Mom's Funeral

How do you measure the life and love of a wonderful mother? I have no idea. I won't even try. (I posted the tribute I gave at her funeral in my previous post, if you'd like to read what I shared.)

Our angel mother passed away on Sunday, November 19, at age 80. We held her public viewing a week later at Russon Brothers Mortuary in Bountiful on Sunday, November 26. Before the public arrived, there was a brief message about death and dying that one of the staff shared with our nieces and nephews, and he did very well with such a difficult topic.

I especially love the above pic of Kira consoling her younger cousin Katy.

Extended family members and good friends and neighbors poured in by the dozens to pay their respects, share their memories, and give hugs upon more hugs. This number included some of Dad's childhood friends, people we've known since we moved to Bountiful in the late 1970s, and even some dear friends from our Puerto Rico years who now live in Utah.

The well wishers on this evening included our (JB's) nephew Spencer, who is now laboring as a service missionary for the Church.

The next morning, on Monday, November 27, a second viewing was held at the West Bountiful 5th Ward building in West Bountiful. (This is the ward Mom belonged to before moving to the care center, and they graciously agreed to host.)

Once again, several extended family and friends were there to mourn with us. Something you're reminded of at times like these is that they really help you know who your true friends are. Gratefully, our family has been blessed with the very best friends, neighbors, and ward families (past and present) that I could possibly imagine.

Our Sanders cousins Shellie and Denny, Jamie and Julie, Scott and Claudia and a number of their kids, and Sherrie and Aaliyah made the trip (from California and Utah County, respectively) to be there with us.

Following a family prayer offered by my sister, the funeral service in the chapel came next. All six of Mom's kids spoke, too—and we actually spoke in the same order we previously spoke in for Dad's funeral in April 2017. Bishop David Wood, Jeff's brother, presided and was the concluding speaker.

Admittedly, it was the musical number, the Primary favorite "I'm Trying to Be like Jesus," performed by our nieces and nephews and accompanied by Summer on the piano, that made me tear up the most.

As one of the pallbearers, I accompanied Mom's coffin, along with my fellow pallbearers (my brothers and three oldest nephews), out to the waiting hearse at the conclusion of the service. Our family friend and neighbor Lance Lindsay stood outside to play "Scotland the Brave," "Amazing Grace," and other folk tunes on the bagpipes as we left. A Brit by birth, Mom absolutely adored the bagpipes, and she and Dad would have savored this precious moment.

(After that, watching the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan will never be the same for me.)

After being provided with sack lunches by the amazing Relief Society of the West Bountiful 5th Ward, we carpooled up to the Smithfield City Cemetery to lay Mom to rest beside our Dad. It was a chilly November afternoon (about 30° F), yet the sky was clear, and the sun still shone upon us.

Since my oldest brother, Mike, had previously dedicated Dad's grave, my siblings decided that I, as second oldest, should be the one to dedicate Mom's grave. This was perhaps the most humbling moment of my life. (I learned a lot about the ordinance by studying the Church's handbook of instructions, just in case you were wondering what a graveside dedication consists of.) I did the best knew how to do with such a significant responsibility.

After that, someone had the brilliant idea to pass out magic markers so that everyone could write one final message to Mom on her coffin. I think that this activity was most therapeutic for the niblings, because it gave them something tangible to do to convey their tender feelings.

No trip up to Smithfield is complete without a visit to Gossner's Dairy in Logan, so we stopped there for squeaky cheese and egg nog for the trip home. We had never tried their egg nog before, as we are usually in Cache Valley either around Memorial Day or in the summer on our way to/from Bear Lake. It was great!

Finally, to cap off the day, we gathered at Joy Luck Chinese restaurant back in Bountiful for dinner together with our cousins. One of Mom's favorite places to eat, where the owner has known her and most of us by name for many years, they provided us with another delicious meal.

You can't spell the word funeral without the word fun, per se, but there's not much about the experience that you'd hope to take part in frequently. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for eternal families, and I'm glad that we did it together.