Well! The weather is starting to warm up slightly as we move into some lousy Smarch weather this week. But that's not what this post today is about.
Rather, it's a post about our relationship with the next door neighbors. This relationship has been somewhat cool as long as I have known (or, more accurately, been acquainted with) them. They are technically members of our ward but are not active, nor have I once seen them in our ward building. (Editor's note: No, this of course has no bearing on whether or not these are good people. It's just that most of the people in my neighborhood I've become acquainted with have come through our participation in the ward.)
I have, of course, run into the neighbors here and there in the nearly two years now that JB and I have bordered the same space as them, plus the 1+ year JB and dated/were engaged that she lived there before I moved in.
Our encounters with them were often the same; I would wave and/or say hello (like Mom and Dad taught me to do), and the husband would not ever say or do anything to acknowledge it. The wife sometimes would. Often, they would be with their kids in the family car, so I would chalk it up to their being busy with them and try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Out of nowhere one December day, they brought us over some holiday goodies while one of us was recovering from a medical procedure. More recently, their two little girls showed up on our doorstep selling Girl Scout cookies. Four boxes of Samoas and Tagalongs later, we were having an actual conversation with our neighbors.
A few minutes after they delivered the cookies, JB and I got in the car to head off to a family gathering, and I happened to glance at the husband who (get ready for this ... as in the oft-played-at-sporting-events-song "Get Ready for This") waved and smiled at us as we drove off.
By small and simple things is the lesson here ... I guess? The other lesson being: Girl Scout cookies are still one of the greatest forces for good in the universe.
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Thursday, March 5, 2020
Sunday, June 23, 2019
Semper Fi
"A soft answer turneth away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1).
Today at church, I watched as a new brother to the ward sat down near me in elders quorum. He had long hair, tied in a ponytail. Soon after he sat, one of the elderly brothers sitting behind him made a comment to another elderly brother next to him that he wanted to clip off the ponytail.
Insert brief tense pause here.
Instead of moving to another seat or ignoring them, this new brother instead turned around, smiling the whole time, and introduced himself to these two elderly brothers. After a few moments, he was laughing and joking with them. He told them that he had served in the U.S. Marines for a number of years and that he always had to keep his hair very short during this time, and now he was doing something else with his hair. He was proud of it, and he said his girlfriend loves it. After the meeting ended, he talked and joked with these brothers for an additional few minutes, and I think it's safe to say they were friends by this point.
This new brother handled this moment perfectly. It was the brightest spot of a memorable, wonderful day fellowshipping with my fellow Saints.
Today at church, I watched as a new brother to the ward sat down near me in elders quorum. He had long hair, tied in a ponytail. Soon after he sat, one of the elderly brothers sitting behind him made a comment to another elderly brother next to him that he wanted to clip off the ponytail.
Insert brief tense pause here.
Instead of moving to another seat or ignoring them, this new brother instead turned around, smiling the whole time, and introduced himself to these two elderly brothers. After a few moments, he was laughing and joking with them. He told them that he had served in the U.S. Marines for a number of years and that he always had to keep his hair very short during this time, and now he was doing something else with his hair. He was proud of it, and he said his girlfriend loves it. After the meeting ended, he talked and joked with these brothers for an additional few minutes, and I think it's safe to say they were friends by this point.
This new brother handled this moment perfectly. It was the brightest spot of a memorable, wonderful day fellowshipping with my fellow Saints.
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
The Audacity of Thoughts and Prayers
Bad news, it seems, comes in threes. And that's exactly what happened at JB's and my respective workplaces recently.
Over the course of a week's time, the spouse of one of JB's coworkers unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. At my workplace, a coworker's mother passed away following heart surgery. A few days later, I learned that the 10-year-old nephew of our boss had been involved in a horrible car accident and had been taken to the hospital in critical condition.
This last piece of news, making the it third piece of very bad news in a week's time, was delivered by the boss's wife, who also works for the company. She was distraught, as you'd imagine any family member would feel about her nephew. I told her, in all sincerity, that for whatever she thought thoughts and prayers were worth, she'd have JB's and mine. I told her I didn't mean that to sound cliché.
Oh, those despicable thoughts and prayers. Do a Google search for images related to "thoughts and prayers" (I did while working on this post, and I triple-dog dare you to do the same), and you'll see just what people out there in the world think thoughts and prayers are really worth, which is not very much. In fact, one of the most offensive things you can do these days, apparently, is to send "thoughts and prayers" when any kind of tragedy occurs. The Thought Police make sure of this all over social media.
This sort of judgment from the Thought Police, of course, is based on two basic suppositions: (1) that those who send thoughts and prayers do so independent of any sort of action or effort, what we in Christianity would call faith without works; and (2) that if thoughts and prayers actually worked, then God would drop whatever He's doing somewhere in the Earth or out in the universe and would personally intervene to stop gun violence, natural disasters, and/or any other kind of senseless tragedy, as if thoughts and prayers magically controlled the Supreme Being and His will for all mankind.
Thoughts and prayers are deemed to be either insulting or worthless, or both.
I beg to differ. Because thoughts and prayers, sometimes, are all we have. When we hear of tragedies, it's often all we can offer. And I do not believe in a God on whom thoughts and prayers fall on deaf ears. On rare occasions, He does intervene. But most of the time, He does not, because (1) it would thwart this little thing He gave us called free agency; (2) His judgments will come in a later day, and they will be just on the unrepentant and merciful toward those who call on His name; and (3) oftentimes, we must be the answers to prayer, and this often comes through the promptings of the Spirit.
I can't begin to count the number of times other people have been God's answer to my prayers. I like to think that I've been prompted by the Spirit, on more than one occasion, and during times when I've been worthy to hear His voice, to do something for someone that may have made a difference to that person. And when I've offered prayers that, at times, at first seemed to fall on deaf ears, I've simultaneously been given trials that have made me more empathetic or sympathetic, more patient, and more understanding of the burdens others bear.
When I look at things from that perspective, not a single thought and prayer has ever been wasted or worthless.
When tragedies aren't too far from us that we can do something to help, well, I also believe in a God who expects us to pray to Him as if everything depended upon Him while also working as if everything depended upon ourselves. If we can donate time and/or money to a worthy cause, I believe He expects us to do so. If we are prompted to do something kind for someone in need, I believe we should. No act of kindness is ever wasted, either.
If we're talking guns, I believe we won't survive as a nation without both prayer and action. I pray for a country that is going downhill morally, in which the disintegration of the family is, as the prophets have forewarned, bringing about calamities. I also believe that measures should be taken to keep guns from the hands of those who should not have them while also believing that criminals don't follow laws and a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun. Both schools of thought are not mutually exclusive. But perhaps that is a conversation best had another time.
We can talk about it over pizza. Your treat!
Over the course of a week's time, the spouse of one of JB's coworkers unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. At my workplace, a coworker's mother passed away following heart surgery. A few days later, I learned that the 10-year-old nephew of our boss had been involved in a horrible car accident and had been taken to the hospital in critical condition.
This last piece of news, making the it third piece of very bad news in a week's time, was delivered by the boss's wife, who also works for the company. She was distraught, as you'd imagine any family member would feel about her nephew. I told her, in all sincerity, that for whatever she thought thoughts and prayers were worth, she'd have JB's and mine. I told her I didn't mean that to sound cliché.
Oh, those despicable thoughts and prayers. Do a Google search for images related to "thoughts and prayers" (I did while working on this post, and I triple-dog dare you to do the same), and you'll see just what people out there in the world think thoughts and prayers are really worth, which is not very much. In fact, one of the most offensive things you can do these days, apparently, is to send "thoughts and prayers" when any kind of tragedy occurs. The Thought Police make sure of this all over social media.
This sort of judgment from the Thought Police, of course, is based on two basic suppositions: (1) that those who send thoughts and prayers do so independent of any sort of action or effort, what we in Christianity would call faith without works; and (2) that if thoughts and prayers actually worked, then God would drop whatever He's doing somewhere in the Earth or out in the universe and would personally intervene to stop gun violence, natural disasters, and/or any other kind of senseless tragedy, as if thoughts and prayers magically controlled the Supreme Being and His will for all mankind.
Thoughts and prayers are deemed to be either insulting or worthless, or both.
I beg to differ. Because thoughts and prayers, sometimes, are all we have. When we hear of tragedies, it's often all we can offer. And I do not believe in a God on whom thoughts and prayers fall on deaf ears. On rare occasions, He does intervene. But most of the time, He does not, because (1) it would thwart this little thing He gave us called free agency; (2) His judgments will come in a later day, and they will be just on the unrepentant and merciful toward those who call on His name; and (3) oftentimes, we must be the answers to prayer, and this often comes through the promptings of the Spirit.
I can't begin to count the number of times other people have been God's answer to my prayers. I like to think that I've been prompted by the Spirit, on more than one occasion, and during times when I've been worthy to hear His voice, to do something for someone that may have made a difference to that person. And when I've offered prayers that, at times, at first seemed to fall on deaf ears, I've simultaneously been given trials that have made me more empathetic or sympathetic, more patient, and more understanding of the burdens others bear.
When I look at things from that perspective, not a single thought and prayer has ever been wasted or worthless.
When tragedies aren't too far from us that we can do something to help, well, I also believe in a God who expects us to pray to Him as if everything depended upon Him while also working as if everything depended upon ourselves. If we can donate time and/or money to a worthy cause, I believe He expects us to do so. If we are prompted to do something kind for someone in need, I believe we should. No act of kindness is ever wasted, either.
If we're talking guns, I believe we won't survive as a nation without both prayer and action. I pray for a country that is going downhill morally, in which the disintegration of the family is, as the prophets have forewarned, bringing about calamities. I also believe that measures should be taken to keep guns from the hands of those who should not have them while also believing that criminals don't follow laws and a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun. Both schools of thought are not mutually exclusive. But perhaps that is a conversation best had another time.
We can talk about it over pizza. Your treat!
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Pay It Forward
For the second consecutive Christmas season, the Church is advertising its Light the World initiative and encouraging both Latter-day Saints and people in general to perform at least one kind deed every day in December.
Well, we went out to dinner Saturday night at one of our favorite local spots, the Nacho House, and enjoyed a good meal with JB's sister and her family; there were six of us in all. When our waiter dropped off our bill, this is what it looked like:
A couple sitting in the booth next to us, who did not say a word to us all evening, had paid for all six meals. We were floored.
I don't know if this gesture was this couple's daily Light the World act of service or it was just a nice thing they felt like doing, but either way we were grateful for it. JB and I also resolved to pay it forward soon, buying dinner for someone else anonymously at another local restaurant on our next night out for dinner.
Well, we went out to dinner Saturday night at one of our favorite local spots, the Nacho House, and enjoyed a good meal with JB's sister and her family; there were six of us in all. When our waiter dropped off our bill, this is what it looked like:
A couple sitting in the booth next to us, who did not say a word to us all evening, had paid for all six meals. We were floored.
I don't know if this gesture was this couple's daily Light the World act of service or it was just a nice thing they felt like doing, but either way we were grateful for it. JB and I also resolved to pay it forward soon, buying dinner for someone else anonymously at another local restaurant on our next night out for dinner.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Weekends, Holidays, and All Throughout May
"I before E, EXCEPT after C,
And when sounding like A, as in neighbor and weigh,
And on weekends and holidays and all throughout May,
And you'll always be wrong, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!"
-Brian Regan
With some people, you just can't win. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how you act, and/or no matter how kindly you try to treat them, in spite of their rudeness and/or indifference, they will always be infallible, and you will always be a babbling idiot.
I have a co-worker like this right now. I've tried to get along with this person to the best of my ability. He never says simple, polite things such as "please" or "thank you." Whenever any kind of discrepancy, miscommunication, or other type of problem arises, he always sighs, frowns, shakes his head, and says something such as, "You people in the office!"
When this happens, I pick up my three-hole punch and smash in his teeth.
Actually, that's what I would do if left to my own devices and I weren't, in reality, the loveable, gentle, forgiving, humble soul you all know.
Have you ever dated a person who falls into the category of someone who always has to be right, and this at the expense of you always being wrong? I have, and it doesn't do much for your self-esteem to have this constantly going on.
Earlier today, I read something about Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt and the fact that, apparently, from the outset of their marriage, his wife apparently criticized and belittled him for decades on end. My heart went out to the guy when I read that. Not a happy place to be, in spite of all of the philandering he took part in (which the book also discusses).
It's tough to turn the other cheek in these moments and while dealing with toxic people like these. But, often, it's really the only option. If you let it, something like this can spoil your entire day.
I'm trying not to let that happen, one encounter at a time. Throughout May and during the rest of the year, as well.
And when sounding like A, as in neighbor and weigh,
And on weekends and holidays and all throughout May,
And you'll always be wrong, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!"
-Brian Regan
With some people, you just can't win. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how you act, and/or no matter how kindly you try to treat them, in spite of their rudeness and/or indifference, they will always be infallible, and you will always be a babbling idiot.
I have a co-worker like this right now. I've tried to get along with this person to the best of my ability. He never says simple, polite things such as "please" or "thank you." Whenever any kind of discrepancy, miscommunication, or other type of problem arises, he always sighs, frowns, shakes his head, and says something such as, "You people in the office!"When this happens, I pick up my three-hole punch and smash in his teeth.
Actually, that's what I would do if left to my own devices and I weren't, in reality, the loveable, gentle, forgiving, humble soul you all know.
Have you ever dated a person who falls into the category of someone who always has to be right, and this at the expense of you always being wrong? I have, and it doesn't do much for your self-esteem to have this constantly going on.
Earlier today, I read something about Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt and the fact that, apparently, from the outset of their marriage, his wife apparently criticized and belittled him for decades on end. My heart went out to the guy when I read that. Not a happy place to be, in spite of all of the philandering he took part in (which the book also discusses).
It's tough to turn the other cheek in these moments and while dealing with toxic people like these. But, often, it's really the only option. If you let it, something like this can spoil your entire day.
I'm trying not to let that happen, one encounter at a time. Throughout May and during the rest of the year, as well.
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