Ghosted

Being ghosted: It's a scary topic. Which is why I guess I am writing about it on Halloween. Also, JB is home sick, and we didn't go out partying anywhere tonight. So, I guess you could say I now fully belong to the Old, Boring, Married (OBM) crowd on holidays such as these.

Have you ever had someone "ghost" you? This is when a person, whatever his/her reasons, completely cuts off any and/or all communication with you and basically pretends like you either don't exist or never existed in the first place. In the same amount of time it took Thanos to snap his fingers, poof! You're dead and gone to them.

I have had this happen to more than once. Odds are, so have you.

Sooner or later, we all get unfriended on social media. The casual acquaintances, the people with whom I went on a date or two, that person I home taught for one month and I then got a new assignment, the person I worked with for three months' time 15 or so years ago---I don't mind it when these people consider me no longer worth keeping in their circle of friends. I understand that.

It's when the people I've known for years and years ghost me that I'm genuinely perplexed. (Fortunately, I no longer lose any sleep at all over the girls I dated who ghosted me. I'm happy to say that that part of my life is over and done with and six feet under.)

Recently, I was saddened to discover a friend I grew up with had severed me as a social media friend. This is someone with whom I grew up in the same ward, went all through elementary and high school, took part in several scouting activities---even someone whose family took me with them on a summer vacation out of state.

This friend and I disagree on a certain political, moral, and cultural issue. I don't know for certain but strongly suspect that this was his friendship dealbreaker.

I am reminded of the words of President John Taylor, who said:

"If there be trouble existing between me and anybody else, I would meet them half way, yes, I would meet them three quarters or even all of the way. I would feel like yielding; I would say, I do not want to quarrel, I want to be a Saint. I have set out for purity, virtue, brotherhood, and for obedience to the laws of God on earth, and for thrones and principalities and dominions in the eternal worlds, and I will not allow such paltry affairs to interfere with my prospects. I am for life, eternal lives and eternal exaltations in the kingdom of God."

In other words, I don't want to lose a friend over a simple disagreement. I am concerned with bigger fish to fry.

Though I wish to lose no friends through my social media posting, I nevertheless will continue to stand up for the things I believe in, things that I feel truly matter to me. Elder Kevin W. Pearson of the Seventy recently said of social media:

"Much of the content needed for websites and YouTube must come from independent sources ... and individual members of the Church. Your voices must be heard on social media, wherever you live.

"We must be a voice for truth. We must have the faith and courage to speak up and engage in social media in a positive, responsible, noncontentious and effective way. We can simply share what we know and believe with others" (emphasis added).

Admittedly, I am still figuring out the best ways to share things non-contentiously and effectively. I sometimes make mistakes. I realize I have not always picked and chosen my battles wisely, but I'm trying to do better at that and will continue to do so in the future. If we disagree on anything at any time, it's not personal, and it never will be. I will not ghost you for any reason, nor will I fail to hit my brakes if I see you crossing the street.

I'm also reminded at this moment that the aforementioned friend I've spoken of in this post is an exception to the rule; the vast majority still remain my friends regardless of our differences. If you're reading this, then congratulations, you're one of the ones who has stuck with me through thick and thin. I'm grateful for each of you.

And, by the way, your Halloween pictures and stories are awesome. Keep up the great work.

Voting

I voted today.

So should you!

Plowman Family Dinner/October 2018

On Sunday, with Mom home sick, we gathered up at Mike's and Jana's home in Layton instead for monthly family dinner and also for our monthly family birthday party. October has the most birthdays of the year, with six: mine, Kira's, Jana's, Steve's, Ike's, and Ben's.

Here are the kids chowing down at dinnertime:

Ike and Jeff, sitting on a beanbag chair:

After dinner, the kids dressed up in their Halloween costumes so we could see what everyone will be wearing when they trick-or-treat and also so we could get some photos for Grandma. Featured in this photo are Graham, as a knight; Christian, as a scorpion; Ike; Kate as Moana-achu (a Moana and Pokemon mashup); Kira, as Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series; Danny, as Olaf from Frozen; Jake, as Captain America; Tanner, as an Ewok; Steve; and Jackson, as a scarecrow-type character (?) from the Legend of Zelda series.

As for our new missionary, who was notably absent, reports from his parents are that he is doing very well in his first week at the MTC.

Improvables: Tenth Annual Halloween Show

On Friday night, it was our tenth (yes, 10 big ones) annual Halloween show as a troupe for the Improvables. As always, it brought out one of the biggest and best crowds of the year on one of our favorite nights to perform for the good folk of Davis County. The audience was so big that we had to set up extra chairs on the sides of the stage, in fact.

I dressed up as Tanooki Mario and was surprised to have my Mario Bros. counterpart in Hipster Luigi, portrayed by Willis, something we did not plan (but that's improv for ya).

The other cast for the evening was rounded out with Keenan, as a Walrus; Kelly, as a pterodactyl; Landon and Truman both as Mr. Rogers (something else not planned!); Matt as a German Oktoberfest girl; Parker as Wolverine/Logan; and Richard as Paulie from the movie Juno.

Following the show, we posed for some pictures with our audience members:

One of the costume contest winners was our niece Olivia, dressed up as Darla from Finding Nemo, seen here with JB (as Sadness from Inside Out) and me:

It was a wonderful evening and a good reminder of why I am still pretty dang lucky to get to still take part in one of my favorite hobbies after all of these years.

Inktober and Living the Dream

I've been enjoying seeing everyone's art on display as Inktober rolls on this October. I didn't even know Inktober was a thing until this year (please forgive me, I'm a draftee), but I love the concept of it. It's great.

If you're not familiar with Inktober, well, I'm no expert on what it is and what it all entails. But from what I gather, people who take the Inktober challenge post a piece of original art every day.

For me, it's also indirectly a painful reminder of a hobby I once cherished. When I was a kid, I loved to draw.

It started with cartoons. I drew cartoons all of the time, beginning with doodles (I was and am still in many ways a daydreamer) and morphing into drawing actual comic books of my own. I drew about all sorts of subjects that interested me. I am particularly proud of the Nightmare on Helm Street series I created about my friends and our neighbors, the Helm family. (Still best taken with a grain of salt, in case any of them happen to be reading this. That's always how it was meant, and this isn't Monday morning quarterbacking.)

My interest in art grew also actual art in the form of pencil and colored pencil drawings once I took a weekly art class during eighth and ninth grades. Some of this art I still have framed and in my possession, thanks to Mom.

And then, in the tenth grade, I had an art teacher who unfortunately was not high on me nor on my work. I thought I did some of my very best work for Mr. A. I recall one project in particular that I poured my heart and soul into, and I had it returned to me with a "B" grade. Other such lukewarm feedback followed. My frail, 15-year-old ego was crushed.

It's at about that point in time that I fortunately found other creative outlets. The next year, I continued to develop my love of writing as I joined the school newspaper and also started an underground paper with a few friends. By my senior year, I served as one of the school paper's co-editors. Eventually, I majored in journalism in college.

In the years that followed, I also fortunately discovered a love of making home movies, theater, and of course improv in particular, and I'm very blessed to have that creative outlet now on a weekly basis.

Was Mr. A single-handedly responsible for destroying my ambitions as a budding artist? It's tough for me to say. Ultimately, the choice was up to me, but he certainly did not help me in the way I wanted. At the time, I think blamed him for it. I don't have any of those myriad comics now because, convinced I was no good, I threw them all away. It is one of my biggest regrets in life.

The attitude a teacher takes can help make or break a young person's soul. I hope and I trust that my teacher friends are aware of this concept and keep it in mind as they shape young minds.

On Twitter, I recently read this Tweet by a man named Clint Smith:

"One of the only reasons I'm a writer is because I had a teacher in 3rd grade who looked at my poem about clouds & said 'you can be a writer when you grow up.' It stayed w/me forever. Teachers, don't underestimate what your words can do for your students."

I echo that sentiment.

These days, I still doodle once in a while, but I'm nowhere near the artist I once was. It's been decades since I drew my last comic book. When I doodle, I'm keenly aware that my skill for what once was my passion is nowhere near what it was when I drew and sketched. Any ability I currently have to do what I once did with reckless abandon is, I feel, nearly gone. You wouldn't want me on your Pictionary team, either.

This is just to say that if making art is your thing, however and in whichever form you choose to make it, don't let anyone stand in your way. Create, and create some more. If you're just getting started with a new hobby, try and try again. You never know what the end result may be.

Ike's First Birthday Party

Tonight, we gathered at a nearby park in Centerville to celebrate the first birthday of my nephew Isaac, who turns one year old this week.

Here's Ike with his birthday doughnut, after we sung "Happy Birthday to You" to him:

. . . and JB with Ike:

It was another beautiful autumn evening. I love this time of year, and there are a lot of October birthdays in the family, to boot.

Dallin's Farewell

On Sunday afternoon, we journeyed up to Layton and the Oak Woods Ward sacrament meeting, along with the other Plowmans/Woods and a few of our cousins, to hear my nephew Dallin deliver his missionary farewell address. It was good to see a number of familiar faces (beyond family, of course) from the two years I spent as a member of that ward from 2012 to 2014.

Following the meeting, we went over to Mike's and Jana's home to enjoy some delicious food and also to visit with a number of family friends who showed up to wish Dallin well.

It was a beautiful autumn afternoon. Christian and Graham enjoyed playing in the leaves out on the front lawn:

. . . and Danny joined in on the fun, too.

We are feeling all of the emotions that a family can feel when one of our own beloved members leaves for the mission field. (Incidentally, Dallin entered the MTC today and has begun his missionary labors as I type this.) I'm honestly quite excited for him, because I know what an amazing experience is just ahead. Hardly anyone could be as happy for him as is JB, who served in the same mission from September 1999 through March 2001.

In my head, I still see that little kid I carried on my shoulders through the streets of Brighton, Colorado, and a number of other memories from his growing-up years. These kids grow up way too fast.

Some of the best growing up is just ahead. We are grateful to have another Elder Plowman out in the mission field.

Trunk-or-Treat

Earlier tonight, we took part in our ward's Trunk-or-Treat activity. The evening began with catered dinner in the gym, along with a few "Minute to Win It" activities.

After this, we went outside to pass out candy to the kids. (There aren't that many kids in our ward, so this didn't take very long.)

I still need to work out a few kinks with my Tanooki Mario costume (which is obviously missing the tail in the photo here). Consider this a rough draft for now. But I think I'll be good to go by next weekend for the festivities we have planned to attend.

Who knows? I may even convince JB to dress up again this year at some point in the process. (We could get lucky!)

Arbuckle Family Dinner/October 2018

So . . .

The thought has occurred to me as of late that I need to get better about posting photos of activities for both sides of the family. I'm still wrapping my brain around this concept, but I am working on it and will try to do better.

Sunday night, it was our monthly family dinner with JB's side. Afterward, our nieces Alex and Olivia played some hymns and Primary songs on the piano:

. . . and the boys (Tatum, Spencer, and Jake) did, well, boy stuff. (To be honest, this is basically what the Plowman boys would probably be doing.)

They're warming up to me, little by little. Sure, it's hard to tell with these few photos, but I can assure you nevertheless that it's a fact.

Bro Night at Scary Hill

Friday night, we (meaning Ben, Jeff, and I) gathered up at Cherry Hill for some mini-golf for our latest Bro Night. Because we are cool, hip, and trendy like that. Also, JB and some of the sisters-in-law had their own Sis Night recently, and we wanted to get in on the trend.

Cherry Hill was decked up as "Scary Hill" on this cool October evening, and the people there went all out in decorating the place very nicely for the Halloween season.

As far as the actual mini-golfing went, both Ben and Jeff mopped the floor with me. Admittedly, my mini-golf game has slipped a little bit. Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable evening out.

Conference Breakfast/October 2018

Over the weekend, we gathered around our TV sets, along with millions of other members of the Church, for our biannual general conference. As has been tradition for the past several years, we gathered at Mom's house Sunday morning for our family conference breakfast, which included breakfast casserole, pancakes, bacon, strawberries, and other goodies.

After breakfast, we watched the Sunday morning session of conference together, enjoying the opportunity to hear from our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, as well as some of the Apostles and other general authorities.

McKenna and Graham spent some time drawing as we listened.

This is how we roll. And we always have a great time together.

Improvables: Layton High School Drama

Last night, Lorin, Megan, Ricky, Truman, and I represented the Improvables up at Layton High School, where we put on an improv workshop for the kids and then performed an hour-long show for them.

This is one of our favorite places to go with one of our favorite groups of people, who are always such enthusiastic participants and vocal audiences. That's a combination that can't be beat.

Very rarely do we get treated like rock stars; this was one of those occasions.