Christmas 2023, Part 2

On Christmas Eve, we gathered for Plowman family dinner at Biz's and Jeff's home in West Bountiful. We had all the fixings for a Christmas dinner, including ham, candied yams, funeral potatoes, charcuterie, meatballs, and other goodies.

Dinner was followed by our annual Christmas story pageant. The niblings enthusiastically dressed up as shepherds, wise men, angels, stable animals, and of course Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. In fact, six-year-old Tanner got a little too into the part of playing the baby, seen here resting (and cooing?) in the lap of his three-year-old sister Sadie, who portrayed Mary:

As always, the kids had a wonderful time taking part. As part of the pageant, we continued the family tradition of listening to Dad's recording of the Christmas story as found in chapter of the gospel of St. Luke.

Perhaps we began a new tradition by also playing a recording of Mom reading The Monster at the End of This Book, a family favorite since my siblings and I were very young, while Biz turned the pages in the story. We collectively felt her loss rather acutely during this holiday season and on this particular night, too, but I think this moment helped many of us to feel she wasn't really that far away from us.

In fact, it gives me a great deal of comfort to think that if she weren't already one of the angels who sang at the birth of the Christ child 2,000+ years ago that she is one of those angels singing His praises now.

Next came the exchanging of gifts. The niblings drew names from a hat to purchase gifts for each other, while my siblings and I did the same for each couple in the family. This way, everybody got to open at least one thing. Sadie was especially grateful for and protective of her Frozen action figure set:

Then followed a few family games, including a new one, "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Cup," that Biz borrowed from the Johnson Files, one of our favorite Instagram accounts. You had to be there to grasp what exactly this involved—but it was fun for all who played.

Christmas Day was, well, a rather lazy day at our house. Santa Claus came and left goodies, and JB and I exchanged gifts, too. My wife is very thoughtful when it comes to this sort of thing. One of my favorite presents was this T-shirt, based on The Lord of the Rings book/film series:

Hopefully, your Christmas was a good one spent with your own loved ones, too. If not, here's hoping for better times ahead and a better year for us all in 2024.

Christmas 2023, Part 1

On Friday night, we hosted a Christmas gathering at our house for JB's side of the family. This night marked the culmination of another week of "Reindeer Games," our third annual series of "Minute to Win It" contests.

The evening's events included the candy cane drop, in which contestants had to try to get as many candy canes to stick on a line of string in 60 seconds' time. Tatum had the best score, with 4.

JB came up with some great prizes for the winners, including blankets, a board game, and a card game.

Improvables: Christmas Party 2023

Members of the Improvables improv troupe gathered together on Saturday, December 16, for our annual Christmas party and white elephant exchange. It's been a rough year for us, having lost our beloved friend and colleague Megan in August. Her absence was felt at this holiday party. But we also feel she would've wanted us to carry on, be happy, and enjoy each other's company, and that is what we did.

Jamie and Tanner hosted at their lovely home in Taylorsville. It was a very foggy evening, but still the majority of the troupe members found their way there. The food was delectable, and the company was even better.

Always one of the highlights of the Christmas season, our white elephant gift exchange was another memorable one. I might be a bit biased, but one of the noteworthy gifts contributed (by yours truly) was a pair of Pickle-as Cage (get it?) tree ornaments. There were bobbleheads, clothes, toys, and other goodies for young and older alike.

Perhaps our collective favorite was a box of approximately 200 odd-sized grey beanies, given together as one gift in a large box. (You had to be there.) There were enough beanies to go around that we all posed for the above picture.

Santa Parade 2023

A new Christmas season has brought with it a new Santa parade, this year being our ward's fourth annual event. By popular demand, JB and I were asked to reprise our roles as Mrs. and Santa Claus, respectively. With wonderful memories of last year's parade still at the forefront in our minds, we eagerly accepted the opportunity and considered it a great privilege.

Last year, breathing through the fake beard caused my glasses to fog up frequently, making it difficult for me to see people up close for a majority of our time on the float. Hence, I prepared this year's parade by growing out my beard following Halloween. JB then helped me out earlier on this evening by applying costume paint before the parade, giving me a bona fide white Santa beard.

It was another very cold December night, but at least we had chairs next to each other this time and could snuggle up together for some warmth.

Once again, this experience was not unlike being treated like a celebrity. Not only did several ward members come out of their homes to wave at us, but also several others not of our ward—people who happened to be driving by—pulled over and took their kids over to our float to take pictures with us. Three very anxious kids even hand-delivered letters to Santa ... which we will answer in the next few days.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Mom's Funeral

How do you measure the life and love of a wonderful mother? I have no idea. I won't even try. (I posted the tribute I gave at her funeral in my previous post, if you'd like to read what I shared.)

Our angel mother passed away on Sunday, November 19, at age 80. We held her public viewing a week later at Russon Brothers Mortuary in Bountiful on Sunday, November 26. Before the public arrived, there was a brief message about death and dying that one of the staff shared with our nieces and nephews, and he did very well with such a difficult topic.

I especially love the above pic of Kira consoling her younger cousin Katy.

Extended family members and good friends and neighbors poured in by the dozens to pay their respects, share their memories, and give hugs upon more hugs. This number included some of Dad's childhood friends, people we've known since we moved to Bountiful in the late 1970s, and even some dear friends from our Puerto Rico years who now live in Utah.

The well wishers on this evening included our (JB's) nephew Spencer, who is now laboring as a service missionary for the Church.

The next morning, on Monday, November 27, a second viewing was held at the West Bountiful 5th Ward building in West Bountiful. (This is the ward Mom belonged to before moving to the care center, and they graciously agreed to host.)

Once again, several extended family and friends were there to mourn with us. Something you're reminded of at times like these is that they really help you know who your true friends are. Gratefully, our family has been blessed with the very best friends, neighbors, and ward families (past and present) that I could possibly imagine.

Our Sanders cousins Shellie and Denny, Jamie and Julie, Scott and Claudia and a number of their kids, and Sherrie and Aaliyah made the trip (from California and Utah County, respectively) to be there with us.

Following a family prayer offered by my sister, the funeral service in the chapel came next. All six of Mom's kids spoke, too—and we actually spoke in the same order we previously spoke in for Dad's funeral in April 2017. Bishop David Wood, Jeff's brother, presided and was the concluding speaker.

Admittedly, it was the musical number, the Primary favorite "I'm Trying to Be like Jesus," performed by our nieces and nephews and accompanied by Summer on the piano, that made me tear up the most.

As one of the pallbearers, I accompanied Mom's coffin, along with my fellow pallbearers (my brothers and three oldest nephews), out to the waiting hearse at the conclusion of the service. Our family friend and neighbor Lance Lindsay stood outside to play "Scotland the Brave," "Amazing Grace," and other folk tunes on the bagpipes as we left. A Brit by birth, Mom absolutely adored the bagpipes, and she and Dad would have savored this precious moment.

(After that, watching the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan will never be the same for me.)

After being provided with sack lunches by the amazing Relief Society of the West Bountiful 5th Ward, we carpooled up to the Smithfield City Cemetery to lay Mom to rest beside our Dad. It was a chilly November afternoon (about 30° F), yet the sky was clear, and the sun still shone upon us.

Since my oldest brother, Mike, had previously dedicated Dad's grave, my siblings decided that I, as second oldest, should be the one to dedicate Mom's grave. This was perhaps the most humbling moment of my life. (I learned a lot about the ordinance by studying the Church's handbook of instructions, just in case you were wondering what a graveside dedication consists of.) I did the best knew how to do with such a significant responsibility.

After that, someone had the brilliant idea to pass out magic markers so that everyone could write one final message to Mom on her coffin. I think that this activity was most therapeutic for the niblings, because it gave them something tangible to do to convey their tender feelings.

No trip up to Smithfield is complete without a visit to Gossner's Dairy in Logan, so we stopped there for squeaky cheese and egg nog for the trip home. We had never tried their egg nog before, as we are usually in Cache Valley either around Memorial Day or in the summer on our way to/from Bear Lake. It was great!

Finally, to cap off the day, we gathered at Joy Luck Chinese restaurant back in Bountiful for dinner together with our cousins. One of Mom's favorite places to eat, where the owner has known her and most of us by name for many years, they provided us with another delicious meal.

You can't spell the word funeral without the word fun, per se, but there's not much about the experience that you'd hope to take part in frequently. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for eternal families, and I'm glad that we did it together.

Thank You, Mom

On Monday, my siblings and I all spoke at our mother's funeral service. Below is the text of my talk:

I’ve spent the past few days thinking of gratitude. With Thanksgiving this week, I’m sure it’s been on your minds, too. In the eight days since Mom passed away, I’ve also been thinking about her life and influence on me. And I’ve come to realize that the two things are very much intertwined. I’d like to share with you eight reasons why I am grateful for my mother.

Thank you, Mom:

… for keeping the faith. When you were 16 years old, missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints taught you the gospel. The young, nervous, and inexperienced elder had been in England for just a few weeks, but he had a light about him as he told you of Joseph Smith’s First Vision. You immediately knew it was true. You put your hand to the plow, so to speak, and never looked back. You remained true to this knowledge throughout your life. You loved the gospel and taught us to love it, too. Your life was your testimony to us.

… for prioritizing a temple marriage. Because you couldn’t find someone in your part of the globe who could take you to the temple, you came to Utah to look for him for yourself. That decision led to you Dad. I’m pretty sure you helped pray Jana into my life. It took a while, but it was worth waiting for.

… for going into the unknown. At age 21, you got on an airplane all by yourself to travel thousands of miles away to an unknown country in a faraway land. You put one foot in front of the other and kept walking. Many years later, when it was my turn to make my own journey all alone, a continent away, to my mission in Peru, a place where I knew no one, you had already shown me it could be done and that I could succeed.

… for teaching me the power of simple faith. Great things are brought to pass by small and simple things (see Alma 37:6). When Mike and I were just little and we lived in Michigan, Dad took the four of us home to Smithfield for the holidays for a visit. On the way home, we got caught in a terrible blizzard somewhere in Iowa. Our car’s engine died, and we crawled to a halt in the middle of nowhere. Dad got up to look at the engine and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it. Frustrated, he came back to the car and sat down. Mom suggested, “Why don’t we pray?” Dad’s response to that became legendary in our family: “Prayer?! At a time like this?! Well, that’s what Mom then did … and the car started right up. We traveled safely the rest of the way home.

… for giving selflessly. You carried me for nine months. Figuratively, you never stopped carrying me after that. You changed my diapers. You taught me to walk. When I was a nerdy kid who dressed up as Superman a lot, and I embarrassed you when you took me to the grocery store wearing that outfit, you warned me I shouldn’t climb up on the roof and actually try to fly. You packed school lunches, planned birthday parties, and bought me clothes that didn’t get me beat up at school. When we returned from delivering our paper route on more than one cold morning, you were waiting for us with hot chocolate on the stove. You were always there, and we could always count on you for anything we needed. You laughed with me and cried with me through myriad experiences.

… for teaching me to love learning. You taught me to read and helped instill in me a lifelong love of books. When I had books to read in high school and college, you got your own copy of those books and read them on your own so we could discuss them together. You and Dad watched “Jeopardy!” with us religiously. I remember listening to the West Side Story soundtrack that you would play on our record player. (That’s at least three music formats ago. Yes, kids, I’m old.) You helped us to love the theater and other creative pursuits. You helped me learn to play the piano and the trumpet.

… for taking an interest in my interests. You bought me He-Man, Optimus Prime, and the G.I. Joe hovercraft. You came to Jr. Jazz and church ball games and soccer games. One year, you were even my soccer coach when none of the dads stepped up to do it. (We took second place, losing only one game. One of my teammates on that team, Matt Murri, was just elected to the Bountiful City Council. Congrats, Matt!) When I was interested in art, you had some of my drawings framed and displayed them prominently in our home. You came to my improv shows even though you couldn’t hear most of what was being said.

… for being fun. You took us to movies and Five Points Mall and Lagoon and Disneyland. You also took us home to England. When you came to Peru with Mike and Ben to tour the country for a week and then bring me home, you came to love the people and places there as I had. This happened in February, when “Carnaval” is celebrated throughout Latin America. In Peru, the kids would go out with the lone goal of getting people wet, and they would use water balloons and hoses and everything else they could think of. Many people would stay home rather than go to church each February for fear of getting soaked. It turned into one big game of mud volleyball in some places. Anyway, we were walking through the streets of Cusco (a real place, kids, not just a place in a Disney movie) when a truck full of people pulled up. A group of kids got out, carried over a garbage can filled with water, approached Mom, and said, “Agua?” With her limited knowledge of Spanish, all she could reply with was, “Si, si!” They then dumped the entire contents of this garbage can over her head while her three cowardly sons ran for cover. (Not my finest moment!) But Mom thought it was hilarious, and she just laughed it off.

I’d like to conclude my remarks with something from one of Mom’s favorite movies, Mr. Holland’s Opus. She watched this movie I-don’t-know-how-many times. If you’re not familiar with it, it tells the story of Glenn Holland, a man who wants only to compose music. However, the reality is he can’t, because he has a wife and son to provide for and needs to pay the bills. So, he takes a job as a high school music teacher. The film recounts his more than 30 years as a music teacher and ends when he is forced to retire due to budget cuts. By this time, he still hasn’t composed his great symphony. His students past and present, however, throw him a surprise farewell assembly. One of those former students has by this time grown up to become governor of the state. She gives a speech that I’ve slightly adapted the language of here, and I feel it appropriate for Mom as we look back on her life:

"Mom had a profound influence on my life and on a lot of lives I know. But I have a feeling that she considers an important part of her own life misspent. She sometimes agonized over whether her own family would accept the gospel in the spirit world. In her final years, she was always saying she had so much Family History work left to do. But Mom didn't accomplish these things, at least that we know of. So, it might be easy for her to think herself a failure on this point. But she would be wrong, because I think that she's achieved a success far greater. Look around you, Mom—wherever you are. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. You've made history in your own family. Your work has only just begun, and you have all the time in the world to do it. We are your symphony. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life. Generations in this family, yet unborn, will call you blessed.

I was reading my scriptures yesterday when I came across this verse: “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable” (1 Corinthians 15:19).

Were it not for Christ and His Atonement and Resurrection, we would fall to pieces at times like these. We would truly be miserable. But because of Jesus Christ, and because He took away the sting of death, we have great reason to rejoice. Mom also loved Christmas, and as we now enter another Christmas season, we will have multiple reminders of Him and, therefore, countless reasons to rejoice. Another of her favorite movies was It's a Wonderful Life. Mom's life truly was wonderful.

If my nieces and nephews here are having a hard time today, I would invite you to remember the movie Inside Out and this important lesson: It takes Sadness to know Joy, and vice versa. It's OK to feel sad, especially at times like these, even though we might want to always have joy.

I'd like to bear my testimony that our Heavenly Father's plan is wonderful. I am grateful for the ministering of angels, and it gives me comfort to think that Mom may already be among their number. I'm grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost. I have spent the last week becoming reacquainted with Him, and the comfort and peace I have felt in spite of our loss has been overwhelming. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Thanksgiving 2023

This year's Thanksgiving was a somber one, since we had endured the loss of my mom four days earlier (more posts on that later coming up here on Paco Nation). Nevertheless, we persisted and made the best of one of our favorite holidays of the year.

JB's parents hosted us for a wonderful meal at their home in Grantsville on Thanksgiving Day. Also joining us were our brother-in-law Spencer and his and Nicole's kids, Alex and Riley. (Nicole was out of town, visiting friends from her mission in England.) We enjoyed turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and all of the fixings.

My in-laws aren't sports people, but they did turn on the Packers/Lions football game for me!

This meal was actually our second Thanksgiving of the month. Earlier in November, we hosted monthly family dinner for JB's side of the family at our home in Bountiful.

Not to be outdone, our third Thanksgiving (because why not?) followed this past Sunday for Plowman monthly family dinner at Steve's and Summer's home in North Salt Lake. This included more wonderful food and wonderful company.

It is still possible to feel great love amid great loss, fortunately. We count among our greatest blessings Heavenly Father's gift of a Savior, which makes eternal families and eternal life possible. That alone is worth giving Them thanks on this day and every other.

Mom's Obituary

My dear mother passed away apparently peacefully in her sleep on Sunday, November 19. I had the privilege of writing the bulk of her obituary, along with input from all of my siblings. You can read it here:

https://www.russonmortuary.com/obituaries/kathleen-plowman

Our Day Out with Ike 2023

On Saturday, we ventured to Nickelmania with our six-year-old nephew Ike for his annual birthday outing with Fun Aunt and Uncle. We had a great time!

Ike played car- and motorcycle-racing games, Space Invaders, Pac-Man, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jurassic Park, and several of the ticket games.

Altogether, we pooled over 2,000 tickets, so Ike walked away a very happy kid with this Minecraft sword (plus a few other goodies):

I got bonked on the head with it only once, which I would call a great success for this type of event.

Our Dinner with Kira 2023

Over the weekend, we took our 15-year-old niece Kira out to dinner for her birthday. A girl after our own hearts, she chose sushi. JB is a big fan and I am still learning, so off we ventured to our local Sushi Monster.

We enjoyed a delicious meal together. Even more, we enjoyed the adorable company. Kira is (and has been for many years) a great conversationalist. She's doing a lot of cool things in school and in her acting group at CenterPoint, and she's already got a driver's permit. So, look out folks.

Halloween 2023

Halloween! What a wonderful holiday, and one of my three favorite holidays of the year. (The other two are just around the corner now.)

JB and I ended up being a bit on the "Halloween Scrooge" side on the actual day of October 31 this year. We were out of toilet paper and eggs, so we couldn't vandalize our neighbors. We did, however, leave a bowl full of candy on the porch for trick-or-treaters—we're not maniacs, after all.

In the meantime, we stayed downstairs to watch a Halloween favorite, the 1985 cult comedy Clue (in case you were wondering). We ended up having a whopping total of four groups of trick-or-treaters come by. We were able to keep track of that number thanks to our new doorbell camera. Presumably, most of our neighbor kids got their trick-or-treating done at the Trunk-or-Treat the previous Friday.

We did dress up the kids, however, and chose a Star Wars theme. Because nerds. Leia became, well ... Princess Leia, while Wynnie (Eowyn) became Chewbacca:

It took a number of puppy treats to get even these few pics.

Our Day Out with Danny and Tanner

On Saturday, October 28, we took our eight- and six-year-old nephews, Danny and Tanner, on their birthday outing with Fun Aunt and Uncle. They chose Nickelmania, and we were more than happy to spend some time with them there.

JB and I split up, so that way we could do more damage. JB went off to play games with Tanner, while I accompanied Danny. Danny especially loved the motorcycle racing game (but then again, all the boys do), four-player Pac-Man, and the new-ish Space Invaders game (the one with which you shoot cannons at the screen).

Our combined ticket totals turned into these prizes:

Being the Fun Aunt and Uncle is a blast, and this outing was no exception. Who's up next? My loyal three readers will just have to wait and see.

Improvables: Fifteenth Annual Halloween Show

On the heels of the Trunk-or-Treat (later that same night) was my troupe's annual Halloween show at Bountiful Davis Art Center. This always brings out the dedicated fans as well as all of the weirdos, but I can't tell those two groups apart. And that's exactly how we love it to be.

I remained dressed up as Thor and MC'd the show. I was joined on stage by Brady (Waldo), Erica (Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare before Christmas), JoJo (wolfman), Keenan (one of the Peter Parkers from the Spider-verse), Matt (the Bride from Kill Bill), Parker (some Nordic warrior video game character whose name I kept forgetting), Tanner (peanut butter sandwich), and Tyler (Moon Knight), with Willis (some kind of demon) on the piano.

We had a ball, but that's how improv always is. The night's game list included "Advice Panel," "Dueling Plays," "Film Noir," "Mumbling Movie Murder Mystery," "Predictive Text Song," "Replay at Bernie's," "Tombstone," and other favorites.

I think the headline "Improv Show Enjoyed by All" speaks for itself. Come and check out a show for yourself if you haven't done so before now!