That We May All Sit Down in Heaven Together

When I was growing up, I remember seeing a quote by Lucy Mack Smith (Joseph Smith's mother) around the house, which my mom had crocheted (sewn? needle-pointed?) and placed in a picture frame for all who lived there and all visitors to see:

"We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another, and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together."

I have often referred to this quote for many reasons, but primarily I love the concept of us all sitting down in heaven together. This journey of life is not a competition but a path through which we are meant to help one another reach the same eternal reward. The gospel is inclusive and not exclusive, as we were reminded in this week's Sunday School lesson on the Book of Mormon:

"I speak by way of command unto you that belong to the church; and unto those who do not belong to the church I speak by way of invitation, saying: Come and be baptized unto repentance, that ye also may be partakers of the fruit of the tree of life" (Alma 5:62).

Just as Alma the Younger taught, I want us all to take part of the tree of life. All of us.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been saddened to read some of the comments posted on social media by some people who have turned the tragic, horrific Orlando shooting of June 12 into an attack on Christians, ridiculing the idea that the same Christians who oppose same-sex marriage might also dare to pray for the victims. It's a bizarre series of steps that seems to have led them to this conclusion, but that's not my point today.

One message I saw more than once said, among other things: "You say you'll pray for the victims, for their families, but tomorrow you'll call us sinners and tell us we're going to hell," and: "You care when fifty of us are killed . . . but you don't say a word when we swallow pills by the handful, slit our wrists, pull the trigger ourselves."

It goes on like this. But in case you haven't read it, I think you get the idea.

Let me just say that I can't speak for other Christians, but as for myself, (1) I take the idea of suicide by any human being for any reason very, very seriously, having attended more than one funeral for a friend due to suicide, and also as a person who battles depression, which can be quite terrible and frightening at times, on a daily basis. All life is precious unto God and is also precious to me.

(2) I am a sinner, too. I don't believe any of us going to hell. I don't associate with any bad people. As a sinner, though, I fall short of obeying all of the commandments God has given me, and he has commanded that I obey them all. There are issues and mistakes I still struggle trying to overcome. None of us is perfect, and none should cast the first stone. Thank heaven, literally, for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which gives each and every one of us the opportunity to repent and be cleansed, no matter what our sins may be. Repentance is one of those many commandments I have been commanded to follow. And just as Lucy Mack said all, that means everybody.

Here's the thing about making that return trip home: We don't make the rules. Just as we can't do it on our own, we also don't set the terms. We must be humble, teachable, and willing to follow His plan. We can't rationalize, justify, or excuse ourselves (or others) out of any sin or transgression, "for the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance" (Alma 45:16). Nevertheless, those rules and the great plan of happiness come from an all-wise and all-loving Heavenly Father who loves us perfectly. He is also thoroughly merciful, because "there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

For any who might be inclined to call me "bigoted," "ignorant," or "hateful," I assure you (1) I have heard them all and (2) I am none of the above. I will not be silent, for I have made covenants to stand as a witness of His plan "at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9). Others may wish to remind me that "you can't pray the gay away." Even so, I witness that there are many who experience same-sex attraction who both want to follow God's plan and who choose to do so. I am privileged to associate with them in my hobbies, in my neighborhood, and even in my own ward and elders quorum. They are an inspiration to me to do better and to follow Christ with a fuller purpose of heart.

When Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve visited us in Peru years ago when I was a missionary, among the many important truths he taught us was not to be afraid to preach repentance unto the people, because it is not a punishment; rather, repentance is a great gift by which we can all be healed and return to the presence of God.

That is the very reason why I continue to preach the gospel here on Paco Nation, on social media, in my ward, and elsewhere, even though I no longer wear the missionary nametag each day. For thousands of years, humanity has struggled in vain to find some alternate form of attaining true joy outside of the plan of salvation and the Atonement; and it has yet to find one, because one does not exist.

As I share the gospel principles that have brought me joy with those around me, both in and out of the Church, my motivation is one of brotherly love, inspired by the "love of Christ, which passeth (all) knowledge" (Ephesians 3:19). My ultimate wish is for us all to be worthy to return to live with Heavenly Father, for my mind cannot conceive of any greater blessing to share with all of my brothers and sisters. It is a gift there for the taking for any and all who will wish to take it.

Like Lucy Mack Smith, I want us all to sit down in heaven together.

Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot

It sure is hot out there right now, isn't it?

Yep. That's summertime for you.

Tangled Up in the Blinds

"To judge from the covers of countless women's magazines, the two topics most interesting to women are (1) Why men are all disgusting pigs, and (2) How to attract men."
 -Dave Barry

Yesterday was Fathers Day. Perhaps you noticed?

This made for an interesting Sunday block on the Island of Misfit Toys, in which the men (at least in my elders quorum) were treated to handfulls of candy. Which is all we really could want on such a day.

In addition, I really appreciated the closing prayer offered in sacrament meeting, in which the plea was expressed that on Fathers Day (and throughout the year) our Father above might bless the single men of the ward; those who are already fathers (we do have some) to be good fathers to their children, as well as those singles who are seeking to become fathers, that their righteous desires might be granted in His due time.

There is, unfortunately, a stereotype floating around out there that men are clueless, incompetent nincompoops who are obsessed with trivial, inane things and don't really care about the important things in life. I promise you, in case this comes as news, that such a stereotype exists.

I call this the "tangled up in the blinds" idea, in reference to a comedy bit by Brian Regan about the cliché moronic husband often portrayed on national TV in commercials (and elsewhere). The product being promoted is cold cereal or soap or something of that sort, and it begins with a woman talking about said product and how it helps out her family. Meanwhile, her idiotic husband it "tangled up in the blinds" behind her because he's just not smart enough to know any better.

Don't get me wrong; Regan's comedic piece is very funny (he's the best currently in the business IMHO), and I have a pretty darn good sense of humor myself and can take a good deal of ribbing that's done all in fun. But sometimes I feel like it goes beyond a little bit; that what's harmless to one is hurtful to another. And believe me, it does affect many of us in a negative way in some shape or form. We see this stereotype perpetuated, and it is not necessarily a boon to our individual self-confidence.

Getting back to that closing prayer: So very many of us do long to become fathers, just as the women we worship with desire motherhood. The results of those efforts are varied, but for the most part we're doing the best we know how to do in order to obtain that great blessing in the right and proper way. Unfortunately, it's taking us a bit longer than it has for many of our peers.

I feel this is an especially important reminder in a society that increasingly teaches and accepts the false concept that women do not even need a man around (ideally, a husband) to help raise their children and/or that "alternative" families in which fathers are actually an option and not a requirement are a reasonable concept.


I recently read Elder M. Russell Ballard's new book, in which he taught:

"To belittle or ridicule someone who has traits that you view as peculiar or to speak in a demeaning manner of members of the opposite sex is offensive to God."

This goes for us all, single men and women. In addition to this habit being offensive to God, here's the other problem with it: It is not attractive. Complaining about how horrible and stupid men/women are, respectively, is not going to attract a spouse. At least, I've not seen it work once.

And yes, before I get a bunch of angry comments, I realize and say again that it goes both ways; that there are a number of negative stereotypes about women, as well, and men who view women unfavorably, and I denounce this, too.

Anyway, that's about all on Paco's mind tonight. Let's all be a little bit nicer to each other and try to see potential mates through our Heavenly Father's eyes. And maybe not bemoan the fact that all of the men in your dating pool fail to compare to the likes of Channing Tatum (perhaps a post for another day there, too).

And now, I need to get my pant leg free from the extension cord.

Solitude

Toward the end of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, the burden of carrying the ring has already taken its toll on poor Frodo. Boromir approaches him and says:

"I know why you seek solitude. You suffer; I see it day by day. You sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo, other paths that we might take."

I know of a surety that the Dementors in the Harry Potter universe, for example, represent J.K. Rowling's own battle with depression during her life. I think this is quite an accurate representation. I don't, however, know all of the symbolism involved in the One Ring and its ill effects on Frodo's body and soul in the LOTR trilogy, though many comparisons that can be made to depression, as well as to chronic pain and other challenges.

One of the end results for many who battle depression, indeed, is to seek solitude. It has happened rather subtly over the years, but I see it in my own life when I don't even realize I'm seeking out solitude. Or, in other words, to just be left alone.

Some nights, I'm just not up for the social scene. I can't do it. Perhaps that's why I'm here alone on a Monday night pouring these thoughts onto a blog that maybe a few dozen will read, and that part doesn't really matter; I mainly write for myself so my brain doesn't explode under the weight of the ring I carry myself.

The irony, to me, is that much of the time, and in the big picture, I don't like to be alone nor do I want to ultimately be alone, either. I'm reminded of this weekly with my friends and colleagues on the Island of Misfit Toys, most of who crave companionship and are doing everything they can think of to remedy the situation, often ending in disappointment. (I say "most"; but that is a topic for another day and post.)

The Lord alone knows how very many, many times I have prayed, wished, sacrificed, gone out of my comfort zone to meet new people, and have tried time and again to improve my own situation. Sometimes, I feel when a relationship ends that all I'm left with is the option of disappointing someone new, and that's as good as things may ever get. That I just can't wait to get hurt again. But I am where I am nevertheless, though not through a lack of trying.

Fortunately, Boromir was right about one thing: There are other paths you can take, even though it requires a great deal of patience. And the righteous desires of our heart do matter, in spite of our imperfections and not seeing the results we want when we want to see them.

"For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts" (D&C 137:8-9).

Where am I going with this? I don't rightly know. It's still a long walk to Mordor.

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

This week in Sunday School on the Island of Misfit Toys, we studied the last few chapters of the book of Mosiah. Before his experience of being "touched by an angel," so to speak, Alma the Younger was something of an insufferable punk:

"He became a very wicked and an idolatrous man. And he was a man of many words, and did speak much flattery to the people; therefore he led many of the people to do after the manner of his iniquities" (Mosiah 27:8; emphasis added).

As I have the opportunity to read and study the Book of Mormon again this year, one of my principal foci (focuses?), since it was a book written for our day, after all, is to pay particular attention to the similarities between the days of the Nephites and Lamanites and our time. And the similiarities are abundant. Sometimes, it's a little scary just how close our two societies resemble each other, keeping in mind things like the Pride Cycle and the number of times the people were compelled to be humble through their sufferings.

The problem with flattery is that it's based on telling people what they want to hear rather than what they ought to hear. It often employs partial or half-truths but ends up being lies nonetheless. I think Nephi would have called it "carnal security."

We are constantly flattered by politicians (egad, we're facing in November the most frightening election in my lifetime), celebrities, media, etc. Even our peers sometimes flatter us, principally through social media. This flattery stuff is rarely, if ever, a good thing.

Elsewhere this week, I re-read a message by Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve:

"Sometimes, the adversary tempts us with false ideas that we may confuse with the Holy Ghost. . . . Faithfulness in obeying the commandments and keeping our covenants will protect us from being deceived. Through the Holy Ghost, we will be able to discern these false prophets who teach for doctrine the commandments of men."

Fortunately, Alma the Younger got the message, and through the Atonement became one of the most righteous people in the Book of Mormon. Humility replaced flattery, and he was completely changed for the better. His (and the sons of Mosiah) story is one of my very favorites in that wonderful book. It gives me hope that I can get to that place, too.

My Soul's Complaint

"He lives to comfort me when faint.

He lives to hear my soul's complaint."

 -"I Know That My Redeemer Lives," Hymn no. 136

We sang these very words not long ago, as Latter-day Saints are wont to do in our meetings. It's one of our most common and most beloved hymns, though I don't think I've ever really stopped to ponder much about this particular phrase. It was later pointed our by our elders quorum instructor, which then led to a rather interesting discussion.

Again, as Latter-day Saints are wont to do. Especially in elders quorum.

Complaining to the Lord? You mean, He lives to hear me moan and groan when things go poorly, or when I'm heartbroken or lonely, or when my faith is not a strong as it would or could be? He puts up with all of that?

Apparently so. It is a somewhat reassuring thought. In our deepest, darkest moments of despair and trial, He is there, and He understands, because He has walked where we have walked and Has felt what we have felt. I think He gets it if we have moments even when we doubt everything we once thought we knew to be true. We can only imagine the loneliness, isolation, pain, and anxiety He felt when He cried out, in the moment of His deepest despair:

"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).

What's the difference between complaining and murmuring? I think there is one, though it may be a fine line sometimes. I also Googled this very question and read a number of intriguing responses, mainly on other Christian Web sites and blogs.

Personally, I believe that murmurers have gone beyond merely complaining. They are not only complainers as a habit, but they are in open rebellion; not because they have doubts, but because they choose not to believe.

Then again, it may be just semantics. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, and all that.

This is not also to say, at the same time, that it's a good thing to be primarily a complainer. Because complainers are not only miserable people; since misery loves company, they love to pass it around.

This topic has been on my mind lately because my family has lost from this earthly existence two souls very dear to us this week; one on each side of my family. If I get to the afterlife and find neither one of them there (one was a member who shared our faith, while the other, one of the most giving and loving souls I've ever known, was not), I'll know I've ended up in the wrong place. Both were unexpected, though one was far less expected than the other due to age and health circumstances. Whatever the reasons or expectations may have been a week ago, we feel the loss dearly, and we mourn and grieve.

To some extent, our souls even complain. We may wonder why things happened the way they did. Personally, I wonder what to say that doesn't sound forced or stupid or uncaring. I always do when death is involved, for it is never an easy topic.

What I do know is that He is there to hear our soul's complaint. He understands. He loves us. In the end, He will make everything all right, even though all may be noise and confusion and chaos right here and now in this mortal coil.

Indeed, the He lives portion of the "He lives to hear my soul's complaint" is the most important part of that phrase.