Pioneer Day Weekend

Perhaps you heard, but we celebrated Pioneer Day weekend last week. The actual day fell on a Sunday this year, which meant that the neighbors basically shot off fireworks well past midnight for four straight nights.

Antelope Island caught fire Friday night, and it looked rather scary from my vantage point in Bountiful when I snapped this photo:

Anyhow, as a family we got together Saturday so the kids could go swimming, and that was followed by a barbecue at Grandma's and Grandpa's house.

Christian and McKenna had fun with an old favorite, Bristle Blocks:

And there was much rejoicing.

OCD and Indexing

How does obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) wreak havoc in my life? Let me count the ways.

Then, let me count them again. And again. And again . . . and once again.

Now that that's been taken care of, for now anyway, I've alluded to my struggle with OCD here on Paco Nation a few times before now but have never really devoted a full post to it until tonight. At this point, I really don't have anything to lose. So, here goes.

OCD is defined as "an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions)." Now, if I ever have to give a church talk on the subject, I'll be prepared with that definition.

I stress the unwanted portion of that definition, mind you. OCD affects different people in different ways. Some people, like Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as It Gets, have physical rituals to get them through the day. Others obsess about hand washing and germs. Still, others deal with unwanted thought patterns that occur in repeated cycles.

I am among the third group, I think. There may be more groups/behaviors, but I don't really feel like researching that right now.

OCD first reared its ugly head when I was 13 years old. I remember the first time I encountered it very clearly. It was my first moment feeling truly panicked in life, and I didn't understand why I was feeling panicked about this particular moment. Understanding would not come for years, unfortunately.

Other anxiety-filled episodes recurred over the years, and I realized my OCD wasn't ever going to go away. In particular, it really made some jobs and life as a missionary extremely difficult for me at times. Bless their hearts, my bewildered companions wondered what I was going through almost as much as I did at certain moments, if they weren't making fun of me during those times of indecision. I do not know that I would have reacted any differently from them had I not gone through it all myself.

Recently, members of my ward took part in the Church's worldwide indexing event in the form of a "Family History Hangout," during which a few of us, myself included, learned to index names and information from census files and other forms of data for the first time.

In principle, this was a great idea. But OCD had another thing in store for me. It came out rather quickly on this night, making my brain figuratively explode rather early into the evening as it tried to figure things out when things didn't make a lick of sense.

I will have to give indexing a try again some other time. I see the benefit in it now. At least I didn't run from the room screaming.

It's still an ongoing battle for me, this OCD thing. Nevertheless, where there is knowledge, there is additional hope. Though I didn't understand much about OCD at the onset of my teenage years, I have learned so much about it over time and how I can deal with it in healthy ways. If I look at it from a glass-is-half-full perspective, I see how OCD actually helps me in such things as doing my editing/proofreading work and also in being aware of others' needs.

Now that I've shared all of that, date me all the girls.

Also, I need to now proofread this post a couple of dozen times.

Christian's Third Birthday Party

We gathered for monthly family dinner tonight and also to celebrate Christian's third birthday (which is actually tomorrow, so, close enough).

Instead of the traditional birthday cake, Christian blew out the candles on a Rice Krispie Treat cake made up of little Mickey Mouse heads. You kinda had to be there, but it was well done.

Thirteen-year-old Jenna posed for this photo with her three-month-old cousin Graham:

Ain't no party like a Plowman party.

Land of the Free

"Given this land
If they live
Righteously."

 -"Book of Mormon Stories" (emphasis added)

We're hearing that word a lot about the United States of America today, being Independence Day. And rightly we should! We should be very proud of her today, on her 240th birthday.

Nevertheless, I have observed that not everyone out there is exactly proud of this country. Have you found that the people who complain about things here in this country are, with few exceptions, largely those who have never traveled outside of its borders? I have. Thanks to social media expanding all of our scopes of view, we're often hearing that we're (collectively) racist, evil, and that people who don't have the rights they should are still lacking those rights.

Granted, we have a handful of people in our country who are making a bad name for the rest of us out there. There are also secret combinations, just as the Book of Mormon warned us about, in the government, the media, and other places. But honestly I shudder when we're called these horrible names as a whole.

Meanwhile, much of the rest of the world faces terrorism on a daily basis, isn't free to speak its mind or to worship according to the dictates of its own conscience, and faces real, dangerous, largely unchecked bigotry in the form of women who are not allowed to sneeze without a man present and homosexuals and Christians both who are jailed, thrown off of rooftops, or are put to death in other horrific ways.

It's a nutty world out there, and you only have to look on the daily newscast to see just how insane things are.

Having traveled to a number of foreign countries and having lived in another for years myself, I am very grateful for just how good we really do have things here. During my time in Peru, I was first shocked to observe people call out racially charged things in my direction as I walked down the street each day, and then I just got used to it. And like my previous statement about the few giving a bad name to the whole, this was certainly the case; though I don't know of a single place here in my home state of Utah where you will walk down the streets in fear of a similar thing happening.

Just look around you. Where some see prison cells, I see freedom and liberty.

But can freedom be too much freedom?

Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in a speech last week on religious freedom, taught:

"We are in the middle of a rights revolution. Sometimes the alleged new rights are important to correct injustices. But sometimes these supposed rights are little more than demands that government forces others to conform to society's new moral preferences."

To follow up on my previous post, another of the many reasons I preach the restored gospel of Christ, as revealed by living prophets and Apostles, is because possession of this land comes with a promise contingent on our behavior:

"This is a choice land, and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall be free from bondage, and from captivity, and from all other nations under heaven, if they will but serve the God of the land, who is Jesus Christ, who hath been manifested by the things which we have written" (Ether 2:12; emphasis added).

We can see what happened to the Jaredites and Nephites who broke this covenant. What will happen to us?

Let us never take our freedom for granted by always striving to choose the right. Ultimately, we cannot have our rights without righteousness.

That We May All Sit Down in Heaven Together

When I was growing up, I remember seeing a quote by Lucy Mack Smith (Joseph Smith's mother) around the house, which my mom had crocheted (sewn? needle-pointed?) and placed in a picture frame for all who lived there and all visitors to see:

"We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another, and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together."

I have often referred to this quote for many reasons, but primarily I love the concept of us all sitting down in heaven together. This journey of life is not a competition but a path through which we are meant to help one another reach the same eternal reward. The gospel is inclusive and not exclusive, as we were reminded in this week's Sunday School lesson on the Book of Mormon:

"I speak by way of command unto you that belong to the church; and unto those who do not belong to the church I speak by way of invitation, saying: Come and be baptized unto repentance, that ye also may be partakers of the fruit of the tree of life" (Alma 5:62).

Just as Alma the Younger taught, I want us all to take part of the tree of life. All of us.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been saddened to read some of the comments posted on social media by some people who have turned the tragic, horrific Orlando shooting of June 12 into an attack on Christians, ridiculing the idea that the same Christians who oppose same-sex marriage might also dare to pray for the victims. It's a bizarre series of steps that seems to have led them to this conclusion, but that's not my point today.

One message I saw more than once said, among other things: "You say you'll pray for the victims, for their families, but tomorrow you'll call us sinners and tell us we're going to hell," and: "You care when fifty of us are killed . . . but you don't say a word when we swallow pills by the handful, slit our wrists, pull the trigger ourselves."

It goes on like this. But in case you haven't read it, I think you get the idea.

Let me just say that I can't speak for other Christians, but as for myself, (1) I take the idea of suicide by any human being for any reason very, very seriously, having attended more than one funeral for a friend due to suicide, and also as a person who battles depression, which can be quite terrible and frightening at times, on a daily basis. All life is precious unto God and is also precious to me.

(2) I am a sinner, too. I don't believe any of us going to hell. I don't associate with any bad people. As a sinner, though, I fall short of obeying all of the commandments God has given me, and he has commanded that I obey them all. There are issues and mistakes I still struggle trying to overcome. None of us is perfect, and none should cast the first stone. Thank heaven, literally, for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which gives each and every one of us the opportunity to repent and be cleansed, no matter what our sins may be. Repentance is one of those many commandments I have been commanded to follow. And just as Lucy Mack said all, that means everybody.

Here's the thing about making that return trip home: We don't make the rules. Just as we can't do it on our own, we also don't set the terms. We must be humble, teachable, and willing to follow His plan. We can't rationalize, justify, or excuse ourselves (or others) out of any sin or transgression, "for the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance" (Alma 45:16). Nevertheless, those rules and the great plan of happiness come from an all-wise and all-loving Heavenly Father who loves us perfectly. He is also thoroughly merciful, because "there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

For any who might be inclined to call me "bigoted," "ignorant," or "hateful," I assure you (1) I have heard them all and (2) I am none of the above. I will not be silent, for I have made covenants to stand as a witness of His plan "at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9). Others may wish to remind me that "you can't pray the gay away." Even so, I witness that there are many who experience same-sex attraction who both want to follow God's plan and who choose to do so. I am privileged to associate with them in my hobbies, in my neighborhood, and even in my own ward and elders quorum. They are an inspiration to me to do better and to follow Christ with a fuller purpose of heart.

When Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve visited us in Peru years ago when I was a missionary, among the many important truths he taught us was not to be afraid to preach repentance unto the people, because it is not a punishment; rather, repentance is a great gift by which we can all be healed and return to the presence of God.

That is the very reason why I continue to preach the gospel here on Paco Nation, on social media, in my ward, and elsewhere, even though I no longer wear the missionary nametag each day. For thousands of years, humanity has struggled in vain to find some alternate form of attaining true joy outside of the plan of salvation and the Atonement; and it has yet to find one, because one does not exist.

As I share the gospel principles that have brought me joy with those around me, both in and out of the Church, my motivation is one of brotherly love, inspired by the "love of Christ, which passeth (all) knowledge" (Ephesians 3:19). My ultimate wish is for us all to be worthy to return to live with Heavenly Father, for my mind cannot conceive of any greater blessing to share with all of my brothers and sisters. It is a gift there for the taking for any and all who will wish to take it.

Like Lucy Mack Smith, I want us all to sit down in heaven together.

Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot

It sure is hot out there right now, isn't it?

Yep. That's summertime for you.

Tangled Up in the Blinds

"To judge from the covers of countless women's magazines, the two topics most interesting to women are (1) Why men are all disgusting pigs, and (2) How to attract men."
 -Dave Barry

Yesterday was Fathers Day. Perhaps you noticed?

This made for an interesting Sunday block on the Island of Misfit Toys, in which the men (at least in my elders quorum) were treated to handfulls of candy. Which is all we really could want on such a day.

In addition, I really appreciated the closing prayer offered in sacrament meeting, in which the plea was expressed that on Fathers Day (and throughout the year) our Father above might bless the single men of the ward; those who are already fathers (we do have some) to be good fathers to their children, as well as those singles who are seeking to become fathers, that their righteous desires might be granted in His due time.

There is, unfortunately, a stereotype floating around out there that men are clueless, incompetent nincompoops who are obsessed with trivial, inane things and don't really care about the important things in life. I promise you, in case this comes as news, that such a stereotype exists.

I call this the "tangled up in the blinds" idea, in reference to a comedy bit by Brian Regan about the cliché moronic husband often portrayed on national TV in commercials (and elsewhere). The product being promoted is cold cereal or soap or something of that sort, and it begins with a woman talking about said product and how it helps out her family. Meanwhile, her idiotic husband it "tangled up in the blinds" behind her because he's just not smart enough to know any better.

Don't get me wrong; Regan's comedic piece is very funny (he's the best currently in the business IMHO), and I have a pretty darn good sense of humor myself and can take a good deal of ribbing that's done all in fun. But sometimes I feel like it goes beyond a little bit; that what's harmless to one is hurtful to another. And believe me, it does affect many of us in a negative way in some shape or form. We see this stereotype perpetuated, and it is not necessarily a boon to our individual self-confidence.

Getting back to that closing prayer: So very many of us do long to become fathers, just as the women we worship with desire motherhood. The results of those efforts are varied, but for the most part we're doing the best we know how to do in order to obtain that great blessing in the right and proper way. Unfortunately, it's taking us a bit longer than it has for many of our peers.

I feel this is an especially important reminder in a society that increasingly teaches and accepts the false concept that women do not even need a man around (ideally, a husband) to help raise their children and/or that "alternative" families in which fathers are actually an option and not a requirement are a reasonable concept.


I recently read Elder M. Russell Ballard's new book, in which he taught:

"To belittle or ridicule someone who has traits that you view as peculiar or to speak in a demeaning manner of members of the opposite sex is offensive to God."

This goes for us all, single men and women. In addition to this habit being offensive to God, here's the other problem with it: It is not attractive. Complaining about how horrible and stupid men/women are, respectively, is not going to attract a spouse. At least, I've not seen it work once.

And yes, before I get a bunch of angry comments, I realize and say again that it goes both ways; that there are a number of negative stereotypes about women, as well, and men who view women unfavorably, and I denounce this, too.

Anyway, that's about all on Paco's mind tonight. Let's all be a little bit nicer to each other and try to see potential mates through our Heavenly Father's eyes. And maybe not bemoan the fact that all of the men in your dating pool fail to compare to the likes of Channing Tatum (perhaps a post for another day there, too).

And now, I need to get my pant leg free from the extension cord.