Pasta with Friends

For my friend Nick's birthday this week, a group of us went out to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. Fortunately, the spaghetti was not old but instead was fresh and delicious.

Also, there were balloon animals. In other words, all of the ingredients for a great night out were present.

Good Things to Come

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving holiday today and, where possible, you were able to spend at least some time with family members or friends.

As for me, it is an odd-numbered year (i.e. 2015), so it is a year when all of my siblings go to the in-laws' for Turkey Day. That is partly why I ended up eating my piece of pumpkin pie in a hospital room.

It wasn't what I had planned on nor where I wanted to be, but then again, nobody at that hospital wanted to be there—the other visitors, the nurses, and the patients especially.

Someone in my family is sick right now. Out of respect to this person and the condition being battled, I do not get any more specific than that at this time. Suffice me to say, for now, that this person wanted to be in this hospital room less than anyone else there and asked multiple times to be taken home.

It is not possible at the moment. Not today. But we hope and pray that that day will come soon.

Over the course of a very anxious week, we have been doing a lot of hoping and praying. None has been more stressed or worried than Mom.

I am not the one who tends to be optimistic in these situations. Nevertheless, a familiar quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley keeps running through my head:

"Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. . . . If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."

How exactly it will all work out remains to be seen right now. But in the Lord's due time, it will all be OK. There is always hope when we put our trust in the High Priest of good things to come.

Sometimes, the lessons on gratitude are not totally lost.

Family Pictures

Our last family photo was taken, according to my recollection, in December 2004. We were long overdue for a new one, having added multiple siblings-in-law, nieces, and nephews to the clan in the years since that time.

Jeff's sister-in-law Ginny took the pictures and did a fantastic job. If you're looking for someone to take your family photos, I can send you in her direction.

The Sacrifice of All Things

Since last week's announcement about the handbook update and the new policy regarding same-sex couples and their children, social media is ablaze once again. Quite understandably, there are some very strong feelings about this matter on both sides of the issue. I don't really need to go into the details, because I'm sure you know them by now, but in case you were pearl diving in the South Pacific and somehow missed it, Elder Christofferson explains the change and the rationale behind it in this interview here.

I have pondered a great deal about what to write about on this subject. The more I have studied it, the more I see the wisdom in the change and the great deal of thought, prayer, and inspiration that are behind it.

Nevertheless, I fully realize that, for others, including many members of the Church, the reaction is the polar opposite. The announcement has really thrown them for a loop and has caused confusion, doubt, and anger.

The scriptures and events from Church history are replete with heart-wrenching, defining moments in which people were asked to do things that shook the very ground they walked on. Consider Abraham's commandment to sacrifice his only son, Isaac; Daniel facing the lion's den; Alma and Amulek being forced to watch their converts being burned alive; the commandment for some latter-day leaders to obey the law of polygamy (which caused Brigham Young to look at a funeral casket and wish he were in it); and many others.

The greatest, most important example, of course, was our Savior, who plead in agony: "Remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done" (Luke 22:42).

Each was tested to core but, at the same time, each obeyed because they clung to a vital truth that was taught by the Prophet Joseph Smith:

"A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation."

The sacrifices we make and will have to make are likely not going to be on such a grand scale as the aforementioned examples, though there are those among us who live under very difficult circumstances, be they mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical. Certainly, no one can know the extent of the Savior's infinite sacrifice for us all nor will have to endure that kind of suffering.

However, my point is that, sometimes, what it all boils down to is that the most important thing we are asked to sacrifice is the only thing that is really ours to give: our will. We are asked to sacrifice our pride, our natural man instincts, or our inclination to disbelieve, criticize, or murmur. We are asked to believe, or to plant to seed to believe even if we can't believe right now. We are asked to support and sustain even when we don't fully understand the reasons why as we see through our natural eyes. Our father Adam sacrificed because he didn't know the reasons but he knew that he had been commanded by the Lord.

In a 1978 speech, Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught: "In the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions."

I believe that this is one of those moments of decision for some among us.

Having said all that, I am also troubled by comments from a few Church members about the policy change. To those who are struggling with this news, they have said: "If you don't like it, leave."

This sentiment should not exist among those who profess to follow Christ. Our Savior invited all who were burdened all to come unto Him and to find rest to their souls.

To any reading this who may be considering leaving the Church, whatever the reasons, I plead with you: Stay. The Church needs you. I need you. And you need the Church. If you have concerns or worries, it is okay to have them, and there is a way to resolve them. Pray. Read the scriptures. Meditate. Re-read a conference talk. Counsel with your bishop. If not him, talk to someone else you trust. Talk to me, and I will listen. Ponderize. Or tenderize. Do whatever you need to do to figure things out, and take the time you need to do so.

After all, the reason we have this church is because a young man had doubts, agonized over them, and prayed about them.

Remember this counsel of President Hinckley: "Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged. Things will work out."

If we seek out the Lord's will and have the courage to act upon the answers, I believe that things will, indeed, work out.

Aloha Oe . . . for Now

My Uncle Dexter passed away last week at the age of 78. His cancer diagnosis came just a handful of days prior, and before we knew it, he was gone.

His was a wonderful life. Uncle Dexter was that one uncle who pinched my ears and the scruff of my neck (we've all got one, right?) but who also gave great hugs. We never had reason to doubt he loved or cared for us. At Christmas time, we looked forward to the annual package of Omaha Steaks. I also cannot recall a single birthday, including the two I spent as a missionary in Peru, that he and Aunt Marilyn did not send me a birthday card.

The last time I visited him and Aunt Marilyn out in Fairfield, California, he fed us a hearty breakfast and proudly took Ben and me around to several members of his ward to introduce them to "m'nephews."

We love you and miss you. Aloha . . . for now.

Below is his obituary, shared on Facebook by his oldest son, my cousin Jamie.

Obituary William Dexter Sanders

JAMIE SANDERS·THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2015

William D. Sanders, better known to us all as Dexter, was born in La Verkin, Utah on Aug. 8, 1937, to Cecil William Sanders and Norma Stout. He was the fourth child, preceded by older siblings, La Ree Radmall Boyd and Carolyn Kleinman; he was followed by Judy Bower and Stephen Paul. Dexter graduated from Hurricane High School in 1955 and worked on the family turkey farm in La Verkin until he was called to serve a mission in Hawaii, from 1957 through 1959. When he returned from his mission, he attended Utah State University in Logan, Utah where he met his eternal companion, Marilyn Plowman. They were married in the Logan, Utah temple on July 27, 1960. In their 55 years of marriage, they had five children, Shellie Jensen, husband, Denny Jensen, Jamie P. Sanders, wife, Julie Topol, Scott William Sanders, wife, Claudia Berlangieri, Jared Dexter Sanders, wife Cindy Winkler and daughter, Sherrie Linn Sanders; they also enjoy, 19 grandchildren; and 12 great-grandchildren. In college he signed up for the R.O.T.C. program and after graduation he entered the United States Air Force as an officer and served our country for 22 years and retired as a Major. He was a navigator on the Air Force’s C-5 and a Base Operations Officer when he was on the ground. Many people may have also made his acquaintance in one of his other “spare time jobs”. After his retirement, he started a second career working for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as a mechanical custodian. In addition to his family, church service and career, he was an active member of the Boy Scouts of America with too many titles to list and was a recipient of the Silver Beaver award. Dexter became known as “Mr. Scouter” by all those who knew him because of his great love for the scouting program. He realized how this program could bless and influence the lives of boys and adults alike. His top priority was ensuring that all young men had the support needed to achieve the rank of Eagle Scout, which had the potential to positively influence the rest of their lives. He has been an example, mentor, leader and father figure to more people than we can list. Dexter has legacy of never turning down any opportunity to provide service and will be loved and missed by all. A viewing will be held from 5 to 8 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 12, 2015, at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 2700 Camrose Ave., Fairfield, California. Funeral services will be held at 10 a.m. on Friday, Nov. 13, 1215, also at the LDS Church. Interment will follow at 1 p.m. at Sacramento Valley National Cemetery, 5810 Midway Road, Dixon, California. All scouters in attendance can honor his memory by wearing their scouting uniform. In lieu of flowers a donation can be made to: Mt. Diablo Silverado Council, Boy Scouts of America, 800 Ellinwood Way, Pleasant Hill, CA 94523-4703 include in the memo: In memory of W. Dexter Sanders. Arrangements under the care of Fairfield Funeral Home, 1750 Pennsylvania Ave., Fairfield. 707-425-1041.

Improvables: Seventh Annual Halloween Show

On Friday night, our troupe put on our annual Halloween performance, which is one of our favorite nights of the year.

My attempt at a costume was Anger from Disney/Pixar's Inside Out, which has been my favorite movie of the year to this point. I say "attempt" because though I spray-painted my hair red for the costume (and the red spray paint got all over the place), it didn't really turn my hair red as I expected it would, and it also didn't really translate to photos like these (in which I am asking a question in a game of "Press Conference"):

At any rate, it was another memorable night, and the costumes were very impressive all around. After the show, members of the troupe posed for this picture:

As you can see, we're kind of a big deal.

Daniel's Blessing

Up till now, there's been a serious lack of Daniel photos here on Paco Nation. I'm gonna fix that tonight.

My two-month-old nephew Daniel, Steve's and Summer's little boy, was given his LDS baby blessing in his ward today by his dad. Everyone in the immediate family (and their respective families) gathered for this event, and we were joined by some of our Utah County cousins, including Ashlyne and her fiancé, Jordan (who made their big announcement just yesterday).

When I first attempted to take his picture, he was not a happy camper:

Because, baby issues.

Eventually he settled down for this photo:

All around, it was a memorable day, and we're surviving the return to Standard Time so far.