Paco Reviews: "The Lost City"

Of all the movies I've seen this year, The Lost City is now one of them.

If you've ever talked with me about my taste in movies and/or chick flicks, you may already know that I'm not a big fan of Sandra Bullock's work. Yeah, but While You Were Sleeping is like the greatest movie ever! "These mashed potatoes are SO CREAMY! ROFL!!!" you might say. Or: I wet my pants laughing every time Sandra snorts in Miss Congeniality! What about The Proposal, huh? Blah blah Hope Floats? Blah blah Practical Magic, huh?! Are you a murderer of joy, Paco?!?

To which I respond: That's great. I'm happy for you. It's just not for me. I can't explain it. Maybe it began when I went to the drive-in a number of years ago, and the second movie on the double feature was Speed 2: Cruise Control, one of the worst pieces of hud I've ever witnessed.

Anyhow, this week's $5.95 movie was The Lost City. I promised JB I would go into it with an open mind and would give Sandra a fair chance.

The plot: Loretta (Sandra) is a very successful (Harlequin) romance novelist. She's so good at it that if a bookshelf containing all her works were to tip over and fall on a cat, that kitty would instantly use up all nine of its lives.

Sandra's character has become a bit bored with the routine of promoting a new book and dealing with fans. She basically gets dragged onto the stage for a Q and A, yet most of the women are there to ogle her cover model associate Dash, played by Channing Tatum; all of the questions are directed at him.

Shortly after this, Loretta is kidnapped by Abigail Fairfx (Daniel Radcliffe), who's the bad guy in this probably due to the horcrux on his forehead. Because Loretta also studied linguistics in college, Abigail needs her to help translate a map and clues to finding the titular lost city and its treasures, located somewhere on a miniscule island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Dash pursues them to rescue her, with comic relief provided by Brad Pitt in what basically amounts to a cameo. Oscar Nuñez (from "The Office") also shows up later to provide more comic relief.

Then the hilarity ensues. I mean, hilarity probably began with the start of the movie for all I know, because my wavelength is different than that of Sandra's fans. But the hilarity is amped up to 11 once the action gets going.

It's a decent popcorn flick and might even be a date movie if that's your thing. I wouldn't say it's for kids. The scenes on the aforementioned island, from what I understand, were actually filmed in the Dominican Republic, and there are many gorgeous shots of that Caribbean isle. From my understanding, this flick is a tribute to Robert Zemeckis's Romancing the Stone.

Paco's rating: 5 out of 10

The Good: Sandra fans will be entertained, and I'm sure Channing fans will be, too. Both Pitt and Radcliffe ham it up in their respective roles and seem to be having a good time. Sandra's and Channing's 16-year age gap seems to be a sort of feminist answer to those many Hollywood movies over the years in which the male hero is decades older than his female love interest, or at least a blurb I read about the movie pointed this out. (Want to feel old? Sandra is just a couple years away from 60.)

The Bad: Sandra's purple sequin dress might cause some moviegoers to go into seizures, but I'm not a doctor. She wears it a lot. You get to see Channing's bare bum in one scene, while Sandra ogles the front side of him.

The Ugly: RatedPG-13 for swears and vulgarity, and also some spicy passages are read from Loretta's books.

Plowman Family Dinner/April 2022

On Sunday, we gathered for monthly family dinner at Ben's and Adi's home in Centerville. The whole gang was there this time as we partook of different kinds of casseroles, salad, veggies, peanut butter bars, and other goodies.

This was our (JB's and my) first opportunity to meet Ben's and Adi's new puppy, Mochi. She is a labradoodle.

Leia may not be ready to meet her just yet.

Paco Reviews: "Morbius"

Every once in a while, a sibling or extended family member or co-worker or the guy taking my order at Apollo Burger will stop me and say, "Hey, Paco! Have you seen the latest movie? You go to the movies a lot; is this one worth seeing in the theater? on DVD? when it comes to Hulu? or ... never ever?"

I'm happy to oblige, because I love movies, and I have opinions about them. I love great movies, and I also like terrible movies, because they end up being unintentionally fun and offer a number of "Mystery Science Theater 3000"-worthy popcorn gallery comments. (I see the bad movies so you don't have to ... unless you want to.) The mediocre movies—those that are neither great nor terrible—don't do much for me.

Anyhow, I go to our nearby theater frequently. The seats are comfortable, the popcorn is always fresh, and the people who work there are nice, even when I spill my drink on the floors they've just swept and mopped. With my current work schedule, I actually have Tuesdays off, and all seats at the local Megaplex are just $5.95 on Tuesdays—be they luxury or 3D or even the motion sickness-inducing D-BOX ones (it was one-and-done for me with those). Depending on JB's work schedule, she'll sometimes go with me on Tuesday nights or over the weekend.

Being OCD like I am, I even keep track of the movies I've seen over the years. IMDB.com is not only a good source to look up trivia and other things about movies, but it also allows you to rate films you've seen, on a scale of 1 to 10 stars. Want to know what rating I gave Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde, which I saw in 2003 because my sister-in-law had free passes? (Answer: 2.) I have rated over 25,000 films and TV episodes; keep in mind that this is more than two decades' worth of viewing.

So anyway, this week's movie was Morbius, starring creepy dude Jared Leto as Dr. Michael Morbius. I remember Jared being the guy in Claire Danes's school that she had a mad crush on in 'My So-Called Life," which was a show I sometimes watched back in the '90s. These days ... not too sure about Jared being the hot guy. I saw him as a guest on Jimmy "Thank Goodness I Have Good Writers" Fallon's "Tonight Show" the other night when he stopped by to plug the movie, and he (Jared) kinda gave off the creepy vibe then, too. Maybe it's just me? The guy has won an Oscar, so take my opinion for whatever it may be worth.

Dr. Morbius is a gifted scientist. He even wins a Nobel Prize but, like a hipster, rejects it because hipster reasons. He also, unfortunately, has a terrible blood disorder that will severely limit his life span. His best buddy Milo, played by eleventh Doctor Who Matt Smith, also has this disease. Morbius finds something that apparently will work ... but it also turns him into a vampire Mr. Hyde, and then all heck breaks loose. Even more heck breaks loose when Milo injects himself unsupervised, and the two lifelong friends find each other on different ends of the good/bad spectrum. Morbius becomes a kind of Venom-like anti-hero and ultimately the only guy who can take down Milo.

If you're a Marvel fan, you may want to see Morbius to see where the story fits into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), which is now like 30+ movies and 10+ TV shows big and will basically conquer the world in a few years. Well, there are a few subtle references, like a copy of The Daily Bugle newspaper, plus a cameo at the end by (SPOILER ALERT) Adrian Toomes (Michael Keaton), aka the Vulture from Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Paco's IMDB rating: 4 out of 10

The Good: Fresh popcorn is always good when watching a flick. Matt Smith dances shirtless, if this does anything for you, ladies. It only cost me $5.95.

The Bad: It's very dark, it's violent. It's not quite as dark as The Batman, but it's nowhere near a feel-good movie. Morbius isn't necessarily a guy I want to root for; I felt more empathy toward Milo.

The Ugly: Rated PG-13 for violence, language, and excessive vampirism

Death, Taxes, and a Few Other Sure Things

I was asked to give a short talk in my ward's sacrament meeting today. I have posted my remarks below. Happy Easter, friends.

Jana and I recently watched the new Ken Burns documentary on Benjamin Franklin, one of our Founding Fathers. I’m a history buff, and I even majored in the subject in college until I realized one day, “Yikes, I’m majoring in history.” Franklin’s is, of course, the portrait on one of my favorite pieces of U.S. currency. If a hip hop musical were ever created about his life, I would most seriously consider listening to it.

It was interesting to me to learn that when the Constitution was adopted, he wasn’t completely sure it was last---though he hoped it would. He observed: “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” A cynic today might look at the state of the world and reach the same conclusion.

Five years ago this weekend, death and taxes converged for me on the same day when my father passed away following a long illness on Saturday, April 15 (2017). Earlier that day, I got the impression to go and visit him in the care center. Jana and I were dating at that time, and she got the same impression. I’m so glad we followed that prompting. Had I waited to go and visit him the next day, on Easter Sunday, with the Easter candy I planned to bring, it would’ve been too late.

On that day, I got to hug him one last time and tell him once more that I loved him. Just a few hours later, he was gone. The doctors had given him six months; he lasted only nine more days. Though it was an expected loss, it occurred unexpectedly quickly, and it was a painful one.

When I arrived at the hospital that night, Dad had already passed. My siblings and I recalled numerous funny stories we remembered about Dad; it was a mix of laughter amid the tears. Upon leaving the hospital, I suddenly realized that it was past midnight, and that the day had changed from Saturday night to Sunday morning---it was Easter morning! The timing of this loss was a tender mercy to me and to our family.

In addition, the Comforter came in an unexpected way. The words of a favorite scripture appeared in my mind as I drove home. I saw or heard them repeated very clearly:

“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die” (John 11:25-26).

In the April 1992 general conference, Elder Marion D. Hanks of the Seventy related the following:

“Let me share with you the tender story of an eleven-year-old boy named Philip, a Down’s syndrome child who was in a Sunday School class with eight other children.

“Easter Sunday the teacher brought an empty plastic egg for each child. They were instructed to go out of the church building onto the grounds and put into the egg something that would remind them of the meaning of Easter.

“All returned joyfully. As each egg was opened there were exclamations of delight at a butterfly, a twig, a flower, a blade of grass. Then the last egg was opened. It was Philip’s, and it was empty!

“Some of the children made fun of Philip. ‘But, teacher,’ he said, ‘teacher, the tomb was empty.’

“A newspaper article announcing Philip’s death a few months later noted that at the conclusion of the funeral eight children marched forward and put a large empty egg on the small casket. On it was a banner that said, ‘The tomb was empty’” (Ensign, May 1992, p. 11).

The tomb was empty---and yet that tomb with nothing and no one inside gave us everything! Our Savior gave us the two greatest gifts He could: triumphing over sin through the Atonement and over death with His Resurrection. Beyond death and taxes, the gospel gives us so many certain things in this life, and many reasons to have great hope in the next one.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught: “The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets concerning Jesus Christ, that he died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended to heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 121).

That is why we are here, today and every other week. We take the sacrament as an appendage to the Atonement and the Resurrection. We meet here on Sundays as an appendage. Our missionary and temple work are appendages to it. We have so much to be grateful for and so many reasons to rejoice this day and every other as followers of Christ.

Brothers and sisters, I know that my Redeemer lives. I also know that the gift of the Holy Ghost is real and is also one of our Father’s greatest gifts to us. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Plowman Family Dinner/March 2022

On Sunday, we gathered for monthly family dinner at Ben's and Adi's home in Centerville. Hoagie sandwiches were on the menu, along with chips and drinks.

We celebrated our three March birthdays, including Jake's (10 years old) and JB's (still 28) and Kate's (7), pictured here:

Nobody was happier to receive attention than golden doodle Kuma, whom Jana gave a lengthy head scratch.

It's always a great time when we get together as a family. The weather cooperated, and it was an absolutely beautiful spring day.