Code Green

Not long ago, I found myself sitting in a movie theater, watching the first of what is expected to be several blockbuster films of the summer of 2015. Chances are, you've seen it, too. I refer tonight to a flick titled The Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Oddly, I found myself sympathizing especially with an unexpected member of the team: Bruce Banner, aka the Incredible Hulk. I say "oddly" because the Hulk is not necessarily my favorite Avenger, nor is he really the favorite of many others I associate with. (Maybe I need to get out more.) In a poignant scene, he finds himself talking alone with Natalia Alianovna Romanova, aka Black Widow.

I'm paraphrasing, but the gist of Banner's speech to her is that he is worried he cannot or will not have the kind of future he really wants. Because of his "condition," putting it lightly, he'll never marry, have children, or have any other semblance of a "normal" life that others enjoy and/or take for granted.

So, why do I sympathize with the Hulkster? Well, I belong to a mid-single adult ward—which I lovingly refer to here on Paco Nation as the Island of Misfit Toys, and sometimes as the Remedial Singles Ward. And I often feel like this very worry expressed by Banner—call it "Code Green," if you will—is the elephant in the room each week at church that nobody wants to talk about directly, and yet it is the very concern is that is very real to each and every person who attends and who longs for that same kind of future.

Perhaps this is why I find myself blogging about the issue so much. I sometimes feel like there is just not enough of a dialogue going on (that, or I'm not reading all of the right LDS-themed articles or blog posts—though I do follow as many as I can—on the matter), because each has his/her own insights and experiences on the matter. If you have a blog and I'm not already reading it, please share it with me. Follow me, and I'll follow you, and all that.

From a simplistic point-of-view, this "Code Green," so to speak, would all seem rather simple. Some basic tenets: "Marriage is ordained of God." To single Latter-day Saint adults, it is a commandment to seek out someone you can get along with for at least more than a few dates and then marry, be like Adam and Eve post-Garden of Eden, etc. Boom, problem solved, and commandment fulfilled.

Instead, it's just not that simple. Unlike all of the other commandments, it's the only one we cannot obey by ourselves, and that "free agency" thing gets in the way. Like Bruce Banner, we all worry to one degree or another about the future and what may or may not happen while simultaneously clinging to faith in things in which we can have faith. Collectively speaking, issues like the big, ugly, hairy monster of dating get in the way and complicate things even more. I feel we're collectively also terrible at communication, and personally I'm working to improve my own skills in any way I can. Big complications with that one. We worry about our own selves and battle problems of self-esteem and self-doubt and "I just am not cut out for this" and whether we really are capable of doing what we've been asked while still believing, somehow, that "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7).

The whole process is exhausting. At times, it's lonesome, excruciating, and heartbreaking. It makes you feel like you get back, at most, a nickel for every dollar you invest in it. It puts you through the ringer and then back again spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Indeed, it's far more complicated than it looks. But if you start over by breaking it down to a simple Sunday, I think, you can also find moments of joy as you make the journey and attempt to conquer that inner Hulk. That was my simple goal today—while simultaneously making a conscious effort to push that image of the elephant in the room down to fifth or sixth on my Top 10 list of concerns for the day. Our three-hour block was wonderful. I conversed with several old as well as new-ish friends and made a couple of new acquaintances, to boot. The girl I took out on a date this past week even said "hello" and briefly conversed with me (which lately seems to be the exception and not the rule—but more on that topic another day) between meetings.

Baby steps.

When all is said and done, perhaps Hulk is not ready to smash just yet.

Given This Land . . .

Have you seen this video yet?

If you have not already tuned in, I invite you to do so now.

This is a message recently delivered by Jewish Rabbi Jonathan Cahn at the U.S. Capitol the day after the Supreme Court of the United States began to hear arguments on whether or not to legalize gay marriage across the country. (It is already legal in over 30 states—largely due to judicial fiat.)

Yes, this very important issue is now not in the hands of the states or of the millions of American voters but instead in the hands of nine judges.

On a related topic: I'm one who believes that some of the most powerful sermons of the LDS faith are contained in the Primary songs we've known, sung, and loved for decades.

"Given this land
If they live
Righteously"

What a powerful reminder is given in these words from "Book of Mormon Stories," and they rang through my head as I watched this powerful, fearless, unforgettable speech by Rabbi Cahn. Though he has not, I imagine, read the Book of Mormon, he hits on a vitally important teaching contained in its pages.

This was and is a land of promise—as long as we who inhabit it live righteously.

My Dinner with McKenna

Earlier today, I enjoyed a birthday lunch at Hot Dog on a Stick together with my newly 12-year-old niece McKenna. It was fun to spend a little one-on-one time with this great kid, soon-to-be junior high student, aspiring thespian (she will be appearing in The King and I later this month) and recent Primary graduate/new Beehive.

Summer Breeze

Following tonight's bi-monthly family dinner, I got to kick back for an hour and hang out with these two puppies on the back porch while enjoying a cool summer breeze. All in all, it was a relaxing summer evening.

Well, except for the mosquitoes. I didn't care for them much.

Mob Violence

Editor's note: With today's post, I don't mean in any way to downplay or ignore any of the actual serious problems of intolerance of the past nor those so prevalent in the world right now, such as actual bigotry or war or the chaos the ensues from drawing, say, a cartoon of a prominent religious figure. Today's post is not mean to take that tone nor to equate the following examples in any way, shape, or form with actual struggles of the oppressed and the persecuted. It's intended to have a lighter, more satiric tone than what would be required to address any one of the above issues.

Thank you.

It's a good thing we've left behind the intolerant, ignorant, and barbaric ways of the past, isn't it? Modern-day prophets aren't tarred and feathered like poor Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon were in the early days of the Church in 19th-century Ohio. We don't have to worry about witch trials or Red Scares or even the Spanish Inquisition, either.

Yes, mob violence is a thing of the distant past . . . right?

'Tain't necessarily so, though. Mob mentality still exists. It creeps even into social situations.

Consider the following scenarios, perhaps at a social gathering near you anytime soon:

 - Getting people at a party to agree on which pizza toppings should go on the pizza. You will never get people to agree on this issue—ever.

 - By the same token, getting people to agree on which DVD will be shown at a party—which is the main reason why I tend to avoid these types of gatherings like the plague. Likewise, you will never get people to agree on this. (However, if you tell me in advance exactly what movie is going to be shown, then I can make an informed decision. Either way, people will likely end up asleep on the couch or not talking to each other in way or another, and I'll skip it regardless.)

 - Playing the party game "Mafia," which 100% of the time leads to hurt feelings among friends.

 - Posting an unpopular opinion on a social media site, and then watching the fallout. (Egad!) Or on a blog. (I would never, though.)

Scary stuff.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Joseph of the Old Testament was truly a remarkable man and one of my favorite people to read about in the scriptures. In addition, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is one of my family's all-time favorite musicals. A couple of my brothers and my brother-in-law have appeared in it in local theater. My niece also picked out the soundtrack on CD as a birthday gift recently when we went to the store to buy her a present.

Joseph's gift of interpreting dreams was truly a blessed one. What I wouldn't give to be able to interpret some of the dreams I've had (or others have had) over the years—some educational, some frightening, some bewildering, some recurring, and others, I think, have been just my subconscious's way of passing the time.

Just last night, as my troupe and I were backstage getting ready for an improv performance for the Island of Misfit Toys, part of our conversation drifted to the concept of dreams and their meanings. Perhaps that is why, in part, I had a dream last night that has stayed with me all day today.

Some dreams are forgotten within a few minutes after waking, but not this one. The odd thing is, you usually dream about people you already know—people you know very well in addition to those you may have recently met. But in this dream, everyone in my dream was completely new to me. I've never dreamed about a single one of them before, and yet, at the same time, they were all very familiar. And it took place in a city I've never lived in.

As the dream progressed, the majority of my time and efforts became focused on a beautiful young lady whom, likewise, I had not met before. The more I noticed her, learned about her, and the more time I spent with her in particular, the more beautiful she became in my eyes. She was, quite literally, the girl of my dreams.

Naturally, just as it was getting to this point, I woke up. Immediately, I longed to go back there, even though I knew, sadly, that it was not possible.

It wasn't so much what happened in the dream; it was the feeling that accompanied it. The setting is irrelevant, but, at the same time, it was a place I loved being in with people I loved, and the more time I spent time, that feeling deepened even more.

What does it all mean? I don't know for sure, but love is the word that sums it all up.

My personal opinion, and I'm quoting here from the Book of Paco and not any other source: Every so often, God lets us have even the tiniest, most miniscule, faintest glimpse into both the great love He has for each of us as well as the blessings He has in store, whether in this life, or the next—or perhaps both.

It was a marvelous sneak peek.