Paco Reviews: "Where the Crawdads Sing"

Did I enjoy Where the Crawdads Sing? How shall I put this ... no, I may have kinda hated it. First film I've genuinely disliked this summer. It came highly recommended because of people I know who have read the book it's based on. But for me, it didn't deliver a positive experience.

First of all, I don't recall seeing a single crawdad (I had to Google what that is), let alone one singing. Blatantly false advertising.

Secondly, Kya, the protagonist, is likeable enough, but she has the habit of making very poor decisions when it comes to dating men. Beyond that, there's a lot of boating around the swamps of North Carolina and a lot of frowning. But hey, if that's your idea of a good time, more power to you.

Kya lives out on the bayou (?) with an abusive and neglectful family. One day, Mom has had enough of it and leaves. So does older brother. Eventually, Kya's abusive dad leaves, too (her family had the smarts to leave the derpy story before I did; I stayed until the credits finished rolling). This leaves Kya all by herself while she's still just a little kid. She survives by hunting mussels and selling them at the local grocery store.

She grows up and then meets Weenie Boyfriend #1. To his credit, he teaches her how to read. They hold hands and stare at each other a lot. And WB1 rounds the bases, if you know what I mean. Then, he completely disappears from Kya's life—no letters, no Crawdad Express telegram, nothing.

Weenie Boyfriend #2 comes around next, fresh from the laboratory where he was pretty much cloned from WB1. But alas, he's the angsty, ulterior-motived bad twin. After they also round the bases, he uses Kya pretty badly, and becomes abusive.

Then one day, WB2 is found dead. Uh oh. You-know-who is accused of the crime. Then the story plays out, yada yada, the end.

Paco's rating: 3 out of 10

The Good: North Carolina seems like a pretty state. The lead actress, Daisy Edgar-Jones, does a good job with the limited material given her.

The Bad: The movie spends so much time in the swamp that you'll want a shower afterward. It goes on a bit long for my tastes; movies over two hours long generally need a light saber or dinosaur or superhman comic book person or hobbit to keep me interested.

The Ugly: Rated PG-13 for a surprising amount of sexual content in a movie that seems to be aimed at teens, and cursing. I found a pic of a crawdad; they are also ugly.

Paco Reviews: "Thor: Love and Thunder"

 Chris Hemsworth is back as Thor, and so is ... Jane Foster (Natalie Portman)?! It's Thor: Love and Thunder, the fourth stand alone film in the franchise.

The film picks up right where we last saw Thor in the MCU: going on various adventures with the Guardians of the Galaxy. He's back in shape, too. But then a distress call goes out, and it involves Gorr, the god butcher (Christian Bale)—and he's looking for Thor. To bait Thor into a confrontation, Gorr kidnaps several of the children of New Asgard.

Meanwhile, Jane has learned she's in stage 4 of a deadly cancer, and things are looking bleak. But then Thor's old hammer, Mjolnir—previously crushed to pieces by Hela in Ragnarok—calls out to her. When Jane finds it, it transforms her into Mighty Thor! She has all the powers of Thor, plus  she has a reconstructed Mjolnir, which looks like it was glued together by me when I was in the third grade. According to legend, the hammer has healing powers, and Jane is in dire need of them.

Before long, Thor and Jane join forces, and Valkyrie, now reigning as the "king" of New Asgard, and rock monster Korg come along for the journey. There is a whole planet of other "gods" where they go to enlist help, but unfortunately they find little. It leads to a confrontation with Zeus (Russell Crowe), hamming it up in a cameo role. Things escalate very quickly after that, including a rekindling of Thor's and Jane's romance.

Paco's rating: 7 out of 10

The Good: JB and I enjoyed the ride, and afterward we agreed this was our second-favorite Thor movie, after Ragnarok. That has a lot to do with director Taika Waititi, who made both films. Once again, he delivers a rollercoaster ride, and it includes a lot of humor (particularly from Thor's new pet goats) and Guns 'n' Roses songs on the soundtrack. He also once again voices Korg. Bale is great as the villain and seems to be channeling Voldemort in the process.

The Bad: The Guardians aren't in the movie long enough. Also, Jane's transformation into Mighty Thor doesn't ge explained well. Other than that, very few nits to pick here.

The Ugly: The movie is rated PG-13 for swearing, some vulgarity, violence, and Chris Hemsworth's bare bum in one scene. There is also a love story involving Korg and his gay rock monster love interest, so do with that what you will.

Paco Reviews: "Elvis"

Remember early on in the pandemic when Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, both caught COVID-19, becoming basically the first celebrities not named Rudy Gobert with the virus? They were in Australia, where he was filming a movie at the time.

Well, fortunately, Tom and Rita both recovered, and that movie, Elvis, is now playing in theaters. Director Baz Luhrmann, whose previous films include Moulin Rouge!, the Leonardo diCaprio Great Gatsby, and William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, never does anything that he doesn't put all the whistles and bells into—and that is certainly the case with this movie in all 159 minutes of its length.

In Elvis, we see many moments from the King of Rock 'n' Roll's life. Included are glimpses into his teen years, before he became famous; his rise to fame, both in music and movies, through the aid of his manager (and professional grifter) Col. Tom Parker (Hanks); his being drafted into the military; his marriage to Priscilla and birth of daughter Lisa Marie; his downward spiral with drug abuse; his comeback in the late '60s; how and why he carried a gun with him on stage and the destruction of several TV sets with said weapon; and many other events. A great deal of the story is told through the point-of-view of Col. Parker, who ends up becoming the antagonist of the film.

I knew nothing about Austin Butler, who plays the title role, before seeing this movie. He does a wonderful job playing Elvis. He even sings a few of the King's songs (or at least he is credited as doing so in the end credits). Hanks is almost unrecognizable in the makeup he wears as Col. Parker. He bears an eerie resemblance to Richard G. Scott while he's on screen. (I don't know how else to describe it. But that's what he looked like to me.) David Wenham (Faramir in The Lord of the Rings trilogy), Dacre Montgomery (Billy in "Stranger Things"), and Kelvin Harrison Jr. (as Elvis's friend B. B. King) are good in supporting roles.

Paco's rating: 5 out of 10

The Good: Whether or not you're an Elvis fan, you'll be a fan of Austin Butler's acting. As Elvis rises to fame, you'll be rooting for him, and there are a lot of classic Elvis tunes performed. Hanks, as always, is solid.

The Bad: It's a bit long, at nearly three hours. Your bum may start to get a bit sore at two hours in. Also, this film may be strictly for Elvis and/or Baz Luhrmann fans.

The Ugly: It's a warts-and-all approach to telling the King's story, so we see Elvis doing his at-the-time scandalous "Elvis the Pelvis" dancing, philandering and otherwise messing around behind his wife's back, as well as his spiraling into drinking, drugs, and other vices. There is some swearing and vulgarity, which earns the film its PG-13 rating.

Jenna's Farewell

Our 19-year-old niece Jenna is now serving a mission for the Church! She's the first Sister Plowman to serve (in my lifetime, anyway).

On Sunday, she gave her farewell address in her ward's sacrament meeting in Woods Cross. We attended, along with several members on both sides of the family. She was later set apart, and as of Monday, she's doing home MTC study before flying out to Texas.

We are very proud of her and are looking forward to reading about the many wonderful experiences Jenna will have over the course of the next 18 months.

Eowyn

Well ... Leia now has a little sister.

We adopted Eowyn, another golden doodle, on Wednesday night. We have mostly been referring to her by the nickname Wynnie, which stands to reason because we are now potty training her, and she goes #2 a lot ... if you catch my drift.

Leia has been dealing with no longer being the Top Dog, so to speak, with a little bit of jealousy. But she's already made a bit of progress in just a few days' time. It's been fun watching the two of them wrestle together and interact in myriad other ways.

Independence Day 2022

We observed Independence Day together as a family Monday evening in a get-together at the clubhouse in Ben's and Adi's HOA in Centerville. A fire had broken out on the hillside in Centerville the night before, but fortunately no one on either side of the family had to evacuate their homes. And the show went on.

At our shindig, the goodies included hot dogs, chips, apple pie, watermelon, and homemade ice cream. Mom contributed this cake, with blueberries and strawberries in the form of the United Kingdom's Union Jack flag (get the tongue-in-cheek reference? She was born in England but is now a U.S. citizen):

JB is pretty amazing with our niblings, including two-year-old Sadie:

Kenna and the littles enjoyed a game of foosball, while others also played that and air hockey. Some watched The Sandlot, playing on the TV screen there.

No fireworks? No problem. This being a drought year (and also thinking of the Centerville fire), we skipped them this year and watched the West Bountiful show instead.

Paco Reviews: "Minions: The Rise of Gru"

Can I just state for the record that the Minions are adorable? Well, I'm stating it. I've enjoyed them in the four previous Despical Me/Minions films in the series, and they do not disappoint in the new Minions: The Rise of Gru.

Yes, the Minions are back, with their pseudo-Italian babbling and all of their hijinks. The year is 1976, bell bottoms and disco music abound, and Gru is a 12-year-old kid who doesn't fit in with the others at school. In fact, he tells his classmates that his life's ambition is to grow up to become a supervillain. Naturally, he is laughed at and mocked.

Gru also has the Minions, and he's already wreaking havoc on local people and businesses. But a job interview to join the Vicious 6 goes badly, and when Gru steals a talisman that the V6 had previously stolen, it becomes a cross-country race for the Minions to rescue Gru and bring him home. (Yeah, I may have skipped a few things, but that's the best summary I can come up with.)

If you've enjoyed previous Minions movies, you'll enjoy this one as well.

Paco's rating: 8 out of 10

The Good: It's a relatively clean (except the occasional fart gun) family flick, and it's appropriate for kids of almost all ages. It's funny. Julie Andrews (yes, Mary Poppins herself!) is great in a brief supporting role, as are Michelle Yeoh (last time I saw her was in Shang-Chi) and Alan Arkin, who assumes a role as Gru's mentor. The V6 cast is rounded out by Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren (yes, really—the Universal Soldiers reunite), Danny Trejo, Lucy Lawless, and Taraji P. Henson.

The Bad: Not much to pick at here. Perhaps the only question for kids may be why the main characters are actually "bad guys" of sorts. Of course, we know from the later movies that Gru becomes a "good" bad guy when he grows up.

The Ugly: That Julia Roberts/George Clooney comedy shown in the previews looks painfully bad. Prove me wrong, kids.

Paco Reviews: "Jurassic Park: Dominion"

Cloned dinosaurs are back on the screen for the sixth time for another cash grab exciting adventure in Jurassic World: Dominion. There are Tyrannosauruses and velociraptors and all sorts of others -auruses aplenty; in fact, it's kind of like a greatest hits collection of all of the movies in the franchise.

Not only are Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard also back, but the original Big Three: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh are in the cast, too. (Haha, I mean, of course, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill, who starred in the original Jurassic Park almost 30 years ago.)

If you missed the point at which the last film left off: Dinosaurs have escaped and now live all over the world. In many places, they've claimed  their own territory, and the humans have adapted. No Chuck-a-Rama or Golden Corral buffet is safe, as dinosaurs are likely there already.

Spurring the action this time along is the kidnapping of Owen's (Pratt) and Claire's (Howard) adopted daughter, Maisie. She's been taken to Dinosaur Central, run by evil bioengineering company Biosyn, in a remote location in Italy, and Owen and Claire venture off to rescue her. At the same time, Drs. Grant (Neil) and Sattler (Dern) have reunited and have traveled to the same location at the invitation of old friend Ian Malcolm (Goldblum) to investigate a plot to wreak havoc on the world's food supply.

I wouldn't be exaggerating too much to state that this plot involves swarms of locusts the size of cockroaches seen regularly in and around Peru and on the streets of Lima. For me, they were the most frightening creatures on the screen.

If you're a fan of the Jurassic Park/World film series, you'll have another fun ride. (If you're not, well, hopefully you'll find some things to like.) In addition to the main actors, there a number of cameos of other characters from the previous five films, including some of the dinosaurs, and it's sort of like a goodbye tour for looks to be the end of the second trilogy in the franchise.

Paco's rating: 9 out of 10

The Good: The CGI is once again wonderful, and that alone is worth watching on the big screen. The movie and its cast don't take themselves too seriously and have a good deal of fun in the process.

The Bad: It's quite violent, because dinosaurs still tend to eat the humans they meet, and I wouldn't recommend it for small kids.

The Ugly: Some foul language. Nothing vulgar that I can think of.