Paco Reviews: "The Lost City"

Of all the movies I've seen this year, The Lost City is now one of them.

If you've ever talked with me about my taste in movies and/or chick flicks, you may already know that I'm not a big fan of Sandra Bullock's work. Yeah, but While You Were Sleeping is like the greatest movie ever! "These mashed potatoes are SO CREAMY! ROFL!!!" you might say. Or: I wet my pants laughing every time Sandra snorts in Miss Congeniality! What about The Proposal, huh? Blah blah Hope Floats? Blah blah Practical Magic, huh?! Are you a murderer of joy, Paco?!?

To which I respond: That's great. I'm happy for you. It's just not for me. I can't explain it. Maybe it began when I went to the drive-in a number of years ago, and the second movie on the double feature was Speed 2: Cruise Control, one of the worst pieces of hud I've ever witnessed.

Anyhow, this week's $5.95 movie was The Lost City. I promised JB I would go into it with an open mind and would give Sandra a fair chance.

The plot: Loretta (Sandra) is a very successful (Harlequin) romance novelist. She's so good at it that if a bookshelf containing all her works were to tip over and fall on a cat, that kitty would instantly use up all nine of its lives.

Sandra's character has become a bit bored with the routine of promoting a new book and dealing with fans. She basically gets dragged onto the stage for a Q and A, yet most of the women are there to ogle her cover model associate Dash, played by Channing Tatum; all of the questions are directed at him.

Shortly after this, Loretta is kidnapped by Abigail Fairfx (Daniel Radcliffe), who's the bad guy in this probably due to the horcrux on his forehead. Because Loretta also studied linguistics in college, Abigail needs her to help translate a map and clues to finding the titular lost city and its treasures, located somewhere on a miniscule island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Dash pursues them to rescue her, with comic relief provided by Brad Pitt in what basically amounts to a cameo. Oscar Nuñez (from "The Office") also shows up later to provide more comic relief.

Then the hilarity ensues. I mean, hilarity probably began with the start of the movie for all I know, because my wavelength is different than that of Sandra's fans. But the hilarity is amped up to 11 once the action gets going.

It's a decent popcorn flick and might even be a date movie if that's your thing. I wouldn't say it's for kids. The scenes on the aforementioned island, from what I understand, were actually filmed in the Dominican Republic, and there are many gorgeous shots of that Caribbean isle. From my understanding, this flick is a tribute to Robert Zemeckis's Romancing the Stone.

Paco's rating: 5 out of 10

The Good: Sandra fans will be entertained, and I'm sure Channing fans will be, too. Both Pitt and Radcliffe ham it up in their respective roles and seem to be having a good time. Sandra's and Channing's 16-year age gap seems to be a sort of feminist answer to those many Hollywood movies over the years in which the male hero is decades older than his female love interest, or at least a blurb I read about the movie pointed this out. (Want to feel old? Sandra is just a couple years away from 60.)

The Bad: Sandra's purple sequin dress might cause some moviegoers to go into seizures, but I'm not a doctor. She wears it a lot. You get to see Channing's bare bum in one scene, while Sandra ogles the front side of him.

The Ugly: RatedPG-13 for swears and vulgarity, and also some spicy passages are read from Loretta's books.