. We share a wonderful home together, which we are currently in the process of remodeling and furnishing.

Perhaps I have a friend or friends reading this who are wondering something like, Well, that's all well and good for you, but I'm never going to find (job) or (wife/husband) or (fill in the blank). I'm tired of giving and giving and failing every time, and I don't want to give any more. To that I say, I understand, because I've been where you've been. I was that way for a long time. To a large degree, I now understand that it was negative thought patterns of depression that caused me to feel and think that way.

It was a very wise man who taught that "the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself ... and not to be acted upon" (2 Nephi 2:16, 26).

Ultimately, we have to decide to take charge of the things we can control and act for ourselves. That requires a lot of effort, obstacles, failure, trying again, failure, more obstacles, trying again, rinse, and repeat.

When it comes to those d- and m-words (dating and marriage)---those can be some of the toughest and cruelest battles of all. Once again, they require another person's own free will, someone who will choose to want to be you. You can't make people like you (confound that precious free agency!), but you can cultivate your character and do other things to make yourself more likable. Your chances of attracting someone with the same goals also rise significantly if you put yourself in places (cough singles wards cough) to meet such a person. Though you can't control when you'll marry, you can control whether you are worthy to marry in the temple.

Conversely, if you don't put yourself in those kinds of places or stop trying altogether, your chances of being successful in dating plummet significantly. A number of friends my age, I fear, have reached this point or have already been there for years, and my heart breaks for you. If my humble story is worth anything to those friends, I plead with you to do yourself a favor and try again. It is the only way to succeed, even though there are indeed careless people who may yet still toss your heart into a crock pot and slow roast it ... like careless people do.

It's been said that hindsight is 20/20, and to a large extent, I can look back and see now how I was being blessed amid the frustration and the setbacks. I look at those past few years, and they've gone by somewhat quickly in a way. The Lord has promised, "I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them" (D&C 111:11). If I hadn't been ready to move quickly when some of those opportunities came up, I might have missed one or more!

The Gift of Inclusion

A few years ago, my sister had the keen foresight, before Dad's illness, to have him read and record the Christmas story, as found in second chapter of Luke, in a booth at the studio she where worked. Now that he has passed on, being able to listen to him read that story on Christmas Eve has become a pearl of great price for our family as we celebrate the holiday.

There are many important details in the Christmas story. Among them, I find it interesting that the Savior, who would be so sorely rejected by His own people in His earthly ministry, faced rejection on the very night of His birth. It was the infamous innkeeper on that Christmas Eve over 2,000 years ago who found no room for Joseph, Mary, and their soon-to-be-born child in the inn.

In this month's (December 2019) Ensign, the Ministering Principles article is titled "What the Christmas Story Teaches Us about Inclusion." It includes this concept:

"The innkeeper failed to make room for the Savior, but we don't have to make that mistake! We can make room for the Savior in our hearts by making room for our brothers and sisters at our tables, in our homes, and in our traditions. ...

"What better way to celebrate the Savior than to follow His example of inclusion? Remember that He invites 'all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile' (2 Nephi 26:33). Make room and create inclusion."


Recently, I read a number of Dad's old books now sitting on Mom's bookshelves, one of which is Elder Neal A. Maxwell's All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience. In this book, Elder Maxwell teaches the same concept:

"So often what people need is to be sheltered from the storms of life in the sanctuary of belonging. Such a service cannot be rendered by selfish people, however, because the response of the selfish will always be that there is no room in their inn. Chronic self-concern means that the 'No Vacancy' sign is always posted" (p. 55).

Experiences in both my growing up younger years and my adult years have taught me that the gift of including others is indeed a gift of the spirit, and a rare one at that. How few truly possess the ability to lift up the hands that hang low, to include others within their spheres of influence.

Growing up here in Our Lovely Deseret, I found it more common to be excluded than included by my peers. I wish I could say that has changed as an adult, but truth be told, it is not really any different. I look at the past and the present and see far more acquaintances than friends. It is not from a lack of trying. When people and/or groups continually show indifference to your efforts, it ends up not being worth the effort in the long run.

This is not to say I am lonely or entirely without friends. I'm just saying that life's experiences teach you who your friends are, largely by who shows up for things and who wants to be a part of things. The Lord has blessed me with incredible friends. They have been answers to specific prayers.

There will always be those who will exclude, I suppose. For all I know, they will go on excluding into their days in the old folks home. The thing is, I can't do anything about them. People are gonna do what they're gonna do. Their circles will stay the way they have always been.

This Christmas, and going into the new year, I am asking for the gift of inclusion. I am hoping to renew my efforts to minister to those in my family, my neighborhood, my ward, my workplace, and my community. Heaven knows there are those who need it.

Divinely Assigned Guardians

I remember when the Church's Family Proclamation was first announced. It was September 1995, and I had been serving in the mission field in Peru for just over four months. President Gordon B. Hinckley read the document in the women's meeting prior to general conference.

Among other principles, the Proclamation, just the fifth of its kind ever produced by the leaders of the Church, read that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" and "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Our mission president loved every word of it, and so did we. He gave us several copies of it so each companionship in the mission could distribute them to the people with whom we came in contact on a daily basis. It opened a lot of doors for us in our work.

The thing of it is: Everyone we met agreed completely with its teachings and accepted them as universal truths. Nobody had any problem with it, be they members of the Church or non-members.

Flash forward to 2019, not even a quarter of a century later, and we're in a completely different world. Merely repeating the teachings of the Family Proclamation is basically now hate speech and bigotry in the view of many of those in the Great and Spacious Building. I'm disappointed to observe that many of those upset with the Proclamation and the Church's teachings are those who would describe themselves as active members of the Church.

President Dallin H. Oaks speaks on this subject frequently, including at the latest general conference just a few weeks ago. In his latest "controversial" message, "Two Great Commandments," he taught:

"Marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage. ... Eternal life includes the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female."

For those familiar with the doctrine of the Church, there are no new concepts here. And yet the backlash came, almost predictably, of Church members critical of Pres. Oaks and apologizing for the Church, its leaders, and its teachings. I observed a number of these conversations on social media, and when I dared speak in defense of Pres. Oaks, I was told by multiple people I was "behaving reprehensibly," that I was not following my covenants to love others, and worse.

It's almost as if Isaiah foresaw this when he wrote: "For they shall be ashamed of the oaks" (Isaiah 1:29).

A friend of mine---one who, like me, sustains Pres. Oaks---wrote: "I believe Pres. Oaks has chosen to follow the example of Abinadi, being a willing sacrifice, laying his life and reputation on the altar for the cause of truth, taking the heat (pun intended) for unapologetically declaring the truth to a hard-hearted people."

It's hard for me to disagree. I recently re-read Abinadi's words in my own scripture study. A few passages stood out to me:

Abinadi's opponents claimed that "he pretendeth the Lord hath spoken it. ... O king, what great evil hast thou done ... that we should be condemned of God or judged of this man?" (Mosiah 12:12-13).

Abinadi said, "I must fulfil the commandments wherewith God has commanded me; and because I have told you the truth, ye are angry with me. And because I have spoken the word of God ye have judge me that I am mad. ... My words fill you with wonder and amazement, and with anger" (Mosiah 13:4, 8).

Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke prophetically in 1978 when he said:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions (see 1 Kings 18:21). ...

"This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ."

We certainly have arrived at that day and will be there for some time, I think.

Moroni also spoke directly to those of "the holy church of God": "Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies---because of the praise of the world?" (Mormon 8:38).

I suppose Pres. Oaks keeps speaking on this topic because people aren't getting the message. The number of those murmuring about it speak to this. I suspect he will continue to speak on it for the same reason.

"They did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them" (1 Nephi 2:12).

It's clear to me how the two great commandments work together: You must love others while simultaneously upholding the truths contained in the scriptures and taught by the modern prophets. You don't have to choose only one or the other, in spite of what the world teaches.

In his talk, Pres. Oaks spelled it out, and I don't think he could have spoken more plainly: We will all inherit a kingdom of glory, but only those who will strive to keep all of the commandments will inherit the highest, which is exaltation with our Heavenly Father. Teaching the true nature of those commandments and inviting others to inherit this kingdom is an act of great love, not of condemnation. Conversely, knowing the true path while also teaching others that remaining on a path that leads to lesser things is an acceptable option seems like an act of betrayal.

I realize that there are strong feelings about this topic. But I also believe there is a way for every son and daughter of God to obey this and every other commandment that has been given (see 1 Nephi 3:7). I believe a loving, wise Heavenly Father can and will provide a way for all who wish to find it.

I also find it significant that both the initial announcement of the Family Proclamation and President Oaks's latest talk on the subject occurred in the women's session of general conference. When Pres. Oaks mentioned the "divinely assigned guardians of the eternal family," he was speaking to the women of the Church. In a world that will teach the next generation, including my nieces and nephews, the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture, I will point them toward God's truth and not the world's counterfeits for it.

"Notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God" (Moroni 9:6).

Finding Nepo

As a joke, or maybe because she was in one of those moods, JB selected one of my Christmas playlists the other day when we were headed somewhere in my car. I'm great with that, though. I love Christmas time and Christmas music, and I also believe in the concept of celebrating Christmas in July, as some are wont to do.

Incidentally, JB and I began dating at Christmas time. (We are now closer to next Christmas than we are time-wise from last Christmas ... so, Yay! for that.)

Anyhow, Christmas also came to mind recently because I've been reading through the New Testament, which we've been studying this year in Sunday School. In Luke 2:7, it reads:

"And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn."

I italicize those two words in this well-known verse because this is the part that struck me differently this time through the New Testament: the concept that there was no room for Joseph and Mary and their baby, specifically, whereas there might have been room for other people instead. As in, they weren't good looking enough, or knew the right people, or whatever it may have been.

Upon doing a little research, I found a fascinating talk from then-future Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland, delivered in 1976, in which he said:

"One impression which has persisted with me recently is that this is a story---in profound paradox with our own times---that this is a story of intense poverty. I wonder if Luke did not have some special meaning when he wrote not 'there was no room in the inn' but specifically that there was no room for them in the inn.' (Luke 2:7; italics added.) We cannot be certain, but it is my guess that money could talk in those days as well as in our own. I think if Joseph and Mary had been people of influence or means, they would have found lodging even at that busy time of year.

"I have wondered if the Inspired Version also was suggesting they did not know the 'right people' in saying, 'There was none to give room for them in the inns.' (JST, Luke 2:7.)"

Here comes my segue, and hopefully somewhere my point: I despise nepotism, i.e. the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs. I have encountered nepotism in every single place I have worked---and I can't think of a single exception. Having a friend in a high place, so to speak, has opened a window for me a couple of times; but never at the expense of someone else who deserved it. Nepotism has also burned me badly. Without going into details or dwelling too much on those instances, I have been passed up for promotions or jobs because others knew somebody and pulled those strings.

Odds are, so have you. You and I know that those wounds can cut deeply.

This is just to say that, considering all of the trials, difficulties, illnesses, and problems of ours that the Savior is able to comprehend, being treated poorly because of nepotism is among them, because He lived it. He understands, and He is able to take away that pain. I take great comfort in knowing that. It helps me to move forward.

By Love Unfeigned

In the April 2014 general conference, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave one of my favorite talks of the last decade, "The Cost---and Blessings---of Discipleship." In this message, speaking to the youth of the Church, he said:

"You may wonder if it is worth it to take a courageous moral stand in high school or to go on a mission only to have your most cherished beliefs reviled or strive against much in society that sometimes ridicules a life of religious devotion. Yes, it is worth it, because the alternative is to have our 'houses' left unto us 'desolate'---desolate individuals, desolate families, desolate neighborhoods, and desolate nations."

Though no longer a youth of the Church, I still took this challenge personally. This is my motivation behind why I post a lot of things I post on social media; because there are a lot of "false and vain and foolish doctrines" all around us to lead people astray, just as Nephi prophesied (2 Nephi 28:9) If we don't teach the truth to others and to the next generation, the wolves in sheep's clothing will teach them their dogma in its place.

Elder Holland later concluded his talk with the admonition:

"Be strong. Live the gospel faithfully even if others around you don't live it at all. Defend your beliefs with courtesy and compassion, but defend them."

And therein lies the great challenge---defending our beliefs, but "with courtesy and compassion."

I haven't always been successful at this in my social media experience. It's caused me to lose sleep on more than one occasion after a discussion turned contentious.

The thing of it is: No one was ever won over to a cause by an argument, anger, or contention.

In the Doctrine and Covenants, we are taught:

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virture of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

"By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile---

"Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

"That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

"Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

"The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever" (D&C 121:41-46; emphasis added).

As in so many other things, the gospel and the scriptures show us how to treat others and to love our fellow men.

The only point in my life in which I consistently was been able to see people change was through these very principles and it was, of course, the two years of my Church mission. On a regular basis, I got to help others feel the Spirit, identify His presence and witness, and then invite them to make very significant changes in their lives. Though many did not ultimately make these changes, even after feeling this powerful witness, some did---and miracles came as a result.

The Spirit and the truth did this; I didn't. I was just the messenger. As Paul said: "I have planted ... but God gave the increase" (1 Cor. 3:6).

If there are any who are reading this with whom I've had a disagreement at any point, I'm sorry. I was not my best self then. I'm still not, but I'm working to be a better self every day, even as I make mistakes. Odds are, so are you.

The gospel means everything to me, and I have a lot of opinions both about that and about current affairs that you'll see from time to time if we're connected on social media. Friendship also means a great deal to me. And, fortunately, having beliefs/opinions and friends with whom you disagree on some issues is not a mutually exclusive choice.

An added bonus: There is the option on many social media sites to hide certain posts from those people that are bound and determined to argue no matter what (while still letting them see other posts), even if you simply post something as horrifying as, say, "The sky is a beautiful blue today!" (They'll find a way somehow---trust me.) The importance of this option cannot be understated.

The Parable of the Worms

We've been enjoying the new Church's new Come, Follow Me program so far this year as we've been studying the scriptures and, in particular, the New Testament. Recently, one of the topics we discussed was the parables of Jesus---the parable of the talents, the ten virgins, the sower, and so forth.

One of the study questions/ideas from this lesson was to come up with a parable of your own, using modern metaphors. At that moment, I couldn't think of one. But upon going outside later that morning and walking through the pouring rain, a parable became apparent before my very eyes.

It is simply this: The adversary uses things that, on the surface, look very appealing and attractive. Once he's drawn us to the surface by these superficial things, like the worm, he crushes us or steps on us or runs over us with cars or does any number of a horrible other things that can be done to worms in the rain.

So, there's my parable.

Rationalization and Other Made-Up Stuff

Recently, I watched an old favorite film, Back to the Future. I listened to the commentary this time through, learning in the process what is perhaps not really all-that-secret of a Hollywood secret: Filmmakers make up a lot of stuff.

One of the filmmakers said that when it comes to science fiction movie plots, there's always a bit of actual science thrown in with a lot of made-up stuff. The flux capacitor, for example, is (gasp!) made-up science.

It can go the same way with religion. Throwing in a bit of actual doctrine together with made-up stuff comes in the form of rationalization.

In one of my favorite talks of the latest general conference, Elder Neil L. Andersen spoke on this topic:

"In today's world, the question 'What is truth?' can be painfully complex to the secular mind. ...

"Caught in today's confusion, it is no wonder that so many consign themselves to the words spoken 2,500 years ago by Protagoras to the young Socrates: 'What is true for you,' he said, 'is true for you, and what is true for me, is true for me.'"

This reminds me of one of the phrase "I'm just living my truth," which you see a lot in social media and in the culture right now. The thing is, there is no such thing as "your" truth. There is the truth, which exists independent of your opinion, and then there is your opinion, and the two do not always meet.

John Adams said: "The truth is always the truth, in spite of our feelings."

Elder Andersen continues:

"In opposition to the truths of eternity, there always have been counterfeits to distract God's children from the truth. The arguments of the adversary are always the same. Listen to these, voiced 2,000 years ago:

"'[You] cannot know of things [you] do not see. ... [Whatever a person does is] no crime.'

"'[God is not blessing you, but] every [person] prosper[s] according to his [own] genius.' (Alma 30:15, 17)

"'It is not reasonable that such a being as ... Christ ... [would] be the Son of God.' (Helaman 16:18)

"'[What you believe is a foolish tradition and a] derangement of your [mind].'" (Alma 30:14, 23, 27)

I am troubled as I see a great deal of this type of rationalization among friends and acquaintances on social media. I've observed multiple friends, including returned missionaries and otherwise faithful Church members most of their lives, let doubts fester and faith decay to the point they leave the Church.

My heart hurts for them. Like Nephi, I am "grieved for the hardness of their hearts" (1 Nephi 7:8). I am saddened for the loss of covenants that would bless their lives and their families' lives in exchange for a road fueled by rationalization that leads only also to anger, bitterness, and cynicism.

In a January CES fireside address, Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke on the snowballing of doubt:

"'Doubt, unless changed into inquiry from reliable, trustworthy sources, has no value or worth. The stagnant doubter, one content with himself, unwilling to make the appropriate effort, to pay the price of divine discovery, inevitably reaches unbelief and darkness. His doubts grow like poisonous mushrooms in the dim shadows of his mental and spiritual chambers. At last, blind like the mole in his burrow, he usually substitutes ridicule for reason, indolence for labor, and becomes a lazy scholar. Doubt is not wrong unless it becomes an end in and of itself. That doubt which feeds and grows upon itself, and breeds more doubt, is evil."

This is not to say that it is wrong to have questions or doubts about doctrine or events in Church history. Everyone does at some point. But if you feed the beast, as the old saying goes, it will come to you every time it's hungry.

Whenever I have a doubt or a question, I think of the many, many times I felt the Spirit burn and testify of the truth of the Restored Church, the Book of Mormon, and other important issues. That knowledge is crucial as I study out issues and work them out through study, prayer, and pondering.

In the same fireside, Sister Ruth Renlund said:

"The blogosphere cannot replace scripture study and reading the words of living prophets and apostles. Foster your faith by going to trustworthy sources to find answers to your questions."

Yes, I realize the irony of sharing that quote in a blog post.

Sister Becky Craven, second counselor in the Young Women general presidency, also spoke on rationalization at general conference:

"Because of our mortal nature, don't we sometimes rationalize our behavior, at time referring to our actions as being in the gray, or mixing good with something that's not so good? Anytime we say, 'however,' 'except,' or 'but' when it applies to following the counsel of our prophet leaders or living the gospel carefully, we are in fact saying, 'That counsel does not apply to me.' We can rationalize all we want, but the fact is, there is not a right way to do the wrong thing!"

In an April 2016 general conference talk, Elder Dallin H. Oaks said that a lot of the rationalization so prevalent in our day not only comes from those who have left but also from those still within the Church:

"The Church in its divine mission and we in our personal lives seem to face increasing opposition today. Perhaps as the Church grows in strength and we members grow in faith and obedience, Satan increases the strength of his opposition so we will continue to have 'opposition in all things.'

"Some of this opposition even comes from Church members. Some who use personal reasoning or wisdom to resist prophetic direction give themselves a label borrowed from elected bodies---'the loyal opposition.'

"[T]he Book of Mormon describes three methods the devil will use in the last days. First, he will 'rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good' (2 Nephi 28:20). Second, he will 'pacify, and lull [members] away into carnal security,' saying 'Zion prospereth, all is well' (verse 21). Third, he will tell us 'there is no hell; and ... I am no devil, for there is none' (verse 22), and therefore there is no right and wrong. Because of this opposition, we are warned not to be 'at ease in Zion!' (verse 24)."

It's a day in which the mobs "(teach) for doctrines the commandments of men" (Matthew 15:9). I'm grateful for the gospel and also for the living prophets, seers, and revelators, who help us to see "things as they really are, and ... things as they really will be" (Jacob 4:7).

Things Both Great and Small

In the October 2001 general conference of the Church, Pres. James E. Faust, second counselor in the First Presidency of the Church, gave a talk titled "Some Great Thing" in which he shared the following:

"We are all familiar with the Old Testament story of Naaman, the captain of the Syrian hosts, who was a leper. A little Israelite servant told Naaman's wife that there was a prophet in Israel who could heal him. Naaman came with his chariot and horses to the house of Elisha, who sent a messenger to instruct Naaman, 'Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean.'

"You younger boys know how it is when you show your hands to your mother: she'll tell you to go and wash! But Naaman was not a young boy. He was the captain of the Syrian hosts, and he was offended by Elisha's instruction to wash in the Jordan. So he 'went away in a rage.' One of Naaman's servants with a wise head remonstrated with him and said: 'If the prophet had bid thee [to] do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?' Naaman then repented and followed the counsel of the prophet. The leprosy disappeared, and 'his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.' 'Some great thing' in this instance was extraordinarily simple and easy to do."

Pres. Faust then went on to say:

"We do not prove our love for the Savior only by doing 'some great thing.' If the prophet personally asked you to go on a mission to some strange and exotic place, would you go? You would probably make every effort to go. But what about paying tithing? What about doing your home teaching? We show our love for the Savior by doing the many small acts of faith, devotion, and kindness to others that define our character."

That talk has stayed with me over the years. It has been on my mind these past few months while I've observed the prophet and other leaders of the Church ask its membership to do some things that ultimately are not that different from what Elisha asked of Naaman.

At the latest general conference in October, for example, Pres. Russell M. Nelson spoke of "The Correct Name of the Church," stressing the importance of using the full name of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when possible and of avoiding the use of the term "Mormon Church."

Reacting to this, one Church member ranted on social media: "This is not the policy change you order up if you're conforming to the modern world. The modern world doesn't like long and gangly names that are confusing and ambiguous. Say 'the Mormons' and everyone knows who you're talking about. Say the now approved 'restored Church of Jesus Christ' and everyone says, 'What?'"

Well, in the first place, the Church has never at any point in its existence been about "conforming to the modern world," nor do I suspect it ever will. (And I thank my Heavenly Father for it!) In fact, I suspect the divide between the Church and the world will only continue to grow farther apart until the Savior comes again. Beyond that issue, however, it seems the point of this clarification (not a "policy change") sailed right over this person's head.

At the same general conference, Pres. Nelson also invited the sisters of the Church to take a 10-day fast from social media. I'm aware of several sisters who did so, including JB. (But I'll let her tell her own story of the things she learned by doing so.) Others, though, did not, and posted on (where else?) social media their reasons for being exempt from this challenge. It was October, once again, and was nearing election time when the prophet spoke on this, and I read the statuses of those who mentioned their need to raise their voices for democracy, smashing the patriarchy, and the like instead.

Speaking of November's election, as a third example of one of those small and simple things, the Utah Area presidency of the Church asked its members to oppose the passage of Proposition 2 in Utah, which was to legalize the use of medical marijuana in the state under certain conditions.

I read in The Salt Lake Tribune (where else?) this hot take at the time:

"The presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (sic) sent out a ... letter requesting that local Utah church leaders encourage THEIR congregations to oppose Prop 2, which would legalize medical marijuana in Utah. Not only does the church have no place inserting itself into political matters ... but they are also not listening to their membership and to the general public on the matter. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, 54% of people who identified as 'very active' in the church support the legalization of medical marijuana, and 74% of somewhat active Mormons said they supported it."

I got this letter (mentioned by the above writer) from the Utah Area presidency. If a Church leader asks me to do such a thing, it is good enough for me. I didn't vote to support the measure, but it passed anyway and was later amended by the state legislature. (That is also another story and not something I want to re-hash with this post, whatever your feelings on the matter may be.)

Some would call this "blind obedience," but I don't for a second. I obey because I have a testimony of the Church and that its head is the Savior, Jesus Christ. Following the counsel of my leaders has blessed me every time I have done so. And yes, one of those things was "go[ing] on a mission to some strange and exotic place," and I "ma[de] every effort to go."

We all have the choice, like Naaman, to obey or to "go away in a rage," even if it is a metaphorical one or one of indifference.

In the future, I expect the Church will continue to ask both small and "great things" of me, and I know that I will be blessed when I hearken to those things.

In concluding his aforementioned talk, I conclude this post with the words of Pres. Faust: "May we all be faithful in doing the day-to-day, ordinary things that prove our worthiness, for they will lead us to and qualify us for great things."

You Don't Have to; You Get To

"It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on."
 -C.S. Lewis

Looking back, I don't remember too many of the things I learned specifically in the sixth grade. I remember learning pre-algebra, and I also remember we often had dances with the other classes in our grade. I also became a pretty good Jacks player during recess, because that is the kind of thug life I lived at age 11.

Anyhow, I also remember that we loved our teacher, Mr. Handley. He made learning fun, and he also had a way with words.

Whenever one of my classmates or I didn't want to do something he had the class do, that student would invariably ask, "Do we have to?" His response was always the same: "You don't have to; you get to."

It's taken me decades since then to fully grasp the wisdom in that concept. Much of adulthood (and of life itself) has turned out to be about things I get to do---things that come with the territory of being human. And sometimes, it seems, we get to pass through some truly awful things.

At age 11, back when I naively thought I was invincible, I couldn't have imagined some of the difficult things I would have to go through later in life. Depression, OCD, and more than one form of chronic pain have been tough teachers and unwelcome companions. At times, they have shaken me to my very core.

When I say this, I don't pretend that my difficulties have been more difficult than anyone else's; but they have been challenging for me. A recent visit to bless and pass the sacrament at the care center branch in my stake also reminded me that there are plenty of people in my own neighborhood who live daily with much worse, some of whom may even long for death when it doesn't come. I also write this in the shadow of the death of one of my sibling's fathers-in-law, who endured to the end despite a number of physical challenges he apparently battled the majority of his life.

Though life is undeniably pain, it's fortunately not only pain, too. It is also comprised of a great deal of joy if we will look around for it, even during the bleakest times. In fact, we couldn't know joy were it not for the pain. So much of what I get to do on a daily basis depends on my attitude about things. And through it all, I'm blessed and fortunate to have someone by my side now who sees me for who I am, sees the warts-and-all side of me, and loves me and inspires me regardless.

The trick, at least for me, is found in Chapter 29 of Alma. In it, Alma says:

"I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me. I ought not to harrow up in my desires the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction. Yea, and I know that good and evil have come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience" (Alma 29:3-5).

Ultimately, Alma touches on the most important thing of all: All have seen "good and evil," and all ultimately get to choose what to do about it.