Our Dinner with the Leons

Javier Leon, a friend and missionary who served with me years ago in the Peru Lima Central Mission, was recently in Utah with his family, visiting from Lima. We invited them to join us for dinner at our home on Monday, May 19.

These were not our only guests, however. The night before, the Spanish-speaking elders knocked on our door while I was out. JB answered the door and invited the missionaries to come to dinner, too. They came and brought along an investigator, Robin, an immigrant from Guatemala. Our final guest for the evening was our North Salt Lake neighbor Mike Bryner, who also served with me and Elder Leon in the mission field in Peru.

We decided to get takeout from Panda Express to feed everyone, and it proved to be a popular choice. We also provided a paneton, which is normally a Peruvian dessert shared at Christmastime and around New Year's; this particular one had remained in our food storage a few months beyond the holiday season.

At any rate, we had a wonderful evening together, and I'm so glad JB was able to meets Javier and family: his wife, Clarisa; and their sons, Hyrum and Taylor. The elders also shared (in Spanish) a brief spiritual message with us all. It felt like old times!

Luke's Farewell

Our not-so-little-anymore nephew Luke is all grown up now, somehow, something that occurred at some point, right before our eyes. And he's leaving on a mission. On Sunday, he delivered his farewell address at his ward's sacrament meeting in Woods Cross. JB and I were there, along with several family members on both sides of Elder Plowman's family.

By Sunday, Luke had actually already been set apart and serving his mission for a week, doing the MTC from home. This week, he heads to the actual MTC in Provo before moving on to the field in Michigan—right near where Mike and I were born, actually. We're confident he will have many wonderful experiences (and will grow up some more) in the years to come.

Luke's Mission Call

We are excited for our 18-year-old soon-to-be-high school-graduate nephew Luke, who opened his LDS mission call on Tuesday, May 7. He has been assigned to serve in the Michigan Detroit Mission, speaking English.

This area of the country has direct connection to our family. Dad lived near Detroit, in the city of Ypsilanti, and worked for Ford Motor Company when he was still a single man. At this time, as he would often remind us, he had season tickets to the Detroit Lions football games and when the Detroit Tigers won the World Series in 1968. Dad was living in Michigan when he began dating and married Mom.

Mom and Dad continued to live in the area as newlyweds when Mike and I were born. They served a stake mission together, during which they taught and helped baptize people who remained their dear friends for the rest of their earthly lives. Mom finished her college degree at the University of Eastern Michigan. Dad also ended up serving for a period of time as president of the University of Michigan student branch in Ann Arbor.

After the great news about Luke's mission assignment, we're rather certain there was an angel celebrating to the tune of the U. of Michigan fight song.

Mom's Funeral

How do you measure the life and love of a wonderful mother? I have no idea. I won't even try. (I posted the tribute I gave at her funeral in my previous post, if you'd like to read what I shared.)

Our angel mother passed away on Sunday, November 19, at age 80. We held her public viewing a week later at Russon Brothers Mortuary in Bountiful on Sunday, November 26. Before the public arrived, there was a brief message about death and dying that one of the staff shared with our nieces and nephews, and he did very well with such a difficult topic.

I especially love the above pic of Kira consoling her younger cousin Katy.

Extended family members and good friends and neighbors poured in by the dozens to pay their respects, share their memories, and give hugs upon more hugs. This number included some of Dad's childhood friends, people we've known since we moved to Bountiful in the late 1970s, and even some dear friends from our Puerto Rico years who now live in Utah.

The well wishers on this evening included our (JB's) nephew Spencer, who is now laboring as a service missionary for the Church.

The next morning, on Monday, November 27, a second viewing was held at the West Bountiful 5th Ward building in West Bountiful. (This is the ward Mom belonged to before moving to the care center, and they graciously agreed to host.)

Once again, several extended family and friends were there to mourn with us. Something you're reminded of at times like these is that they really help you know who your true friends are. Gratefully, our family has been blessed with the very best friends, neighbors, and ward families (past and present) that I could possibly imagine.

Our Sanders cousins Shellie and Denny, Jamie and Julie, Scott and Claudia and a number of their kids, and Sherrie and Aaliyah made the trip (from California and Utah County, respectively) to be there with us.

Following a family prayer offered by my sister, the funeral service in the chapel came next. All six of Mom's kids spoke, too—and we actually spoke in the same order we previously spoke in for Dad's funeral in April 2017. Bishop David Wood, Jeff's brother, presided and was the concluding speaker.

Admittedly, it was the musical number, the Primary favorite "I'm Trying to Be like Jesus," performed by our nieces and nephews and accompanied by Summer on the piano, that made me tear up the most.

As one of the pallbearers, I accompanied Mom's coffin, along with my fellow pallbearers (my brothers and three oldest nephews), out to the waiting hearse at the conclusion of the service. Our family friend and neighbor Lance Lindsay stood outside to play "Scotland the Brave," "Amazing Grace," and other folk tunes on the bagpipes as we left. A Brit by birth, Mom absolutely adored the bagpipes, and she and Dad would have savored this precious moment.

(After that, watching the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan will never be the same for me.)

After being provided with sack lunches by the amazing Relief Society of the West Bountiful 5th Ward, we carpooled up to the Smithfield City Cemetery to lay Mom to rest beside our Dad. It was a chilly November afternoon (about 30° F), yet the sky was clear, and the sun still shone upon us.

Since my oldest brother, Mike, had previously dedicated Dad's grave, my siblings decided that I, as second oldest, should be the one to dedicate Mom's grave. This was perhaps the most humbling moment of my life. (I learned a lot about the ordinance by studying the Church's handbook of instructions, just in case you were wondering what a graveside dedication consists of.) I did the best knew how to do with such a significant responsibility.

After that, someone had the brilliant idea to pass out magic markers so that everyone could write one final message to Mom on her coffin. I think that this activity was most therapeutic for the niblings, because it gave them something tangible to do to convey their tender feelings.

No trip up to Smithfield is complete without a visit to Gossner's Dairy in Logan, so we stopped there for squeaky cheese and egg nog for the trip home. We had never tried their egg nog before, as we are usually in Cache Valley either around Memorial Day or in the summer on our way to/from Bear Lake. It was great!

Finally, to cap off the day, we gathered at Joy Luck Chinese restaurant back in Bountiful for dinner together with our cousins. One of Mom's favorite places to eat, where the owner has known her and most of us by name for many years, they provided us with another delicious meal.

You can't spell the word funeral without the word fun, per se, but there's not much about the experience that you'd hope to take part in frequently. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for eternal families, and I'm glad that we did it together.

Arbuckle Family Dinner/September 2023

On Sunday, JB and I gathered with the in-laws for monthly family dinner at Jeremy's and Alice's home in Centerville. The weather was perfect for spending a September evening outdoors. I was grateful to just be able to attend one of these dinners for the first time in a while, since I missed the previous month due to illness and to being up at Bear Lake the month before that.

The menu's main dishes included Dutch oven meatloaf and mixed vegetables. We also enjoyed watermelon and veggies. JB provided dessert, which was both a birthday cake and peach crumble for birthday boy Tatum, now 10 years old (!):

Our missionary, Sister Arbuckle, has been out in the field for a year now! It all goes by so fast. He will soon be joined by her brother Spencer, who submitted his paperwork earlier that day.

Return of the Je-nna

Things may not have gone quite as planned, but what plans ever turn out exactly the way we think they will anyway?

Jenna returned home this week from her mission, and we are proud of her and her efforts. Texas is lucky to have had her serve there. I have no doubt she has had memorable experiences and has made friends that she will keep for a long, long time.

Olivia's Farewell

On Sunday, our niece Olivia delivered her farewell talk. Before we know it, she will be on her way to her service in the New Zealand Hamilton mission for the Church. We enjoyed our time attending her ward's sacrament meeting in Centerville along with family and friends.

I had to skedaddle out of their for some meetings in our ward, but then JB and I got to spend more time with her Tuesday night for dinner. We met up at Fat Fish for sushi, which is, I'll admit, growing on me that more I try it.

The food was good, and the company was even better.

Jenna's Farewell

Our 19-year-old niece Jenna is now serving a mission for the Church! She's the first Sister Plowman to serve (in my lifetime, anyway).

On Sunday, she gave her farewell address in her ward's sacrament meeting in Woods Cross. We attended, along with several members on both sides of the family. She was later set apart, and as of Monday, she's doing home MTC study before flying out to Texas.

We are very proud of her and are looking forward to reading about the many wonderful experiences Jenna will have over the course of the next 18 months.

Olivia's Mission Call

We've now got two nieces with calls to serve as missionaries for the Church. Last Wednesday, Olivia received hers and read it aloud to family members and friends.

And the verdict is: Hamilton, New Zealand (English speaking)! We are so excited for Livvy and the many wonderful experiences she will have.

Jenna's Endowment

Last Friday night, Jenna received her endowment—an important ordinance for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—in the Bountiful temple. Her getting ready to leave soon to go on a Church mission  to Texas is finally starting to feel real! Mom and a large number of Jenna's aunts, uncles, and a few cousins, along with her other grandma, were also there to support her.

On a personal note, I ran into an old friend in the men's dressing room I hadn't seen in 15 years or so. He is someone my sister and I used to perform improv with at ComedySportz back when there was a now-nonexistent Salt Lake club in Sugar House. When I last saw him, he wasn't exactly what you'd call active in the Church. I knew that he had been a returned missionary, but in the time I first knew him, he had picked up a smoking habit and metaphorically was in a place somewhere far from, oh, the temple.

Fast forward to Friday night. When I saw my old friend again, this time with a somewhat changed countenance and a light that wasn't there before. He ended up being part of the same session JB and I attended with the Plowmans and in-laws. It was all a bit surreal, but it was wonderful. The Atonement can and does work wonders with ordinary people every day and with anyone.

That's just a taste of the kind of joy Jenna will get to experience in the mission field.

Jenna's Mission Call

Our soon-to-be 19-year-old niece Jenna is going on a mission! Her call from Church headquarters arrived yesterday, and we gathered as family and friends to watch her open and read it.

And the winner is: Texas Fort Worth (English speaking)! We are very excited for Jenna and are confident she'll have a wonderful experience over her upcoming 18-month period of service.

Our Dinner with the Del Carpios 2021

Our good friends, Janett and (Elder) Fernando Del Carpio, were in town from Peru for a visit a few weeks ago. We were able to meet with them June 20 while they were staying with some friends in Kaysville.

Janett is one of the daughters of my mission president and his wife, Carlos and Maria Cuba. The day of our meeting happened to fall on Fathers Day—Janett's first since her father's passing last summer—and it was, quite understandably, a very emotional time for her. Having also lost her mother a few months ago, I'm sure, added to the difficulty.

Nevertheless, Janett spoke with great faith about these losses, even mentioning that her sister had related a dream she had about Pdte. Cuba being dressed all in white and running off because he was so busy and had so many things to do in the spirit world. This thought brough me great comfort, as well.

Though I had to do a lot of Spanish-to-English translation for JB's sake, there was very little if anything lost in translation. JB and Janett have become good friends in the short time they've known each other, and we are grateful for our relationship with the Del Carpio family.

The Mish: Blossoming as the Rose

Twenty-five years and several pounds ago this month, I was serving as a missionary in Peru. I was transfered to a new assignment to labor in the city of Cusco, which as it turns out is real and not a fictional place from The Emperor's New Groove. In that area, my companion, Elder Quispe, and I taught and baptized brother and sister Ever and Kelly Cárdenas, whose mother was returning to activity in the Church after an absence.

Sunday, March 17, 1996, looked like this:

You may not recognize that skinny kid, but that was me. The Cuzco Ward was one of my favorite areas with one of my favorite companions, and it included many memorable experiences enjoyed with unforgettable people.

Fast-forward to just a few days ago when now-thirtysomething Kelly searched for and found me on Facebook. In her message, she said her own eight-year-old child (Kelly is now a mother of four) had been baptized that week, and it inspired her to find the missionary who baptized her all those years ago. She remains active in the Church and is trying to keep her family on the straight and narrow.

Talking to Kelly again after not knowing anything about her or her family for many years was a great blessing for me. It was a reminder that planting seeds, nurturing them, watching them grow, and seeing the fruits blossom are all part of the process.

I have, and will always have, a great love for the children of Lehi in Peru. My association with the Lamanites and seeing them "blossom as the rose" (D&C 49:24) keeps bringing dividends and great blessings as the years go by.

Dallin's Homecoming

And just like that ... two years have come and gone.

Our missionary, Elder Plowman, returned home Friday. Due to social distancing measures during this time of coronavirus spikes, we had to make an appointment to go up to Layton and see him yesterday (which was a very good idea). Since Dallin had encountered a number of strangers on his flights home, we all wore masks the entire visit.

My oldest nephew is so grown up! He also seems very happy, and he should be; he's done very good work in the New Hampshire Manchester Mission. JB and he had a lot to talk about, as they now know many of the same people and places in that area.

He delivered his homecoming talk earlier today. Under the circumstances, we were not able to attend in person but watched via YouTube.

Hasta Luego, Presidente

Over the weekend, I learned the sad news that my mission president, Carlos A. Cuba Quintana, had passed away from complications due to COVID-19.

(This is me on May 9, 1995, at my welcome-to-the-mission dinner, along with the Cuba family; Elder and Hna. Silva, our family history missionaries from Texas; and Elders Urbano, Rodríguez, and Rodríguez [yes, two Rodríguezes], from Peru:)

It's hard to find the words, in either English or Spanish, to pay tribute to the good man we have lost. Nevertheless, I will try.

Presidente Cuba loved his missionaries; he called us his hijos (sons) and hijas (daughters). He treated us like a second father away from home. He was not perfect; he sometimes lost his temper, and he was sometimes strict—and there were times when he needed to be, including with me personally. Still, we knew that loved us. I will remember his good nature, his love of the gospel and of people, his good humor, and his showing me how a good husband and father in the way he treated his wife and five daughters.

He loved missionary work, and he dedicated three years of his life (among many other callings he served in throughout his life) to helping his missionaries learn to love it and preach its message well. It wasn't unusual to attend a multi-zone missionary conference with Pdte. Cuba speaking well into 9 or 10 in the evening. I spent four months of my service as his personal secretary in the mission office, one of the most-rewarding experiences of my time in Peru. It was a season in which I got to see up close just how tirelessly he worked on behalf of his missionaries and how dedicated he was to magnifying his calling.

This picture of Hna. and Pdte. Cuba was taken just a few months ago in front of the still-relatively new Arequipa temple, in southeastern Peru:

Pdte. Cuba, again serving under the title of president, was a member of the temple presidency at the time of his passing.

As one of my fellow missionaries pointed out in a social media post (Pdte. Cuba's hijos have been talking to each other a lot this week), this is not goodbye; this is just an hasta luego. We look forward in faith to the day when we are reunited with all of our lost loved ones through the grace and Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Hasta vernos con el Rey.

Bicentennial of the First Vision

At the most recent general conference of the Church two weeks ago, President Russell M. Nelson announced a new proclamation---the first one of its kind in 25 years. Drafted and signed by the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, it is only the sixth such proclamation issued in the history of the Restored Church.

The Restoration of the Fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ: A Bicentennial Proclamation to the World has been issued to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the First Vision of the Prophet Joseph Smith, which occurred sometime in the sping of 1820. This was the event that ushered in the Restoration of the Church and this, the dispensation of the fulness of times.

In Joseph Smith---History 1:33, the Prophet recorded that the angel Moroni told him, at the young age of 17, that "my name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people." This is certainly true. I've heard a lot of testimonies borne from both sides of that argument.

As for me, I will have and will speak of Joseph Smith's name only for good. Let me add my testimony here: I know without a doubt that this 14-year-old boy went into the woods to pray and saw the Father and the Son in vision about 200 years ago. I know that he was called to be a prophet, went on to translate the Book of Mormon by the gift and power of God, and thereafter restored priesthood authority and accomplished many other incredible feats, sealing his life and testimony with his own blood in 1844 at age 38.

I felt the Holy Spirit witness of the First Vision countless times as my companions and I related the story during my two-year missionary service for the Church. I observed in awe as it moved people to great happiness and tears and caused them to change their very lives. The story of the First Vision holds such incredible power because it happens to be true, and the Restoration it started continues to roll forth unto the ends of the Earth.

The Mish: 25 Years Later

Hace 25 años hoy, el 8 de marzo de 1995, un joven nervioso e ansioso pero con esperanza, quien nunca habia vivido lejos de sus padres y de su familia, entró el CCM de Provo, Utah, se puso la placa de Elder Plowman por primera vez, e inició su servicio misional de dos años en la Misión Perú Lima Central. Desde aquel día, mi vida cambió en para siempre en muchas maneras, una época en la cual conocí a gente y lugares inolvidables y traje memorias que aún atesoro a través del tiempo.

Twenty-five years ago today, on March 8, 1995, a nervous and anxious but hopeful young man, who had never lived away from his parents or family before, entered the MTC in Provo, Utah, put on the Elder Plowman nametag for the first time, and began his two years of missionary service in the Peru Lima Central Mission. Since that day, my life changed forever in many ways; a time in which I met unforgettable people and places, and I have memories I still treasure after all that time.

Divinely Assigned Guardians

I remember when the Church's Family Proclamation was first announced. It was September 1995, and I had been serving in the mission field in Peru for just over four months. President Gordon B. Hinckley read the document in the women's meeting prior to general conference.

Among other principles, the Proclamation, just the fifth of its kind ever produced by the leaders of the Church, read that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" and "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Our mission president loved every word of it, and so did we. He gave us several copies of it so each companionship in the mission could distribute them to the people with whom we came in contact on a daily basis. It opened a lot of doors for us in our work.

The thing of it is: Everyone we met agreed completely with its teachings and accepted them as universal truths. Nobody had any problem with it, be they members of the Church or non-members.

Flash forward to 2019, not even a quarter of a century later, and we're in a completely different world. Merely repeating the teachings of the Family Proclamation is basically now hate speech and bigotry in the view of many of those in the Great and Spacious Building. I'm disappointed to observe that many of those upset with the Proclamation and the Church's teachings are those who would describe themselves as active members of the Church.

President Dallin H. Oaks speaks on this subject frequently, including at the latest general conference just a few weeks ago. In his latest "controversial" message, "Two Great Commandments," he taught:

"Marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed His definition of marriage. ... Eternal life includes the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female."

For those familiar with the doctrine of the Church, there are no new concepts here. And yet the backlash came, almost predictably, of Church members critical of Pres. Oaks and apologizing for the Church, its leaders, and its teachings. I observed a number of these conversations on social media, and when I dared speak in defense of Pres. Oaks, I was told by multiple people I was "behaving reprehensibly," that I was not following my covenants to love others, and worse.

It's almost as if Isaiah foresaw this when he wrote: "For they shall be ashamed of the oaks" (Isaiah 1:29).

A friend of mine---one who, like me, sustains Pres. Oaks---wrote: "I believe Pres. Oaks has chosen to follow the example of Abinadi, being a willing sacrifice, laying his life and reputation on the altar for the cause of truth, taking the heat (pun intended) for unapologetically declaring the truth to a hard-hearted people."

It's hard for me to disagree. I recently re-read Abinadi's words in my own scripture study. A few passages stood out to me:

Abinadi's opponents claimed that "he pretendeth the Lord hath spoken it. ... O king, what great evil hast thou done ... that we should be condemned of God or judged of this man?" (Mosiah 12:12-13).

Abinadi said, "I must fulfil the commandments wherewith God has commanded me; and because I have told you the truth, ye are angry with me. And because I have spoken the word of God ye have judge me that I am mad. ... My words fill you with wonder and amazement, and with anger" (Mosiah 13:4, 8).

Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke prophetically in 1978 when he said:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions (see 1 Kings 18:21). ...

"This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ."

We certainly have arrived at that day and will be there for some time, I think.

Moroni also spoke directly to those of "the holy church of God": "Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies---because of the praise of the world?" (Mormon 8:38).

I suppose Pres. Oaks keeps speaking on this topic because people aren't getting the message. The number of those murmuring about it speak to this. I suspect he will continue to speak on it for the same reason.

"They did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them" (1 Nephi 2:12).

It's clear to me how the two great commandments work together: You must love others while simultaneously upholding the truths contained in the scriptures and taught by the modern prophets. You don't have to choose only one or the other, in spite of what the world teaches.

In his talk, Pres. Oaks spelled it out, and I don't think he could have spoken more plainly: We will all inherit a kingdom of glory, but only those who will strive to keep all of the commandments will inherit the highest, which is exaltation with our Heavenly Father. Teaching the true nature of those commandments and inviting others to inherit this kingdom is an act of great love, not of condemnation. Conversely, knowing the true path while also teaching others that remaining on a path that leads to lesser things is an acceptable option seems like an act of betrayal.

I realize that there are strong feelings about this topic. But I also believe there is a way for every son and daughter of God to obey this and every other commandment that has been given (see 1 Nephi 3:7). I believe a loving, wise Heavenly Father can and will provide a way for all who wish to find it.

I also find it significant that both the initial announcement of the Family Proclamation and President Oaks's latest talk on the subject occurred in the women's session of general conference. When Pres. Oaks mentioned the "divinely assigned guardians of the eternal family," he was speaking to the women of the Church. In a world that will teach the next generation, including my nieces and nephews, the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture, I will point them toward God's truth and not the world's counterfeits for it.

"Notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God" (Moroni 9:6).

Our Dinner with the Bays

It was great to meet up with my old mission companion Bill Bay and his wife, Kristen, for dinner Wednesday night. They live in Florida but were in town for both vacation and to drop off their daughter Gabriella at BYU-Idaho for school.

We went to Rocoto (where else?) in Woods Cross for some Peruvian food. I'm glad that companionships go beyond those mission months and years and that I get to share these moments with my eternal companion, JB.

Paula's Visit

On Saturday, we were grateful to spend part of the day with Paula, whose mother Roxana I taught the discussions to as a missionary in Lima, Peru, over 20 years ago (!). Paula was in town from Sacramento this week for EFY, and we were able to take her through Temple Square and some of the other sites in downtown Salt Lake City before dropping her off at the airport for her return trip home.

She’s a great kid and part of a great family we are blessed to know. She spoke of her desires to serve a mission of her own when she turns 19 years old, and how could we not encourage her to do so? (JB and I are both RMs.)