How the Gospel Protects Me

Today at church in our new ward, JB and I were asked to speak in sacrament meeting. What follows below is the text of my talk.

My topic today is: “How living the gospel of Jesus Christ protects my family.”

I think many of the most powerful sermons are taught in the Primary songs. I love the messages they convey. They are simple, direct, and powerful.

In the Primary song (and in Hymn no. 303), we sing:

“Keep the commandments; keep the commandments!

In this there is safety; in this there is peace.

He will send blessings; He will send blessings.

Words of a prophet: Keep the commandments.

In this there is safety and peace.”

There is protection in keeping the commandments. When we keep the commandments, our Heavenly Father sends the blessings we can claim by no other means than by choosing to obey Him. It teaches us to be truly happy, because “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). The adversary would have us choose poorly and even become addicted to things that would take away our free agency and will make us miserable.

When we make mistakes and break a commandment, however, there is protection in repentance through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. When we come to our Heavenly Father in humility and prayer, how long does it take for the Atonement to take effect in our lives? Alma answers this question in Alma 34:

“Now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you” (Alma 34:31; emphasis added).

The Atonement will begin to work in our lives just as soon as we ask for it! Immediately the Savior’s healing process begins.

In another Primary song, we sing: “The wise man built his house upon the rock” (Children’s Songbook, no. 281).

In Helaman chapter 5, Helaman teaches us about this rock:

“Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.”

Christ will help us to weather the storms of this life. Sometimes, the storm can be quite literally an actual storm. When I was 13 years old, I lived with my family on the island of Puerto Rico. When I first learned that Hurricane Hugo was headed our way, I was terrified. I’d never been through anything like this before. But we were prepared. The prophets had long taught (and are still teaching) us to prepare for calamities with food storage, including also a first aid kit, clean water, clothing, batteries, etc. As the storm approached, the store shelves became emptied and bare as others panicked and rushed to buy what they would need to get them through the next days and weeks. But we never had to worry about that. All around us there was destruction, but we were OK. Our community and our island rebuilt. Home teachers ensured we were doing well and had everything we needed.

In yet another Primary song, we sing: “Mine is a home where every hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood pow’r” (Children’s Songbook, no. 190). The priesthood can bless not only our homes but every aspect of our lives. Through priesthood ordinances, we make covenants with our Heavenly Father that will protect us as we journey through life.

Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught:

“By making and keeping temple covenants, we learn more about the Lord’s purposes and receive a fulness of the Holy Ghost. We receive direction for our lives. We mature in our discipleship so that we do not remain perpetual, unknowing children. Rather, we live with an eternal perspective and are more motivated to serve God and others. We receive increased capacity to fulfill our purposes in mortality. We are protected from evil, and we gain greater power to resist temptation and to repent when we stumble. When we falter, the memory of our covenants with God helps us return to the path. … Ultimately, our destinies are changed because the covenant path leads to exaltation and eternal life.

“Keeping covenants made in baptismal fonts and in temples also provides us with strength to withstand mortality’s trials and heartaches” (“Accessing God’s Power through Covenants,” April 2023 general conference).

The gift of the Holy Ghost is indeed one of our Father in Heaven’s greatest blessings and a source of protection. He warns us of danger and reminds us of what is good and true. The Comforter has accompanied me when I have experienced the loss of loved ones, including most recently my dear mother, who passed away this past November. In the days and weeks that followed her death, I became reacquainted with the Comforter in ways I never expected. I love her and will always miss her, but I am at peace because of His comfort. I testify that He is real.

The gospel of Jesus Christ protects us in so many other ways, both temporally as well as spiritually. The Word of Wisdom, for example, protects us from many avoidable illnesses, including freedom from addiction to harmful substances. The law of chastity helps us to avoid unnecessary pain and suffering and things that would poison our minds and spirits. Tithing and fast offerings help us learn to be less selfish while also bringing with them specific blessings of a financial nature. In my previous calling in our last ward, I had the privilege to see up close on a weekly basis how our bishop used fast offering funds to help people in our ward in numerous ways. It never ceased to amaze me what good could be done.

I love how devoted the Church is to helping us succeed in every aspect of our lives. From self-reliance, job training, and money management classes to LDS Social Services, including mental health and addiction recovery counseling, to its welfare and humanitarian projects, the Church helps us to make of ourselves the best disciples we can be.

One final thought before I close:  Though the gospel protects us from many things, we may not always be “protected,” at least not in the way we might think, from the difficult, gut-wrenching trials of life. The gospel can help us to protect ourselves against unwanted consequences, yet adversity comes to us all.

For example, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego were protected from burning to death in the fiery furnace, while Abinadi was not. John Taylor was shot and survived assassins’ bullets, while Joseph and Hyrum Smith did not. The 2,060 stripling warriors were saved from death in battle, while other righteous warriors weren’t. Some are healed from devastating illness, and some are not. Some struggle with money problems and job loss, and others don’t. Some missionaries serve with no significant health problems, yet others must return home early and even some contract illnesses, injuries, or challenges that remain with them for the rest of their mortal lives. And so forth.

In my experience, it is not good to dwell on the why or the how of these kinds of things. It doesn’t do any good to speculate when Heavenly Father has not provided a reason. “(We) cannot behold with (our) natural eyes, for the present time, the design of (our) God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that (we) shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand” (D&C 58:3-4).

What we can do, however, is to decide how we will respond to life’s difficulties and what we will make of the talents that have been given to us. (See Matthew 25:14-30.)

Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught: “The great challenge is to refuse to let the bad things that happen to us do bad things to us. That is the crucial difference between adversity and tragedy” (“But for a Small Moment,” address delivered at Brigham Young University, September 1, 1974). Our free agency is the only gift we really have that is ours to offer our Savior, and His greatest and everlasting blessings are reserved for those who do so.

Elder Dennis E. Simmons of the Seventy spoke on this point in the April 2004 general conference, in one of the best general conference talks I’ve ever heard. I may be a bit biased, as I was sitting in the choir seats behind Elder Simmons for this talk. (Elder Maxwell also spoke in that session; it was his last conference talk before he passed away.)

He said: “When Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego refused to bow down and worship a golden image set up by the king, a furious Nebuchadnezzar told them that if they would not worship as commanded, they would immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. ‘And who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?’

“The three young men quickly and confidently responded, ‘If it be so [if you cast us into the furnace], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand.’ … But then they demonstrated that they fully understood what faith is. They continued, ‘But if not, … we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.’ That is a statement of true faith. …

“Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not. … He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. … He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, … we will trust in the Lord.

“Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. … He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. … We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, … we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has” (“But If Not …,” April 2004 general conference).

I testify that our Heavenly Father loves us, so much so that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to take our pains, sicknesses, and sins upon Him so that we may return to Them, safe and sound. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

A Pandemic, a Quake, and a Quarantine ... Oh My

What a year we've had this past month ... amirite?

It's not like Paco needs to tell you what's been going on out there since he last blogged, but for the sake of future generation(s) or the cave dwellers who may be reading this post: The coronavirus, or COVID-19, has reared its ugly head into each of our lives in a matter of a few, short weeks. Originating in Wuhan, China, and spreading across the globe, it has changed things for all of us in countless ways.

Many businesses have had to close their doors and numerous public gatherings and events have been canceled in order to help contain the spread. A "stay home, stay safe" order for many of us means that the only exceptions for leaving home right now are for work (those who are "essential"), grocery shopping/takeout, or for medical needs. We've learned new terms like social distancing as we've each tried to lessen the spread and to weather the storm of this disease.

I remember watching the news the night when the first diagnosis was announced here in Utah. Then that number became a few more people, then a hundred, then 300, and currently it's (the last I saw) over 1,800 infected here in our lovely Deseret. The United States, at the moment, leads the world in the number of COVID-19 diagnoses, especially in larger cities like New York City.

JB and I have been fortunate enough to be able to continue to work throughout all of this (JB from home), but we are keenly aware that not all of our friends and neighbors have been so lucky. Many are worried about the economy, whether they're still going to have jobs when this thing is over, and how they're going to make ends meet until then.

If dealing with all this wasn't enough, we out of nowhere experienced a strong earthquake here in Utah (5.7 on the Richter scale) at approximately 7:09 a.m. the morning on March 18, with its epicenter in nearby Magna. Yours truly was asleep, but it sure gave me a rude awakening. A number of aftershocks followed it that day and have occurred in the weeks since then.

You can't spell pandemic without the word panic. As one who already dealt with anxiety and depression on a daily basis prior to these new challenges, I've had all sorts of thoughts and feelings about these events---not all of them optimistic nor, admittedly, rational. I've had some really hard days mentally, while other days have been ... just okay.

Then, just in time, came general conference this past weekend. Never did it come at a time when I needed it more.

Under the circumstances, the sessions were not held in the Conference Center but rather in a small auditorium at the Church Office Building. Only the First Presidency and each session's speakers and prayer givers were present. Even the Tabernacle Choir members were not there; prerecorded broadcasts of the choir's former performances were aired as the musical numbers instead.

Not once did I hear from any speaker any doom or gloom about our current situation, which was not in any way ignored. They, in fact, acknowledged it directly but also spoke of it as a temporary difficulty and a trial that will pass in time. I heard only faith and optimism in the messages that were given.

While church meetings have been temporarily suspended and temples have been closed until it is safe for them to resume and reopen, the home is now the de facto sacred refuge for us as Church members. Multiple speakers spoke on this concept. This is, in fact, what the prophet, the Apostles, and the other general authorities have been preparing us for over the past few years! The introduction of the Come, Follow Me curriculum and the emphasis on home-centered church have been getting us ready for the current situation this whole time. JB and I are doing our best at present to make our home such a refuge for ourselves not only on Sundays but throughout the week.

In the Lord's due time, His work will roll forth. I believe that there is so much still to be done, temple work foremost among those tasks, that the He will make a way for His temples to reopen before long. President Nelson, in fact, announced eight new temples to be built across the globe, including another one (our third!) in Davis County in Syracuse, Utah; one in mainland China in Shanghai; and another in Dubai, United Arab Emirates---the Church's first temple in the Mideast!

No, general conference didn't magically heal my anxiety about our current situation. Depression and anxiety will still always be there for me to deal with to one degree or another until I am cured of them beyond this mortal existence. But conference did help me immensely nonetheless. It recharged my spiritual batteries and has given me sorely needed direction and hope as we move forward through the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I hope to cheerfully do all things in my power to endure whatever may come in the near future. I look forward to joining my fellow Saints in fasting and prayer this Friday, Good Friday, along with all others from different faiths or no faith who wish to join us, per President Nelson's invitation, as we implore the Lord for help and relief for those suffering physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

While I Was Sleeping

After dealing with a sore shoulder all summer long, and after having tried both physical therapy and a cortisone shot to remedy it, my doctor and I made the decision to proceed with surgery. I ended up having torn labrum cartilage, so it's a good thing we did.

My surgeon said it would be a relatively simple surgery.

Narrator: 'It was not simple."

On Tuesday, September 3, I went in to the surgical center to get prepped and wheeled into the operating room. The last thing I remember before passing out from the anesthetic was JB leaving the room to go out into the lobby to wait.

I awoke two or more hours later in what I assumed was the recovery room at the surgical center. Instead, I learned that I was in the emergency room at Lakeview Hospital. JB was there by my side. I asked how the surgery went, and she replied that it was successful. There was one complication, however. She said three words that have forever changed my life:

"Your heart stopped."

Well ... that was humbling news. I missed all of the fun when I was asleep, apparently. I also missed my first-ever ride in an ambulance, because I was snoozing for that, too. In JB's words in a text message she sent out to family members, here is what happened:

"Jon went into cardiac arrest (not a heart attack) during his surgery this afternoon. His heart stopped beating for less than a minute, and they were able to quickly revive him. He was brought to the ER at Lakeview, and they ran tests to be sure everything was OK. All of the tests have come back positive, but he is being kept overnight for observation. His oxygen levels are a bit low, so he might come home on oxygen if that doesn't improve. At this point, they still aren't sure what caused the cardiac arrest. The hospital doc thinks the sleep apnea contributed, but the anesthesiologist from his surgery was just here and said Jon's heart rate just dropped rapidly, and he thinks it was a result of the anesthesia. There will probably be more tests down the road."

Up till now, my closest brushes with death, I believe, were a number of frightening taxi cab rides I somehow survived in the sprawling metropolis of Lima, Peru. I believe I had a guardian angel (or angels) looking out for me then, when I was a missionary. I believe I had at least one looking out for me on the day of my surgery.

As JB wrote, the tests (including a heart ultrasound and chest X-rays) conducted at the hospital fortunately came out positive. I spent the night in the hospital (also a first for me) for observation, and, thankfully, my vitals and all other signs looked good enough that I could go home to rest and recover the next day. Both my surgeon and the anesthesiologist visited me and caught me up to speed on what happened. According to the surgeon, he was "99 percent" done with everything he wanted to do during the operation when the cardiac arrest occurred, so at least the original goal of the surgery was accomplished in the process.

And in the two weeks since then, well ... honestly, I'm still dealing with a few emotions. I'm in a little bit of shock and awe at it all. I rested at home for eight days until returning to work last week. The most (physically) painful part of my recovery wasn't my shoulder but instead has been a great deal of bruising around my sternum, oddly almost in the shape of an Iron Man Arc reactor triangle, where CPR was administered. It has  gotten much better since, and I've mostly resumed my usual day-to-day activities.

Through that time, the overwhelming emotion has been gratitude. I'm grateful to be here still. I'm grateful to the surgical staff, EMTs, doctors, and nurses who took such good care of me. I'm grateful my patient, caring wife was there by my side and that she'll always be there, no matter what trials or health problems may befall me or us in this mortal existence, as long as I live worthy of the covenants I have made and we have made together. I'm grateful for a loving family who visited and prayed for me and for JB and our little family. I'm grateful for good neighbors and ward members who minstered to and watched out for JB while I was in the hospital, who prayed for us, and who were over in our home the first few nights back to bring dinner and well-wishes with genuine concern and fellowship.

To my Heavenly Father, I'm grateful for the very gift of life itself. Having been given this realization of just how fragile life can be, I am trying to be more appreciative of some of the simple things I used to take for granted: sunsets, sunrises, waking up each morning, and especially a heart that beats throughout the day and night.

My perspective on several things has also changed. I make sure to say "I love you" to those closest to me with more frequency, and I also am trying to do and say things that will show it.

A day will come, hopefully decades from now, when my heart will stop beating again and won't start back up this time. I'm keenly aware of it now. Until that day comes, I hope to keep these important lessons in heart and mind and to make my life worth saving.

You Don't Have to; You Get To

"It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on."
 -C.S. Lewis

Looking back, I don't remember too many of the things I learned specifically in the sixth grade. I remember learning pre-algebra, and I also remember we often had dances with the other classes in our grade. I also became a pretty good Jacks player during recess, because that is the kind of thug life I lived at age 11.

Anyhow, I also remember that we loved our teacher, Mr. Handley. He made learning fun, and he also had a way with words.

Whenever one of my classmates or I didn't want to do something he had the class do, that student would invariably ask, "Do we have to?" His response was always the same: "You don't have to; you get to."

It's taken me decades since then to fully grasp the wisdom in that concept. Much of adulthood (and of life itself) has turned out to be about things I get to do---things that come with the territory of being human. And sometimes, it seems, we get to pass through some truly awful things.

At age 11, back when I naively thought I was invincible, I couldn't have imagined some of the difficult things I would have to go through later in life. Depression, OCD, and more than one form of chronic pain have been tough teachers and unwelcome companions. At times, they have shaken me to my very core.

When I say this, I don't pretend that my difficulties have been more difficult than anyone else's; but they have been challenging for me. A recent visit to bless and pass the sacrament at the care center branch in my stake also reminded me that there are plenty of people in my own neighborhood who live daily with much worse, some of whom may even long for death when it doesn't come. I also write this in the shadow of the death of one of my sibling's fathers-in-law, who endured to the end despite a number of physical challenges he apparently battled the majority of his life.

Though life is undeniably pain, it's fortunately not only pain, too. It is also comprised of a great deal of joy if we will look around for it, even during the bleakest times. In fact, we couldn't know joy were it not for the pain. So much of what I get to do on a daily basis depends on my attitude about things. And through it all, I'm blessed and fortunate to have someone by my side now who sees me for who I am, sees the warts-and-all side of me, and loves me and inspires me regardless.

The trick, at least for me, is found in Chapter 29 of Alma. In it, Alma says:

"I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me. I ought not to harrow up in my desires the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction. Yea, and I know that good and evil have come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience" (Alma 29:3-5).

Ultimately, Alma touches on the most important thing of all: All have seen "good and evil," and all ultimately get to choose what to do about it.

Christmas Eve 2018

As we have done in past years, we spent Christmas Eve at Mom's house, along with my siblings and their spouses and families (including 14 nieces and nephews and three dogs). With 27 people and three pets altogether, it was a house full of a lot of different things happening at once but also a fun and memorable night.

Earlier in the day, I went to the doctor with a sore throat and was diagnosed with strep. Merry Christmas from my immune system! So, that is why I appear in some of these photos wearing a mask to help prevent the spread of germs, especially to the little ones.

Following a delicious dinner, to which everyone contributed, we put on the annual family Christmas pageant, which involved inspirational quotes from general authorities, the singing of Christmas hymns, and a retelling of the Christmas story in Chapter 2 of the Gospel of St. Luke. Years ago, Biz had the foresight to record Dad reading this story, and it was played for the rest of us to listen along. It was comforting to hear his voice again.

Graham, as Joseph, and Kate, as Mary, got into a little custody dispute of the baby Jesus that you had to be there to fully appreciate (but we can also cut them some slack, as they're two and three years old, respectively). This is about the point at which the tug-o'-war began:

Next, we got to exchange and open our Christmas presents on our side of the family. Kira was very pleased with her Hatchimal (this is what the kids are calling it these days):

And Graham was excited about his new Batman PJs:

Anxious to get home and get to sleep ahead of Santa Claus's visit, Christian (helped out here by Jana) checked Santa's whereabouts on NORAD:

To all, a good night.

Adversity

JB and I spoke in our ward's sacrament meeting earlier today. This is what I spoke on:

Good morning, brothers and sisters. I am grateful for this opportunity Jana and I have been given to speak to you today. We are so grateful for the outpouring of love and fellowship we’ve felt here since we moved in to the Stone Creek Ward five months ago.

Up until we joined this ward, I’d spent the vast majority of my adult post-mission life in singles wards. So, serving as a Webelos leader is something very new for me. I’m 42 years old, and she has been . . . let’s say 29 for a few birthdays now. We’re a bit older than most newlyweds.

Jana and I met a few years ago in our mid-singles ward, the Bountiful 8^th Ward, after it was organized in 2014. For those for whom the term mid-singles ward might sound made up: It’s a real thing for singles ages 31 through 45. Ours covered a large area, from North Salt Lake and Woods Cross up through Kaysville. Some call it the “Island of Misfit Toys,” though I like to think of it as the “remedial” singles ward. After we first met, Jana and I went on a handful of dates. It took a few years after that for me to get my head screwed on straight and to ask her out again, and after 16 months of dating and engagement, we were sealed in the Bountiful temple in April.

My topic today is adversity. When we think of adversity, we don’t have to look very far to see it all around us. We just have to step outside right now and see the smoke in the air to be reminded that firefighters in our state are currently battling some very devastating fires. We merely have to turn on the news to see images of widespread destruction caused by hurricanes, monsoons, earthquakes, and other natural disasters, “wars and rumors of wars” (Matthew 24:6), famine, shootings, domestic violence, and a number of other troubles. In addition to these troubles are the challenges of chronic physical and mental pain and illness, injury, disability, job loss, poverty, and the death of our loved ones.

For many of the people in the ward where Jana and I met, adversity comes in the form of loneliness for those remaining single into their 30s and 40s—and beyond. Sister Wendy Watson Nelson, for example, did not marry until much later in her life. There are some of ours who, sadly, may never marry in this lifetime. Still others who have married have endured the pain of the death of a spouse, infertility, wayward children, and other difficulties.’’

We live very much in a day and time when Paul prophesied: “In the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.” Later in this chapter, Paul adds: “All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 12).

It has always been this way for us in this mortal sphere. President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, pain and comforts, ease and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments; and we knew also that we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. … We were willing to come and take life as it came” (Improvement Era, Mar. 1996, 217).

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles also taught: “The scriptures teach that ‘there is … opposition in all things’ (2 Ne. 2:11). Just as times of joy and happiness come to each of us, so also comes pain to every mortal. How can we understand those moments in our life when we experience physical or emotional pain? …

“I have come to understand how useless it is to dwell on the whys, what ifs, and if onlys for which there likely will be given no answers in mortality. To receive the Lord’s comfort, we must exercise faith. The questions Why me? Why our family? Why now? are usually unanswerable questions. These questions detract from our spirituality and can destroy our faith. We need to spend our time and energy building our faith by turning to the Lord and asking for strength to overcome the pains and trials of this world and to endure to the end for greater understanding” (“Healing Soul and Body,” October 1998 general conference).

In my preparation for this talk, and through studying the words and teaching of both ancient and modern prophets, I have come up with a list of four important concepts I have learned through adversity.

The first item on this list is the vital importance of keeping God’s commandments. I think it’s important to note that there is often a difference between trials and the consequences of our sins. Others’ misuse of agency may harm us. And when we sin, misusing our own agency, we must also face the consequences of those actions, becoming our own “worst enemy” or source of adversity.

In the most recent Face to Face broadcast, Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles talked about adversity and said: “Some of that (comes) because there’s agency and some of that because there’s adversary.”

King Benjamin teaches: “The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19).

Because Christ has already suffered for our sins, we do not have to suffer for them if we will turn from the natural man to Him and repent through His Atonement. Speaking of Christ, Paul tells us in the Epistle to the Hebrews: “Though he were a Son, yet he learned obedience by the things which he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8). We must learn to do the same.

President Henry B. Eyring spoke to our duty when it comes to obedience. He said: “The great test of life is to see whether we will hearken to and obey God’s commands in the midst of the storms of life. It is not to endure storms, but to choose the right while they rage” (“Spiritual Preparedness: Start Early and Be Steady,” October 2005 general conference).

It’s not possible to fully avoid adversity in this life, but we can still avoid a number of troubles by obeying gospel laws.

Second: Through adversity, we are given opportunities to grow spiritually. Trials help us to learn just what we are made of; they stretch and mold us into the kind of person Heavenly Father would like us to become.

Mother Theresa said: “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.”

Toward the end of the “War Chapters” in the Book of Mormon, Mormon tells us: “Because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility” (Alma 62:41).

These Saints had endured the same trial together; and while some had grown bitter, others had grown better.

Another scriptural example that comes to my mind is that of Abraham. At a very old age, he and Sarah were finally blessed with Isaac, a son born in the covenant. And yet, in what was most imaginably gut-wrenching to Abraham, he was commanded to offer up this son as a sacrifice in a test of his faith. Well, we all know what happened. Abraham and Isaac both obeyed; and at the last moment, an angel intervened to save Isaac’s life.

BYU Professor Truman G. Madsen wrote about a time when he was with President Hugh B. Brown of the First Presidency in Hebron, near Abraham’s tomb:

“I (asked President Brown), ‘Why ... was Abraham commanded to go to Mount Moriah and offer his only hope of posterity?’

“It was clear that this man, nearly ninety, had thought and prayed and wept over that question before. He finally said, ‘Abraham needed to learn something about Abraham’” (Five Classics by Truman G. Madsen [2001], 232).

Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, was imprisoned in Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Even under such wretched conditions, he later wrote that people could nevertheless still decide what their attitudes would be: “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Thirdly, adversity gives us an opportunity to serve and minister to our fellow man.

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior taught: “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

Whenever and wherever a natural disaster occurs, members of the Church are always among the first ones there to help. A few years ago, following a hurricane in the Southern states, I remember reading about a cleanup effort the Church had headed. One very grateful woman was quoted as saying that she was especially grateful to two groups in particular for their help: the Latter-day Saints and the Mormons.

I very much feel for those who have been affected by Hurricane Florence recently, because I have been where they’ve been. When I was 13 years old, my family and I lived in Puerto Rico, where we weathered one of the worst storms ever to occur to that date. (Last year’s Hurricane Maria was much worse.)

Hurricane Hugo pummeled our island, and it went on to destroy other areas of the Caribbean and southeastern United States. Following the widespread destruction, we surveyed the damage, and it was extensive. It was at this time that I gained a testimony of the importance of heeding the prophets’ counsel to store a year-long supply of food, clean water, batteries, and other necessities, because we would desperately need them in the ensuing weeks.

What good can come of such a catastrophe? On the surface, it’s hard to say. The lives lost can’t be restored nor the extensive damage undone. But to give one example, I recall a cleanup service project I took part in with the youth in my ward. We went to a nearby park to clean up and carry away the fallen branches and leaves, to mow the grass, and other tasks. As we worked, residents of this neighborhood, most likely none of whom were of our faith, noticed what we were doing, and a few came out to help us. A few others brought us soda and snacks. They learned we were there representing our Church. It may have been the first contact with the Church they’d had in their lives, and we hoped it was a positive one. It certainly was a memorable one for me.

We have multiple opportunities to help bear each other’s burdens here, today, in Bountiful, Utah. There is much of pain and suffering that we can help alleviate when we look at those in need here in our neighborhoods and communities, at our workplaces, in our families, and in our very own homes. There are numerous chances to find those we can serve as we seek for and follow promptings through the Holy Ghost.

Fourth: Enduring adversity helps us to develop Christlike qualities of love, compassion, and empathy for others.

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey tells the story of being on a train one day, where he found himself annoyed by two very noisy kids causing a disturbance to everyone around them. He noticed that the father was doing nothing about them. After a moment of restraint, he approached the father. Here’s Dr. Covey’s account of what happened next:

“Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?

“The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, ‘Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.’

“Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. Everything changed in an instant.”

Along these same lines, President Eyring shared what he said was some of the best advice he’d ever been given: “When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time” (“In the Strength of the Lord,” April 2004 general conference).

Or, in the words of one of my favorite hymns of the Church: “In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eyes can’t see” (Hymns, no. 220, “Lord, I Would Follow Thee”).

A few years ago, while I was looking for a new place to live, I had a few leads to move in with some friends; and yet I had the distinct impression I needed to move back in with my parents for a short while. It was not long after this that I learned one big reason, perhaps, I may have felt this impression: My father was diagnosed with dementia. It was astonishing to observe how quickly this illness took its toll on both his mind and on his body. Over the ensuing 18 months, I learned a great deal about patience, charity, and humility as I watched him suffer.

In the process, I was given a great gift: this small window of precious time, time I now look back upon as sacred, to give back to my father some of what he had given me all of my life before then. It was in simple things like driving him to get his hair cut or taking him out to lunch. It was mostly through just spending time sitting by him and talking to him as we watched sports on TV.

It’s been said that the only two guarantees in life are death and taxes. Well, after enduring his illness as well as anyone could have, Dad died on April 15 last year. On that final day of his mortal life, I was granted one additional blessing—a tender mercy to me—in the form of a spiritual prompting. By this point, Dad’s motor skills had deteriorated to the point he could not even walk around on his own, and we were forced to put him in a home where he could be cared for. He would be there for just nine days.

The next day was Easter, so my thought initially was to buy him some Easter candy that Saturday and then to bring it to him on Easter Sunday, when I could spend more time with him. Instead, the prompting was to go and see him that afternoon and not to delay. For one last moment, I got to visit with Dad, to embrace him and to tell him one last time that I love him. Jana and I had just begun dating at this time, and she felt the same prompting.

Just a few, short hours later, the phone call came that Dad had been rushed to the hospital in cardiac arrest. By the time we arrived in the emergency room, he was gone. And yet, in the confusion and the chaos, I was at peace. I was comforted. Though I was deeply saddened to lose him, and I still miss him today, I became reacquainted with the Comforter that night and in the days and weeks that would follow.

When my siblings and my mother and I left the hospital, it was past midnight and it had become Easter Sunday. The timing of it all was, in my mind, no coincidence. It was a blessed reminder from a loving Heavenly Father that He is in control. Because of Easter and a loving Savior—“dearly, dearly has he loved!” (Hymns, no. 194, “There Is a Green Hill Far Away”), as we sang in the sacrament hymn—Dad lives on, and I will have the chance to embrace him again.

Perspective is an extraordinary blessing. Elder Orson F. Whitney of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire” (Improvement Era, Mar. 1966, 211).

How grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which encompasses so many griefs and woes and strengthens us to endure the crosses we are called to bear in this life, whichever crosses they may be.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Trying to comprehend the trials and meaning of this life without understanding Heavenly Father’s marvelously encompassing plan of salvation is like trying to understand a three-act play while seeing only the second act. Fortunately, our knowledge of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement helps us to endure our trials and to see purpose in suffering and to trust God for what we cannot comprehend.

“Revealed truths reassure us that we are enclosed in divine empathy. As Enoch witnessed, we worship a God who wept over needless human misery and wickedness (see Moses 7:28-29, 33, 37). Jesus’ perfect empathy was ensured when, along with His Atonement for our sins, He took upon Himself our sicknesses, sorrows, griefs, and infirmities and came to know these ‘according to the flesh’ (Alma 7:11-12). He did this in order that He might be filled with perfect, personal mercy and empathy and thereby know how to succor us in our infirmities. He thus fully comprehends human suffering. Truly Christ ‘descended below all things, in that He comprehended all things’ (D&C 88:6). …

“Part of enduring well consists of being meek enough, amid our suffering, to learn from our relevant experiences. Rather than simply passing through these things, they must pass through us and do so in ways which sanctify these experiences for our good (see D&C 122:7). Thereby, our empathy, too, is enriched and everlasting” (“Enduring Well,” April 1997 general conference).

I add my testimony his. I testify that we have an all-wise, all-knowing, all-loving Savior who shows us how to love as He did. President Russell M. Nelson leads His Church on Earth today. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Death, Taxes, and Other Sure Things

I recently gave a talk in church. The occasion, in case you hadn't guessed from my recent posts, was Dad's funeral. Here is what I spoke about:

There is an old saying that the only sureties in life are death and taxes. Well, Dad passed away April 15.

Dad had a great sense of humor. But in all seriousness, and in the few minutes I have today, I'd like to talk about some of the most important things he gave me (besides nearsightedness and the bald spot):

1) Time. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught: "In family relationships, love is really spelled T-I-M-E." Dad gave us his time, and he was thoroughly invested in our lives. Whether it was yelling from the sidelines as a coach or just an anxious parent, he was there at our basketball and soccer games and hardly ever missed one. He supported us in our hobbies and interests. We knew he cared, and his love language was the time he gave.

2) Work. Dad taught us to work. The plowboy who grew up on a farm in Smithfield and learned the value of an honest day's labor taught his children that you don't get something for nothing and you have to work for it. We were given an allowance, but we had to do our chores (weeding, mowing the lawn, etc.) to earn it. For years, we had a paper route, waking up at 5:00 or 5:30 a.m. even on school days and holidays, and he worked right alongside us, never taking a cent for himself. Those lessons carried me through part-time jobs in high school and college and into the present.

3) He taught me five simple words that stand out: excuse me, please, and thank you. I vividly remember him teaching me to use these words when I was growing up. Good manners were and are important. Knowing and using these words have helped me open countless doors in my daily interactions with people and my work experience.

Though Dad passed on a Saturday night, as a family we left the hospital when it was already Sunday morning. Easter Sunday! The timing of it all, we think, was not a coincidence. And the most important message in the world is still, as the Prophet Joseph Smith described, that Jesus Christ "died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it."

In a world rife with "fake news," rumors of wars, fads that come and go, the philosophies of men, and other false Christs the prophets saw would be abundant in our day, my knowledge of the Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ is, in addition to death and taxes, the third sure thing in my life; and not only do I believe it, but I also know it through the Holy Spirit.

In the New Testament, Paul said that "this thing (the gospel) was not done in a corner" (Acts 26:26), and Peter spoke of the world's "cunningly devised fables" (2 Peter 1:16). Elder Jeffrey R. Holland recently spoke on "cunningly devised fables" in his Face 2 Face event:

"This is not a cunningly devised fable. This is God's truth. I want all of you here and afar to know that I know that this is the work and kingdom of God on earth. I am more certain of that than anything I know, anything I have seen, anything I have ever heard, and anything I hope to embrace in the future."

Today, I echo what he taught. When we talk of the concepts of resurrection and eternal families, not only are these good or neat ideas; I testify that they are true! And that knowledge carries me at this time and will carry me in future days.

In an all-wise, all-loving Heavenly Father's magnificent plan, there is so much more in store for us than wearing halos and playing harps in heaven! He has so much more in store for us, and it is beautiful and wonderful to think of. Death is a necessary part of that plan. Though we mourn today, we also rejoice.

Paul said: "For now we see through a glass, darkly" (1 Corinthians 13:12). I know that Dad now sees clearly. I take great hope in the knowledge that he is reunited with his parents, my Uncle Dexter, and other loved ones who have gone on before.

Dad was sick for a long time. Some of his thorns in the flesh he carried for all of his life on Earth. He is now free of them. I don't know why Dad had to suffer through those nor the illness that ultimately claimed his mortal life. (How can any of us know for sure why these things happen while "we see through a glass, darkly"?)

Neverthless, like Nephi, though "I do not know the meaning of all things," "I know that he (God) loveth his children." I know that (1) our Heavenly Father loved Dad and (2) Dad loved his children and his grandchildren.

I testify of the importance of the gift of the Holy Ghost. His presence has been so important to me over the past week. When we got the call that Dad had been taken to the hospital, I felt urgency to get there, and yet I also felt peace. I feel at peace today. The Spirit, also known as the Comforter, has comforted when I have been sad, and He has given me also joy in the knowledge of these things, of which I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Dementors of Tryptophan

Following the conclusion of Thanksgiving dinner, the last football game of the day, and my tryptophan-induced nap, I settled down to get a little reading done Thursday night. I'm currently making my way through the Harry Potter series for the first time ever.

(Insert here reaction of horror and/or dismay and chants of "Unclean! Unclean!")

The initial waves of Harry Potter mania passed me by for one reason or another, possibly because I was technically already an adult when the books began to take the world by storm. I did, however, often attend midnight premieres (this is a thing we did Back in My Day, kids) of the movies with my siblings and their friends, and I always enjoyed them even though I did not necessarily understand the cause behind all of the jubilation. Likewise, I had a enjoyable experience seeing the spin-off film Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them last week.

Once upon a time, I also researched and wrote (and published) a brief biography on J.K. Rowling for a work project. I remain rather impressed with what she has been able to accomplish as an author and as a philanthropist, overcoming some rather difficult circumstances to get where she is.

Anyway, I'm a filthy Muggle, but I've been trying to atone for that. Currently, I'm onto the third entry in the series, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The books have not quite yet reached Lord of the Rings or Star Wars levels of symbolism for me yet; nevertheless, I did find myself empathizing with the characters when they first meet the dementors of Azkaban on the Hogwarts Express. These are the characters who, in their initial encounter with our heroes, bring only despair and misery.

Here are a few passages that describe their encounter:

"The thing beneath the hood, whatever it was, drew a long, slow, rattling breath, as though it were trying to suck something more than air from its surroundings."

"The cold went deeper than his skin. It was inside his chest, it was inside his very heart. . . . He couldn't see. He was drowning in cold. He was being dragged downward."

"'It was horrible,' said Neville. . . . 'Did you feel how cold it got when it came in?'"

"'I felt weird,' said Ron, shifting his shoulder uncomfortably. 'Like I'd never be cheerful again.'"

"He felt weak and shivery, as though he were recovering from a bad bout of the flu; he also felt the beginnings of shame. Why had he gone to pieces like that, when no one else had?"

One thing I learned about J.K. Rowling in my research was that she had lived through periods of major depression, and that she created the dementors as a representation of what the illness feels like. Having been through more than one episode myself, I concur wholeheartedly that the dementors very accurately represent what depression is like.

I've heard more than one person (including one in a sacrament meeting talk Sunday) remark that 2016 has been a really tough year. That's certainly been the case for me. I've learned or re-learned the lesson that problems and trials don't really ever go away completely; they just come at you in different forms. One month it's dementors, and the next it's three-headed dogs or Mandrakes or what-have-you. And I've also been reminded through an extremely difficult period of time that my own personal battle with my own dementors is not over, and it's not something that's "cured" like other illnesses; it's a fight I'll have to continue every day for the rest of my life in one way or another.

Even so, as I took in this message on Thanksgiving Day, having also had my parents (one of whom was not home for the holidays last year), my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and even two of my three favorite puppies around me for a good portion of the day, I couldn't help but realize how immensely blessed I have been this year, too. They are my favorite people in the world. In fact, my cup runneth over in many, many ways.

There are parts of my life that remain incomplete, but though the dementors would have me focus on those, I am trying to choose instead to focus on what I do have, and to control the things I can control. If my own experiences with the dementors haven't helped me to be more understanding, more patient, more kind, and more grateful, then those lessons have been wasted; but I'm trying to make sure they are never lost.

Another message given in the book, once the attack has been thwarted, is that eating chocolate helps you to feel better. Which is also 100 percent correct.

The Belonging You Seek

I'm going to go out on a limb today and make a real-life parallel using an example with something from Star Wars, which I may have done a dozen or so times before now. Also, it gives me an excuse to put up a photo of Daisy Ridley, so there's two reasons right there.

Bear with me.

For those who have not seen Episode VII, The Force Awakens, yet: (1) What's wrong with you? and (2) There is a scene near the middle of the film in which Maz Kanata, she of the Mandarin orange head, speaks to our heroine, scavenger Rey, about her destiny. Rey is worried because she desperately needs to get back home to Jakku, where she has been waiting for her family to return since she was left behind as a little girl.

In reply, Maz tells her that they're never coming back and, in the film's most poignant teaching moment, instructs her: "The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead."

Far be it from me to apply this particular moment to dating, but I'm going to do just that.

I think a good number of us (and here I refer to my fellow single adults) are trapped in the past for one reason or another. I know because I've tried to a date a number of people who lived with something in the past that haunted them and held them back: a previous relationship (even an engagement or marriage) that didn't work out and left them jaded; a death of a close friend or family member; and a bad date or even a stalking experience with a (member of a certain gender), leading to inaccurate belief that all (members of this gender) are bad or perverted or have ulterior motives. I also know because I've had conversations with a number of others, both male and female, about their various experiences.

Now when I list these reasons (and before the hate mail gets sent), let me state for the record that I have been through all of the above difficulties or challenges myself, and I validate them all. I do my best to mourn with those who mourn and to lift the burdens of those who are feeling the weight of their own challenges, too. There is a time to grieve or to be sad about what has transpired.

But when that frame of time stretches from months into years upon years, this is when, I believe, the belonging we seek, held firmly in a past that could never be, holds us back from progressing.

To give you a couple of examples, I dated someone for a short while who Dear John'd me by e-mail, letting me know that a relationship of hers that ended "more than a year ago" that she was "not over yet" meant that she was "just not looking for a relationship right now," even though we had met through an online dating site. (Yes, Paco was once a member of one of those sites. Ask me about it sometime over froyo; your treat.)

Another example is someone I dated who was wracked with guilt over the death of a family member she could have in no way prevented nor helped, and this had occurred a significant amount of time in the past. Despite my willingness to discuss the matter with her for what often seemed like four or five hours toward the end of every date, I could not perform the work of a professional trained to deal with such matters, and she refused to talk to a bishop, or a counselor, or anyone else about the matter. She refused to get help for her anxiety over the matter and was obsessed over the issue to the point of frustration.

Again, I repeat, a reasonable amount of time to grieve is understandable. But when an issue spirals into years upon years, it holds one back. It stops progression. And though we have eternity yet ahead to progress, I think our Heavenly Father also expects us to progress as much as we can here in this Earthly sphere.

Moreover, your decision to drop out of the dating market affects not only you but also another someone you could potentially make happy, and whom could make you happy in return. If not others.

If we will choose to see it, there is so much joy ahead for us all if we will but accept the reality that just about everyone lives with or has faced something very difficult for him/herself, that some degree or another of misery or trials have plagued all of our pasts. One of the great tests of this life is to face those things, to learn what lessons can be learned from them, and then to move forward.

I know this, as well, because I feel like I've had my share of problems, many of them out of my control, and some of which I've already shared here on Paco Nation. Some days, I feel like I've had more than my share.

To us all, I offer these words of encouragement:

"Don't give up, boy. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it. . . . You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

 -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Kira's Baptism

My niece Kira, who celebrated her 8th birthday last week, was baptized into the LDS Church Saturday by her father, my brother Dave, at their stake center in Woods Cross.

Nearly all of our immediately family members and their kids attended, though sadly none of our Utah County cousins were able to make it. Attendees included most notably Mom, who we're grateful was able to leave the hospital Friday night, fewer than 24 hours before the scheduled baptism ordinance. We certainly view this as a tender mercy, something which I wrote about a great deal in my last post. All week while she was being treated, her goal was to be able to make it home to be able to attend, and sometimes you are allotted those things you want in addition to those things you need. She has to be on oxygen for the time being, so we're taking things a little bit at a time and helping her as best we can as she makes her recovery.

Here's all of the Woods Cross family members, looking sharp:

It was a beautiful day and hopefully a memorable one for a great kid.

Another Birthday and Matters of the Heart

It's actually my niece's birthday today, though more will be coming about her soon, as a landmark event is taking place in her life in the next few days, and we have yet to make our annual birthday excursion together. Assuming she's not too busy . . . unlike some people.

Ahem! I share a birthday week with my niece, and due to circumstances I was unable to prevent, I turned another year older Monday.

I think age 11 or 12 was approximately the last time I fully expected people to make a big deal about my birthday, or at least it should have been. Still, it's wonderful to see people still try to make a fuss, each in their own way.

My caring, faithful Aunt Marilyn, for example, has never missed a single birthday . . . ever. Not even while I was overseas in Peru as a missionary. A letter, birthday card, and some money arrived over the weekend:

. . . and, as was requested, I purchased some ice cream with it:

It's really great to have people send you ice cream money during everything's-pumpkin-flavored season. I do not say sarcastically that this is perhaps one of the Lord's thousands, possibly tens of thousands, of little tender mercies that perhaps I do not always pay attention to, happening all around me daily.

I began the Big Day Itself Monday by conversing with Mom, who had suffered through a terrible weekend of sleeplessness, shortness of breath, and overall exhaustion. Though she had a doctor's appointment scheduled that afternoon, she looked even worse Monday. Her lips had turned blue, and she said, "I feel like I'm having a heart attack."

Off we went to the ER, where it was determined that she was suffering from congestive heart failure. No wonder she couldn't sleep for the past few weeks. The biggest, strongest heart I've ever known was in serious trouble.

With respect to her privacy, I won't go into any more details at this time, except to say that we've been worried, we've prayed, and we've tried to comfort those who stand in need of comfort. We're in the middle of that struggle as I type these words. We don't know exactly what's going to happen at this point, though we are grateful for the dedicated medical personnel seeing to her every need.

Yet during the week, I've also seen my family rally around the cause, sacrificing and giving of themselves freely to help out where help has been needed. I've seen neighbors come over with dinner, which may be one of the most cliché things about Mormon culture, yet it amounts to manna from heaven at times like these.

During general conference over the weekend, President Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:

"Life is filled with detours and dead ends, trials and challenges of every kind. Each of us has likely had times when distress, anguish, and despair almost consumed us. Yet we are here to have joy? . . ."

"Just as the Savior offers peace that 'passeth all understanding,' He also offers an intensity, depth, and breadth of joy that defy human logic or mortal comprehension. . . . His joy is constant, assuring us that our 'afflictions shall be but a small moment' and be consecrated to our gain."

And so, my Big Day was not really about me (nor did it have to be), but yet in a way it was; for I was surrounded all day by the people I cherish most, and whom love me most. I heard from literally hundreds of friends through social media, texts, e-mails, and phone calls.

Though as a family we lamented the circumstances that brought us together, we had each other, and through the Lord's promises, we will have each other for a long, long time, come heck or high water. And that was and is enough. To me, it is the most important of all of His tender mercies.