I remember when the Church's Family Proclamation was first announced. It was September 1995, and I had been serving in the mission field in Peru for just over four months. President Gordon B. Hinckley read the document in the women's meeting prior to general conference.
Among other principles, the Proclamation, just the fifth of its kind ever produced by the leaders of the Church, read that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" and "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Our mission president loved every word of it, and so did we. He gave us several copies of it so each companionship in the mission could distribute them to the people with whom we came in contact on a daily basis. It opened a lot of doors for us in our work.
The thing of it is: Everyone we met agreed completely with its teachings and accepted them as universal truths. Nobody had any problem with it, be they members of the Church or non-members.
Flash forward to 2019, not even a quarter of a century later, and we're in a completely different world. Merely repeating the teachings of the Family Proclamation is basically now hate speech and bigotry in the view of many of those in the Great and Spacious Building. I'm disappointed to observe that many of those upset with the Proclamation and the Church's teachings are those who would describe themselves as active members of the Church.
President Dallin H. Oaks speaks on this subject frequently, including at the latest general conference just a few weeks ago. In his latest "controversial" message, "Two Great Commandments," he taught:
"Marriage was ordained by God! And to this day it is defined by Him as being between a man and a woman. God has not changed
His definition of marriage. ... Eternal life includes the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female."
For those familiar with the doctrine of the Church, there are no new concepts here. And yet the backlash came, almost predictably, of Church members critical of Pres. Oaks and apologizing for the Church, its leaders, and its teachings. I observed a number of these conversations on social media, and when I dared speak in defense of Pres. Oaks, I was told by multiple people I was "behaving reprehensibly," that I was not following my covenants to love others, and worse.
It's almost as if Isaiah foresaw this when he wrote: "For they shall be ashamed of the oaks" (Isaiah 1:29).
A friend of mine---one who, like me, sustains Pres. Oaks---wrote: "I believe Pres. Oaks has chosen to follow the example of Abinadi, being a willing sacrifice, laying his life and reputation on the altar for the cause of truth, taking the heat (pun intended) for unapologetically declaring the truth to a hard-hearted people."
It's hard for me to disagree. I recently re-read Abinadi's words in my own scripture study. A few passages stood out to me:
Abinadi's opponents claimed that "he pretendeth the Lord hath spoken it. ... O king, what great evil hast thou done ... that we should be condemned of God or judged of this man?" (Mosiah 12:12-13).
Abinadi said, "I must fulfil the commandments wherewith God has commanded me; and because I have told you the truth, ye are angry with me. And because I have spoken the word of God ye have judge me that I am mad. ... My words fill you with wonder and amazement, and with anger" (Mosiah 13:4, 8).
Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke prophetically
in 1978 when he said:
"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions (see 1 Kings 18:21). ...
"This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ."
We certainly have arrived at that day and will be there for some time, I think.
Moroni also spoke directly to those of "the holy church of God": "Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies---because of the praise of the world?" (Mormon 8:38).
I suppose Pres. Oaks keeps speaking on this topic because people aren't getting the message. The number of those murmuring about it speak to this. I suspect he will continue to speak on it for the same reason.
"They did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them" (1 Nephi 2:12).
It's clear to me how the two great commandments work together: You must love others while simultaneously upholding the truths contained in the scriptures and taught by the modern prophets. You don't have to choose only one or the other, in spite of what the world teaches.
In his talk, Pres. Oaks spelled it out, and I don't think he could have spoken more plainly: We will all inherit a kingdom of glory, but only those who will strive to keep all of the commandments will inherit the highest, which is exaltation with our Heavenly Father. Teaching the true nature of those commandments and inviting others to inherit this kingdom is an act of great love, not of condemnation. Conversely, knowing the true path while also teaching others that remaining on a path that leads to lesser things is an acceptable option seems like an act of betrayal.
I realize that there are strong feelings about this topic. But I also believe there is a way for every son and daughter of God to obey this and every other commandment that has been given (see 1 Nephi 3:7). I believe a loving, wise Heavenly Father can and will provide a way for all who wish to find it.
I also find it significant that both the initial announcement of the Family Proclamation and President Oaks's latest talk on the subject occurred in the women's session of general conference. When Pres. Oaks mentioned the "divinely assigned guardians of the eternal family," he was speaking to the women of the Church. In a world that will teach the next generation, including my nieces and nephews, the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture, I will point them toward God's truth and not the world's counterfeits for it.
"Notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God" (Moroni 9:6).
