Dearth of a Salesman

The job that seemed too good to be true, believe it or not, actually turned out to be too good to be true. Go figure.

So, throughout the month, I've been back in the old, familiar, grueling, messy task of applying for, following up on, and interviewing for several job opportunities. As I write this, nothing has yet panned out, though I'm waiting to hear back from a few different places.

I loathe this whole process. I abhor it mainly because I feel like I am forced to sell myself to the employer in my interview, and I detest sales.

When I'm in an interview with a potential new boss, I feel like there is a secret word, much like the secret word on "Pee-wee's Playhouse," that they're wanting to hear, and I have to make my best guess as to what that word may be. ("Passport"?) It's like I'm playing a game of "The $25,000 Pyramid," and I'm losing. No matter how impressive your résumé might be, you just don't qualify if you don't say that magic word.

Also, I am almost to the point at which I feel like I have to make up tall tales about myself and my previous work experience in order to land the sale. Making a sale is basically my least-favorite assignment at any job. Some of you are great at it, and pats on the back to you. But there are times when I do not feel like I could sell a life preserver to a drowning man.

It's all very frustrating. Yet it's a necessary evil.

The worst part about it is that no matter what you do, achieving success is completely out of your hands, in spite of your best efforts.

It almost reminds me of, dare I say it . . . dating.