You Don't Have to Try So Hard

The troupe has a YouTube channel now, and in case I haven't already mentioned it, you can subscribe to it here.

Speaking of which, last week's video was the "Makeup Challenge," in which two male members of our troupe applied makeup to two female members. The tables were then turned, and the ladies had a chance to apply makeup on the guys. I found it very amusing.

So will you. If not, you are wrong, and you WILL be assimilated.

As I watched this particular video, because I was not present at this filming session, I observed how striking these ladies, whom I usually see with makeup on, also looked without makeup on. They're attractive people to start with—ain't no ugly people in my troupe—and it was just a different and unexpected glimpse at people I've known and worked with for years.

This, then, lead me to a thought that I've kind of really believed anyway for quite a while now but have not expressed either vocally or in print. It is simply this, and for all of the females who may be reading this post, take it for whatever my two cents' may be worth:

I get the impression that some of you might feel like you need to be dolled up in your Sunday best, or some other formal attire, with your hair combed or cut or looking a certain way or a specific color, and all of your makeup needs to be just perfect, and only in this manner can you be perceived to be beautiful or attractive. And I do not believe this necessarily to be true.

Please do not misconstrue what I'm saying. Granted, if this is what makes you "feel" beautiful, then do it. If dressing casually and comfortably is your preferred way to go, whether you're hitting the town or just showing up to spend time with friends, then do that, too. Certainly, there are times and places for both types of attire.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I find so many of you just as attractive whether you're wearing jeans and a t-shirt or playing sports than if you were dressed to attend a wedding or a formal dance. I'm not sure some of you realize just how good you look much of the time when, perhaps, you might feel you're not looking your best, or dressed to the nines, or whatever. Things don't have to appear or be "perfect" for you to look your best.

Pursuing or Pestering?

"Women want to be pursued," said a relationship expert at a single adult fireside I attended a couple of years ago. "So, you men? You need to do the pursuing."

I'm paraphrasing here, but that was certainly one of the main points of her presentation.

Very well, then; pursuit is the name of the game. And pursuing requires at least a degree of aggressiveness, does it not? You can't be passive and, at the same time, pursue. So, when does pursuing cross the line and become perceived as stalking?

There can be a very fine line between the two, ¿no es cierto?

Admittedly, this concept is at the forefront of my brain since I recently read this blog post, titled "How to Not Be the Mr. Collins of Your Singles Ward."

Poor Mr. Collins. He has no idea just how creepy and unpleasant he is perceived to be.

Sometimes, I fear that too many of us males, in our sincere but imperfect efforts to pursue, are perceived to be Mr. Collins rather than Mr. Darcy. Jane Austen has set the bar pretty high. It all begs the question: How do you pursue aggressively and yet not come across as a Mr. Collins type of guy?

I've been somewhat paranoid since reading that blog post. For me, it has raised more questions than it has answered. How do you give someone else "space" while, conversely, not appearing to be aloof or disinterested? I've been walking on eggshells on the Island of Misfit Toys since. In addition, might there be a fine line between being perceived as a loveable goofball or a dopey, inept, boring, annoying Mr. Collins?

I don't know the answers. I'm asking these questions out into the lifeless void tonight. There's something about rejection that makes you feel like you know nothing and have learned nothing and it's time to scrap it all anyway and start over with a new game plan.

One factor that I am certain plays into it: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just as behavior can be perceived as repulsive or creepy. For some couples who hit it off on the first date and become twitterpated, going on a second or a third or even a fourth date later that week is heaven on Earth. For others, well, the woman would never talk to you again if you asked her for a second date any earlier than a week later.

The rest is . . . well, a mystery.